I believe I am turning into my Grandfather. It is a conclusion I have come to after giving it much thought. I seem to have grown old and grumpy, and things that didn't used to bother me irritate the piss out of me now. So what happened? Did I just get old? Good possibility, no really.
Why do people pretend to be something their not? Having the knowledge to serve the correct wine with fish does not mean you have class. Might make you a lush but that alone doesn't equal classy. One of those little things that didn't used to bother me at all and now it seems to irk the hell out of me.
Oh here's another.....Those people that must use their voice to overpower any and all noise within a 5 mile radius to ensure that everyone hears their business, or whoever's business they decide to discuss with the world. Encounters with these people cause me to come up with creative uses for duct tape. I'm not a violent person really, the world just seems to bring those urges out in me.
Oh wait, got another one. What about the people that must be 1/2 an inch from your face when they talk to you. That one really burns my ass. If you are close enough for the pronunciation of your t's to cause spittle on my nose I'm going to hit you. See, grumpy.
Or what about the ones who go shopping with their entire litter of children and allow them to run screaming through the store. I swear, one of these days.....
I seem to have formed a bit of road rage as well. The people who insist upon pulling out in front of me and driving 20 miles under the speed limit are so asking for it. I have found myself actually trying to show them the speed limit by holding up the appropriate fingers. Well, not to old people because their old and have earned the right to do what the hell they want to. OK only 1 old person, but I didn't know he was old until I passed him so it doesn't count.
My husband laughs at me, I am failing to find the humor here.
Now after reading that you will probably find it quite humorous to know that I consider myself a fairly calm person. People around me tell me that all the time. No, they do not smoke crack. The fact that I have grown old and grumpy seems to only be affecting my thoughts. Fortunately it seems to not have any effect on the nerve in my brain that controls my mouth. For the most part anyway. All of these things are thoughts I have, so far I haven't actually taken action. Well except for the people driving in front of me thing but if they would read the damn signs I wouldn't have to show them.
So I guess I don't consider my new found irritations as to bad seen as I am able to maintain some sense of self control in the situations thus far. Just more of an observation of myself. Hopefully I will be able to maintain my self control until I get really old and can actually get away with making a huge ass out of myself in public. Seriously, whose going to cuss out Granny? And if you do, don't think I wont beat you with my cane.
Again, whose gonna lock up Granny, really?
March 31, 2005
March 30, 2005
All is well
Well all seems to have returned to normal in this house. Atleast as normal as it ever was. The kitten, besides the cone on her head, has come back to us full force. I am thrilled she is feeling well and has returned to her normal self but...... It is not necessary to show me you are feeling well by tearing down the bakers rack. Or distributing the toilet paper generously thru out the house. Nor is it necessary to have a wrestling match with your brother on my head as I sleep. Yep, she's back in all her glory. A double edged sword it is.
On another note. Has anyone else noticed its SPRING??!!! I'm so happy I could stand on my head and spit wooden nickels. It was 75 here yesterday and supposed to be 77 today. Of course that only meant one thing......The grill! So yes, I may have acted a bit prematurely but I had to cook steaks on the grill ast night. I couldn't help it, it was calling to me.
On another note. Has anyone else noticed its SPRING??!!! I'm so happy I could stand on my head and spit wooden nickels. It was 75 here yesterday and supposed to be 77 today. Of course that only meant one thing......The grill! So yes, I may have acted a bit prematurely but I had to cook steaks on the grill ast night. I couldn't help it, it was calling to me.
March 29, 2005
Fur babies
All the members of my household are back home safe. Our little kitten survived her ordeal and has returned home healthy. She has only a couple extra things she didn't leave home with. Stitches and a plastic cone. This cone completely irritates the piss out of her. She knows she is supposed to wear it so when we are around she just looks at us with sad eyes pleading for its removal. But I know better than that, she is not all sugar and spice. I caught her last night, when she thought we were in bed and paying no attention. I heard little fur feet in the bathroom, silently I crept into the hall and peered around the corner. There they were, the two of them. Her brother watched at first as she tried to hook her paws under the cone and push it off her neck. She tried to hook it on the door and roll on her belly forcing it off. Then they tag-teamed. Her brother would bite the edge of the cone and pull as she pushed with her paws. I figured now was as good a time as any to announce my arrival.
"What are you doing?" I asked. They both jumped and looked at me. My little girl fur baby looks up assuming her all innocent look and gives me the most pitiful meow you ever heard. OK, so I caved. I took the cone off for a little while. No, I did not leave them alone for her to tear out her stitches again. I stayed up, sitting on the sofa with her resting peacefully on my lap, no cone. Somewhere in the middle of the night I got up, replaced her cone and headed to bed. I know, I'm a sucker but she was so pitiful.
"What are you doing?" I asked. They both jumped and looked at me. My little girl fur baby looks up assuming her all innocent look and gives me the most pitiful meow you ever heard. OK, so I caved. I took the cone off for a little while. No, I did not leave them alone for her to tear out her stitches again. I stayed up, sitting on the sofa with her resting peacefully on my lap, no cone. Somewhere in the middle of the night I got up, replaced her cone and headed to bed. I know, I'm a sucker but she was so pitiful.
March 28, 2005
There are good people left out there
Just when you think the world has gone to hell in a hand basket, when you think all is lost, when you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. Something or someone brings that light through. We seem to have had a streak of badluck this week, a little to coincidental for my taste. Our car broke down not once but twice, our kitten went into heat so we had her spayed, our cat pulled out her stitches and literally had her internal organs on my table, the car we borrowed because ours broke down also broke down. Just a little much for my brain to categorize as coincidental. That was the end of it, I had all I could take. We wont be having anymore "bad luck", we're done with that, trust me.
Yesterday, after this series of events had unfolded in my brain and I had decided enough was enough there was a knock on my door. I answered it to find the parents of my daughters boyfriend. They had been told by their son the misfortune we had experienced this week and wanted to help in whatever way they could. They had come to bring us their old vehicle. They wouldn't take no for an answer, they wouldn't accept money, they wouldn't even accept payments for it. They handed us the keys, the title and kissed our cheeks saying they were happy to be able to do something for us. We cried. It is a horrible position to be in when your pride is pushing you to not accept the help but at the same time you know you don't have any other choice.
Yesterday, after this series of events had unfolded in my brain and I had decided enough was enough there was a knock on my door. I answered it to find the parents of my daughters boyfriend. They had been told by their son the misfortune we had experienced this week and wanted to help in whatever way they could. They had come to bring us their old vehicle. They wouldn't take no for an answer, they wouldn't accept money, they wouldn't even accept payments for it. They handed us the keys, the title and kissed our cheeks saying they were happy to be able to do something for us. We cried. It is a horrible position to be in when your pride is pushing you to not accept the help but at the same time you know you don't have any other choice.
March 27, 2005
Shit-O-Meter.........FULL
In your vehicle you have several gauges that inform you of the vehicles status in several areas. Well, I believe we have similar gauges in our body, one of which is a shit-o-meter. When that gets full, back up. You can only input so much shit before you begin to overflow. Well, I'm here to give forewarning. MY SHIT-O-METER IS FULL!
Yesterday my baby kitten pulled out the stitches from where she was neutered. When I found her the fatty tissue was hanging out of her from the area she had surgery. I immediately snatched her up and put her in the cat carrier and tried to contact her vet. I became frantic when he would not return my call. I picked up a phone book and just started calling emergency vets figuring I would take her to the first one who responded. The first one to respond also happened to be the one closest to me, which I am very thankful for. My husband and I got her in the car and flew to his office. While we were on the way there she got sick in the carrier. Once we arrived he took us into an examining room and asked us to take her out of the carrier and hold her on the table. When we pulled her out of the carrier it was no longer just the fatty tissue hanging out. Her internal organs were now on the outside of her body, literally. Thank God my husband was there because I completely lost it. I just knew she was going to die, how do you live through something like that? The vet gave her something to go to sleep so he could work on her. We left her there with him and he promised to call later in the evening and give us an update.
He called about 3 hours later and told us he thinks she is going to make it. There weren't any tears on her organs from her claws and she was doing well. She is on an IV and is receiving strong antibiotics. He is supposed to call back today when he does his rounds this evening and give us another update.
Do you know that the son of a bitch who did the surgery had the balls to finally return my call.....4 hours later?!! Like I said, my shit-o-meter is full. I'm sure he regrets that phone call.
Yesterday my baby kitten pulled out the stitches from where she was neutered. When I found her the fatty tissue was hanging out of her from the area she had surgery. I immediately snatched her up and put her in the cat carrier and tried to contact her vet. I became frantic when he would not return my call. I picked up a phone book and just started calling emergency vets figuring I would take her to the first one who responded. The first one to respond also happened to be the one closest to me, which I am very thankful for. My husband and I got her in the car and flew to his office. While we were on the way there she got sick in the carrier. Once we arrived he took us into an examining room and asked us to take her out of the carrier and hold her on the table. When we pulled her out of the carrier it was no longer just the fatty tissue hanging out. Her internal organs were now on the outside of her body, literally. Thank God my husband was there because I completely lost it. I just knew she was going to die, how do you live through something like that? The vet gave her something to go to sleep so he could work on her. We left her there with him and he promised to call later in the evening and give us an update.
He called about 3 hours later and told us he thinks she is going to make it. There weren't any tears on her organs from her claws and she was doing well. She is on an IV and is receiving strong antibiotics. He is supposed to call back today when he does his rounds this evening and give us another update.
Do you know that the son of a bitch who did the surgery had the balls to finally return my call.....4 hours later?!! Like I said, my shit-o-meter is full. I'm sure he regrets that phone call.
March 26, 2005
The town Gossip
Yesterday we had our sons first baseball practice of the season. This will be his second year playing, he so enjoyed it last year. I am really trying to have a positive attitude about this year. Don't get me wrong, I think my son is going to have a blast and I am going to be right there cheering him on. But this could prove to be a very long season for me.
When we arrived yesterday for our first practice we got to meet the children on the team as well as their parents. That started off fairly well, and then she arrived. No, I had never seen this woman before and wish I didn't have to again. She arrived yelling out to another woman sitting in our group, apparently they knew eachother. Then a second woman arrived who happened to be the first woman's Aunt, she also had children on our team. Sounds great, a team who is already familiar with eachother. Maybe great for the kids but this first woman was unbearable. You know you see movies on TV that have a town gossip who knows everyone's business and proceeds to tell the rest of the world about it. I have seen that on television but yet to see someone that bad. Of course everyone has shared a bit of gossip or two in their life but GOOD GOD!
I don't believe the woman took a full breath the entire hour of practice. I now know the names of everyone in the trailer park, where they live, who broke up with whom, why they broke up, whose a piece of shit, who went to prison, how long they were there, why they were there, whose going to prison, who beat up who, whose having a baby, who their having a baby with, whose cheating on who, why their cheating.......The list goes on. I know this information not because she was speaking to me. I had my back to her and sat on the far side of the bleachers. I know this information because she was telling the other women around her loud enough for the whole ball park to hear. OK woman, my shit-o-meter is full, I can process no more. There is no way I am going to survive another practice much less the entire season without telling this woman to shut the hell up. Hell, it will be lucky if she doesn't end up duck taped to the bleachers and gagged. Wish me luck, IM going to need it.
When we arrived yesterday for our first practice we got to meet the children on the team as well as their parents. That started off fairly well, and then she arrived. No, I had never seen this woman before and wish I didn't have to again. She arrived yelling out to another woman sitting in our group, apparently they knew eachother. Then a second woman arrived who happened to be the first woman's Aunt, she also had children on our team. Sounds great, a team who is already familiar with eachother. Maybe great for the kids but this first woman was unbearable. You know you see movies on TV that have a town gossip who knows everyone's business and proceeds to tell the rest of the world about it. I have seen that on television but yet to see someone that bad. Of course everyone has shared a bit of gossip or two in their life but GOOD GOD!
I don't believe the woman took a full breath the entire hour of practice. I now know the names of everyone in the trailer park, where they live, who broke up with whom, why they broke up, whose a piece of shit, who went to prison, how long they were there, why they were there, whose going to prison, who beat up who, whose having a baby, who their having a baby with, whose cheating on who, why their cheating.......The list goes on. I know this information not because she was speaking to me. I had my back to her and sat on the far side of the bleachers. I know this information because she was telling the other women around her loud enough for the whole ball park to hear. OK woman, my shit-o-meter is full, I can process no more. There is no way I am going to survive another practice much less the entire season without telling this woman to shut the hell up. Hell, it will be lucky if she doesn't end up duck taped to the bleachers and gagged. Wish me luck, IM going to need it.
March 24, 2005
Food for Thought
I was having coffee with a good friend the other day and she was telling me about a documentary she had seen. It was a different perspective on why we as Americans react the way we do to different situations. Mostly as to why our reactions are so violent. My curiosity was peaked and I already knew I liked the director so I asked to borrow the movie. My husband and I sat down to watch this movie last night, not a word was spoken during the film. It was a whole new perspective.
The whole idea behind the film was that we, as Americans, are spoon fed fear on a constant basis. Think about it, their right. I watch the news atleast twice a day. Yea I know, I'm old. But after seeing this I have noticed some things that I didn't notice before. We all are aware that 99% of what you see on the news is bad, but pay attention to what they do when they run out of stories about people being criminals. My local channel happened to do a segment last night called "Things in your home that could kill you and you don't know about". Hmmm Where are the stories about the good people in our communities? Where are the stories about the people who make a difference? But wait, they answered that question in the documentary as well, it doesn't make for good ratings.
They showed some interesting statistics. The year this film was made there were over 11,000 gun deaths in the USA, the next runner up was Germany with just over 300. Pretty scary that the next runner up was still over 10,000 behind. Why do we in this country have such a lack of respect for life? Why do we not have respect for the basic human right to breath? My daughter tells me all the time when she grows up it will be different. She will make a change. She says she will stop the corruption in our government, our corporations and our communities. I hope she does, I really hope she does.
The whole idea behind the film was that we, as Americans, are spoon fed fear on a constant basis. Think about it, their right. I watch the news atleast twice a day. Yea I know, I'm old. But after seeing this I have noticed some things that I didn't notice before. We all are aware that 99% of what you see on the news is bad, but pay attention to what they do when they run out of stories about people being criminals. My local channel happened to do a segment last night called "Things in your home that could kill you and you don't know about". Hmmm Where are the stories about the good people in our communities? Where are the stories about the people who make a difference? But wait, they answered that question in the documentary as well, it doesn't make for good ratings.
They showed some interesting statistics. The year this film was made there were over 11,000 gun deaths in the USA, the next runner up was Germany with just over 300. Pretty scary that the next runner up was still over 10,000 behind. Why do we in this country have such a lack of respect for life? Why do we not have respect for the basic human right to breath? My daughter tells me all the time when she grows up it will be different. She will make a change. She says she will stop the corruption in our government, our corporations and our communities. I hope she does, I really hope she does.
March 21, 2005
No humor
The Gods have once again found it necessary to put their sense of humor on display for me. Personally, I am not finding the humor in it. If you have been reading for awhile you are probably already aware that I am the parent of 2 human children but I am also the mother to 5 fur babies.
Yesterday, thinking I would be a good mother to my youngest two fur babies, I took them outside for a bit. With us living in the country we didn't take them outside right away for fear that they would be eaten by a hawk or some other predator. Then of course it became cold and I'm not taking my butt out to stand in the snow to introduce them to the outside world. So now that it is spring I figured I would take the kittens outside. We stayed outside for a few hours and they had a blast, romping around in the grass and chasing little flying things. When it was time to come in they didn't seem to see things that way and chose to run under the porch where I cant reach them. OK no problem, hubby gets on one side of the porch and I get on the other, no matter which way they come out someone will catch them. We finally get the kittens back in the house. Next thing I know my little girl kitten has gone completely insane! She is crying, rolling over acting a fool......Then she does it; she sticks her ass in the air and waves it at her brother. Of course I am thinking "no way, they are to young." Guess what, their not to young. So I now have to keep them completely separated which means one is locked in my bathroom while the other has the run of the house for three hours then I switch them. No, I am not cruel to my animals but I cant put them together until I have a chance to get her to a vet today. Needless to say, their wasn't much sleep for hubby and I last night with all the scratching on the door and crying that went on. You would think the little bastards would get tired and go to sleep. Nope, they are relentless. I will be surprised if I have a bathroom door left once this is over. They are quite determined to tear it down. Not funny!
Yesterday, thinking I would be a good mother to my youngest two fur babies, I took them outside for a bit. With us living in the country we didn't take them outside right away for fear that they would be eaten by a hawk or some other predator. Then of course it became cold and I'm not taking my butt out to stand in the snow to introduce them to the outside world. So now that it is spring I figured I would take the kittens outside. We stayed outside for a few hours and they had a blast, romping around in the grass and chasing little flying things. When it was time to come in they didn't seem to see things that way and chose to run under the porch where I cant reach them. OK no problem, hubby gets on one side of the porch and I get on the other, no matter which way they come out someone will catch them. We finally get the kittens back in the house. Next thing I know my little girl kitten has gone completely insane! She is crying, rolling over acting a fool......Then she does it; she sticks her ass in the air and waves it at her brother. Of course I am thinking "no way, they are to young." Guess what, their not to young. So I now have to keep them completely separated which means one is locked in my bathroom while the other has the run of the house for three hours then I switch them. No, I am not cruel to my animals but I cant put them together until I have a chance to get her to a vet today. Needless to say, their wasn't much sleep for hubby and I last night with all the scratching on the door and crying that went on. You would think the little bastards would get tired and go to sleep. Nope, they are relentless. I will be surprised if I have a bathroom door left once this is over. They are quite determined to tear it down. Not funny!
March 20, 2005
George Carlin is right
WARNING: CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECT FOLLOWS
OK I warned you so if your still reading and get offended I no longer feel personally responsible. When I go to bed at night I leave the TV on, I turn the volume down so you can barely hear it but if I don't have some kind of noise to distract my brain I will never sleep. Sad, I know. But if not my head will do the run down on what needs to be done, what has been done, who needs what, where this needs to go, what order that should be and so on. So yes, I have to trick myself into slumber. Anyway.....
I am sitting here this morning enjoying the quiet of the house as everyone else is still sleeping. I figure what the hell, I will do a little BE seen as I never have time to. As I am sitting here surfing it occurs to me that there is this very annoying voice saying incredibly stupid things in my ear. No, it wasn't in my own head even I don't have voices that sound this stupid. OK here's the controversial part, again you have been warned.
I realize that it is Sunday and the channel that I went to sleep to now has some evangelical nutcase spewing forth nonsense. Now don't go getting all huffy on me, I have no problem with that organized religion thing, not for me but I don't care if you do it. The reason I call him a nutcase wasn't for his religious beliefs but for the shit he was spewing.
Now get this....Did you know that women should make sure their appearance is modest so that they don't incite a rape upon themselves??!! Surely I couldn't have heard that right. SO now I am paying attention. Yep I heard him right, they should make sure they legs, arms and middle are covered so as not to incite rape upon themselves. OK now I'm not saying go strap on your leopard print belt and fishnet halter and go strut your stuff down main but I still don't think that makes you responsible for your own rape. OMG this man is on national TV spewing this to God only knows how many people. Shoot me, shoot me now....George Carlin is right I feel more and more betrayed by the human race.
Here is where my confusion lies, aside from the obvious rape isn't about sex its about control. But hey, I don't want to overload the sensory perception of this worm on my television. The way I understand this is that a woman would be responsible for the actions of a man because of her attire. Wow! So are you saying that men have no self control, no responsibility for themselves? According to that way of believing they preach over and over about how a woman is weaker than men, through out history this was taught. Hmmmm if men cant even control their own actions whose weaker here? Personally I think it is a load of crap, but playing devils advocate sometimes is fun.
OK so this means that because of the way someone is dressed you are no longer responsible for your own actions. Well alright, ladies I say we pile up in our trucks and hit the local construction site. I'm sure we are bound to find one man, hot, sweaty, muscles bulging, shirt off, dripping with masculinity and lets go jump him.
Hell he had his shirt off he was asking for it.
OK I warned you so if your still reading and get offended I no longer feel personally responsible. When I go to bed at night I leave the TV on, I turn the volume down so you can barely hear it but if I don't have some kind of noise to distract my brain I will never sleep. Sad, I know. But if not my head will do the run down on what needs to be done, what has been done, who needs what, where this needs to go, what order that should be and so on. So yes, I have to trick myself into slumber. Anyway.....
I am sitting here this morning enjoying the quiet of the house as everyone else is still sleeping. I figure what the hell, I will do a little BE seen as I never have time to. As I am sitting here surfing it occurs to me that there is this very annoying voice saying incredibly stupid things in my ear. No, it wasn't in my own head even I don't have voices that sound this stupid. OK here's the controversial part, again you have been warned.
I realize that it is Sunday and the channel that I went to sleep to now has some evangelical nutcase spewing forth nonsense. Now don't go getting all huffy on me, I have no problem with that organized religion thing, not for me but I don't care if you do it. The reason I call him a nutcase wasn't for his religious beliefs but for the shit he was spewing.
Now get this....Did you know that women should make sure their appearance is modest so that they don't incite a rape upon themselves??!! Surely I couldn't have heard that right. SO now I am paying attention. Yep I heard him right, they should make sure they legs, arms and middle are covered so as not to incite rape upon themselves. OK now I'm not saying go strap on your leopard print belt and fishnet halter and go strut your stuff down main but I still don't think that makes you responsible for your own rape. OMG this man is on national TV spewing this to God only knows how many people. Shoot me, shoot me now....George Carlin is right I feel more and more betrayed by the human race.
Here is where my confusion lies, aside from the obvious rape isn't about sex its about control. But hey, I don't want to overload the sensory perception of this worm on my television. The way I understand this is that a woman would be responsible for the actions of a man because of her attire. Wow! So are you saying that men have no self control, no responsibility for themselves? According to that way of believing they preach over and over about how a woman is weaker than men, through out history this was taught. Hmmmm if men cant even control their own actions whose weaker here? Personally I think it is a load of crap, but playing devils advocate sometimes is fun.
OK so this means that because of the way someone is dressed you are no longer responsible for your own actions. Well alright, ladies I say we pile up in our trucks and hit the local construction site. I'm sure we are bound to find one man, hot, sweaty, muscles bulging, shirt off, dripping with masculinity and lets go jump him.
Hell he had his shirt off he was asking for it.
Almost that time again
There are a group of ladies who, once a year, take a weekend get-a-way together. Normally we will get a cabin in the mountains somewhere and just have girl time. It must have a jacuzzi, that's our deal breaker. We're fairly easy to please. I have been informed by the ladies that it is about that time of year, which I completely agree. SO I have been looking at cabins. Some of the cabins I found are absolutely beautiful! I think we are going to go with the one that is on top of a mountain, amazing view. It also has a creek running through the property, 3 bedrooms, hot tub, jacuzzi and an indoor waterfall. Can we say time to relax?! Anyway, that is why I haven't put a post up this weekend. I have been slightly excited at the thought of getting away and relaxing for a weekend. But I'm back now :)
March 18, 2005
Letter to the pets
My dearest cats and dog,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The OTHER dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The OTHER dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
March 17, 2005
Who's stupid now?
I am a firm believer that we all have some form of psychosis. We all have voices in our heads that argue with us, yes you do. I have a few forms, one of which is my communication with my animals. No i dont need therapy and if you send a shrink i will deny it! They do understand me, i dont care what you say. Point 1: When i say "Oden(head cat of the house). what do you want?" he leads me to what he wants be it food or the backdoor. When i say "Stop doing that." He stops. When i say "Didnt i just tell you not to do that? Why did you do that?" He kindly looks at me at replies "Because i am a cat and that is what cats do. Stupid Human."
So there i was; finishing up the dining room with a good floor sweeping. slaughtering Alicia Keys rendition of "Karma". When out of nowhere there is a white streak of fur. Before i can scream "NO!!!" the ball of fur pounces into the pile of dirt i have already swept together and is gone in a flash. Now my question here is...who is the stupid one, huh cat? Yes the streak of fur was to fast to identify by face BUT......I only have 1 white cat, Annubis. The search begins, and it is a search because he knows i am looking for him. I seak the usual hiding places; under the bed, on the fridge, behind the sofa. Hmmm little ass has found a new spot. I give up my search and finish my sweeping as well as singing, i dont care if he doesnt like it.
Hearing a sound come from my bedroom that resembles something out of a horror movie i immediatly go check it out. What do i find? Annubis! He has gotten himself stuck in the closet. It appears as though he was attempting to walk along the tops of the coat hangers (a trick of his sisters who is much more agile than he) and slipped. So there he hung half on hubby's suit coat and half stuck on the bottom portion of the coat hanger.
This, my friends, is an example of what we like to call Instant Karma. No i did not ask Annubis why he chose to attack my housecleaning even though he knows he is not supposed to. I already know the answer, he will just call me names too. In this istance it was not the human who was stupid!
So there i was; finishing up the dining room with a good floor sweeping. slaughtering Alicia Keys rendition of "Karma". When out of nowhere there is a white streak of fur. Before i can scream "NO!!!" the ball of fur pounces into the pile of dirt i have already swept together and is gone in a flash. Now my question here is...who is the stupid one, huh cat? Yes the streak of fur was to fast to identify by face BUT......I only have 1 white cat, Annubis. The search begins, and it is a search because he knows i am looking for him. I seak the usual hiding places; under the bed, on the fridge, behind the sofa. Hmmm little ass has found a new spot. I give up my search and finish my sweeping as well as singing, i dont care if he doesnt like it.
Hearing a sound come from my bedroom that resembles something out of a horror movie i immediatly go check it out. What do i find? Annubis! He has gotten himself stuck in the closet. It appears as though he was attempting to walk along the tops of the coat hangers (a trick of his sisters who is much more agile than he) and slipped. So there he hung half on hubby's suit coat and half stuck on the bottom portion of the coat hanger.
This, my friends, is an example of what we like to call Instant Karma. No i did not ask Annubis why he chose to attack my housecleaning even though he knows he is not supposed to. I already know the answer, he will just call me names too. In this istance it was not the human who was stupid!
A little peace
This morning I had to go to the high school and register my daughters classes for next year. I hate doing this, it always seems to be a battle. It seems as though the people they have in charge of assisting you with your child's education could use some of it themselves. Last year when we went to do this the woman we dealt with was a complete moron. My daughter is a honor roll student who has taken honor classes for as long as they have been available to her, obviously she is set on a path for college. The woman we dealt with last year was trying to convince my daughter to take a cosmotology course. No don't get me wrong, I have nothing against cosmotologists, I used to be one. But for a child whose goal is Princeton or Yale you don't give them cosmotology!!! Needless to say we did not have that class, but it was an argument. This year wasn't so bad, only one disagreement and the counselor we dealt with today was in agreeance with me that whoever wrote out the schedule they thought she should have was an idiot. So it was fixed rather quickly, of course I had to sign a waiver to have it changed but I'm used to that.
On another note......I have the rest of the day to myself!!!! The baby isn't coming today due to my having to be at the high school this morning. YEAH!! I have decided that I am going to spend the morning online doing whatever it is that I want to do then clean the house in the afternoon. OK not so exciting, but it is better than cleaning the house with a screaming child ramming your ankles with his walker.
On another note......I have the rest of the day to myself!!!! The baby isn't coming today due to my having to be at the high school this morning. YEAH!! I have decided that I am going to spend the morning online doing whatever it is that I want to do then clean the house in the afternoon. OK not so exciting, but it is better than cleaning the house with a screaming child ramming your ankles with his walker.
March 16, 2005
Just Complaining
You know, being a one car family sucks. You know what sucks worse? Being a family with access to one car that has another car that they cant get to. That sucks really bad. We are a one car family at the moment but we have another vehicle, only its 800 miles away and we don't have anyway to get it here. So on days like today when the school calls and says your daughter is sick your in a truly shitty position. Fortunately today my sister was able to go get her but that isn't always going to be the case. Could we buy another vehicle? Probably but then we would be strapping ourselves a little to tight for my own comfort. Because it never seems to fail that if I strap us a little to tight Murphy must play and have everything break on us. Which of course we cant have fixed because I strapped us a little to tight. Sooooooo for now I am just going to sit here and bitch about how I cant get to my friggin car and how frustrating that is.
March 15, 2005
Floyd
I remember the first time I saw him. He was sitting under the tent I was convincing myself to walk towards. I didn't know he was there from a distance, it wasn't until I was much closer before I realized. He was wearing blue jeans with a loose white shirt and his cane resting gently beside his chair. His face weathered from the years and eyes that pierced your soul. His long black hair was pulled back neatly in a ponytail, the gray around his ears poking out from under his cowboy hat. There were alot of people gathered under the tent to listen to him and even more had pulled up their chairs around the edges of the tent to hear him speak. I was alone so I was able to squeeze in the corner, leaning against the post of the tent to get a better look. He smiled at me and motioned to a place on the ground by his chair. This is what I was here for, I followed his direction and sat. I had no intention of talking, I only wanted to listen. I didn't really care what he was talking about as long as he would just allow me to listen. I was lost, he was not, I wanted to learn not to be.
He said alot of things that day that I let sink in, some of which I had to chew on for awhile before I could digest it. I remember he was talking to the group of people who had gathered around him. There was a woman discussing a problem with him that seemed to consume her. He listened to her tell her story and only had a simple reply: "The one thing nobody can take from you is your spirit, because you cant take what you cant see." It was a simple answer and if you weren't paying attention it might not have made sense, but it did.
As the evening moved along people mingled and moved away from the tent. I never left my spot, I didn't want to miss anything he might have to say. There were only a few of us left under the tent with him and the conversation seemed to have silenced. I was mulling all I had heard him say when he turned to me and said "Tell me your story." I was confused, which story did he want? I had many. What was I going to say to this man? So I told him my story was complicated and that I wasn't sure at what point it began. He just laughed and said "It began in the beginning of course. I am an old man and I have plenty of time left, I'm sure your story wont take up what I have left. So tell it to me."
So I did. I knew as it was coming out it didn't seem to make any sense. I was jumping back and forth between situations. He didn't seem to mind and seemed to be able to follow along. I told him a story about people, love, betrayal, pain, loss and confusion. He was kind and understanding and he listened to me. When I was finished he said to me "Why do you allow people to use your own mind against you? It is your mind, not theirs." I wasn't sure what he meant by this at the time, but I got it later. He said to me "I teach forgiveness. You must take responsibility for what you have done and then you must forgive." My chin hit the ground. Take responsibility?! What the fuck? The only responsibility I had was in trusting people. I was so confused. I guess he could tell because he just patted my shoulder and said "It's time to sweat." I followed him, confused and angry.
The preparations had been made and there were a few more to do. We all stood and watched as he ritually prepared the lodge as well as us for the experience. Once inside, we had all been given the herbs and the stones were being brought in. The heat was building inside and the smoke filled my lungs. I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on what he was saying but my mind was wandering to our conversation before. I couldn't understand, was he not the man I thought him to be? Was he just cruel? He was talking to the Great Spirit, asking for things. I could hear him in the background asking for things like peace, forgiveness, love. He would tell a story about the sweat and how it came to the Lakota. I tried so hard to concentrate, I wanted to hear what he had to say. But the only thing that kept ringing in my head was "You have to take responsibility for what you have done." At one point it became very difficult to breathe so I placed my towel over my head and concentrated on his words. I worked to clear my hazed mind and focus on his words. Just listen to the words and the order in which they come out.
When the sweat was over we thanked our ancestors and the great spirit and we left the lodge. I felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted from me. Although I did not know what the weight was.
Later in the evening I saw him again. He was eating the meal we all shared together. He motioned for me to come sit with him. I was not eating, I was still confused and didn't feel hungry. He split his bread in half and handed it to me. I shook my head explaining I wasn't hungry but thanked him all the same. He told me it was rude to not accept an offered gift and still had his hand out holding the bread. Defeated once again, I accepted the bread. We talked for awhile about the sweat, the night air, many things. He then asked me if I had found my responsibility. I told him no. He smiled and said to me "Why would you leave that which is most precious to you in the care of someone whom the Great Spirit hasn't deemed time for them to be granted with something so precious? Do you think yourself smarter than he? Do you think his plan is wrong?" You could have hit me with a Mac truck and it wouldn't have hit harder than what he just said. I was defensive "All I did was trust. I needed help and I thought I could trust." He responded "There is nothing wrong with trusting. But when our trust is given without being earned we must take responsibility for the consequences. There lies your responsibility. You are not to blame for what happened, only for your trust. And you must forgive, your anger only eats away at your spirit so you can not see clearly." I told him I didn't think I was going to be able to forgive for something so horrendous. He then informed me that forgiveness did not go hand in hand with amnesia. He said "Forgive so you may heal. Forgive but do not forget so the mistake wont be made again."
I got it, I understood. I forgave and I healed.
He said alot of things that day that I let sink in, some of which I had to chew on for awhile before I could digest it. I remember he was talking to the group of people who had gathered around him. There was a woman discussing a problem with him that seemed to consume her. He listened to her tell her story and only had a simple reply: "The one thing nobody can take from you is your spirit, because you cant take what you cant see." It was a simple answer and if you weren't paying attention it might not have made sense, but it did.
As the evening moved along people mingled and moved away from the tent. I never left my spot, I didn't want to miss anything he might have to say. There were only a few of us left under the tent with him and the conversation seemed to have silenced. I was mulling all I had heard him say when he turned to me and said "Tell me your story." I was confused, which story did he want? I had many. What was I going to say to this man? So I told him my story was complicated and that I wasn't sure at what point it began. He just laughed and said "It began in the beginning of course. I am an old man and I have plenty of time left, I'm sure your story wont take up what I have left. So tell it to me."
So I did. I knew as it was coming out it didn't seem to make any sense. I was jumping back and forth between situations. He didn't seem to mind and seemed to be able to follow along. I told him a story about people, love, betrayal, pain, loss and confusion. He was kind and understanding and he listened to me. When I was finished he said to me "Why do you allow people to use your own mind against you? It is your mind, not theirs." I wasn't sure what he meant by this at the time, but I got it later. He said to me "I teach forgiveness. You must take responsibility for what you have done and then you must forgive." My chin hit the ground. Take responsibility?! What the fuck? The only responsibility I had was in trusting people. I was so confused. I guess he could tell because he just patted my shoulder and said "It's time to sweat." I followed him, confused and angry.
The preparations had been made and there were a few more to do. We all stood and watched as he ritually prepared the lodge as well as us for the experience. Once inside, we had all been given the herbs and the stones were being brought in. The heat was building inside and the smoke filled my lungs. I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on what he was saying but my mind was wandering to our conversation before. I couldn't understand, was he not the man I thought him to be? Was he just cruel? He was talking to the Great Spirit, asking for things. I could hear him in the background asking for things like peace, forgiveness, love. He would tell a story about the sweat and how it came to the Lakota. I tried so hard to concentrate, I wanted to hear what he had to say. But the only thing that kept ringing in my head was "You have to take responsibility for what you have done." At one point it became very difficult to breathe so I placed my towel over my head and concentrated on his words. I worked to clear my hazed mind and focus on his words. Just listen to the words and the order in which they come out.
When the sweat was over we thanked our ancestors and the great spirit and we left the lodge. I felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted from me. Although I did not know what the weight was.
Later in the evening I saw him again. He was eating the meal we all shared together. He motioned for me to come sit with him. I was not eating, I was still confused and didn't feel hungry. He split his bread in half and handed it to me. I shook my head explaining I wasn't hungry but thanked him all the same. He told me it was rude to not accept an offered gift and still had his hand out holding the bread. Defeated once again, I accepted the bread. We talked for awhile about the sweat, the night air, many things. He then asked me if I had found my responsibility. I told him no. He smiled and said to me "Why would you leave that which is most precious to you in the care of someone whom the Great Spirit hasn't deemed time for them to be granted with something so precious? Do you think yourself smarter than he? Do you think his plan is wrong?" You could have hit me with a Mac truck and it wouldn't have hit harder than what he just said. I was defensive "All I did was trust. I needed help and I thought I could trust." He responded "There is nothing wrong with trusting. But when our trust is given without being earned we must take responsibility for the consequences. There lies your responsibility. You are not to blame for what happened, only for your trust. And you must forgive, your anger only eats away at your spirit so you can not see clearly." I told him I didn't think I was going to be able to forgive for something so horrendous. He then informed me that forgiveness did not go hand in hand with amnesia. He said "Forgive so you may heal. Forgive but do not forget so the mistake wont be made again."
I got it, I understood. I forgave and I healed.
March 13, 2005
Update
The party was a great success! I must give my husband credit, he did not bitch all night about the clothes he wore. He actually claimed to like them, now i dont know if i am going to go so far as to believe that but he didnt bitch, so i'm happy. We had such a wonderful time. It was so good to see everyone. We were able to see good friends that we havnt seen in a very very long time. Of course there where some we could have dont without seeing but it wouldnt be a party if you didnt have both sides of the spectrum, would it? We did get the chance to see some people that we hadnt seen in a long time from fair, reminising was alot of fun!
It was a true C & W party, people got drunk, someone got sick, glasses were broken and someone ran down the street with an axe. In turn the party was a complete success!
I am still paying for my staying up way past my bedtime on Saturday night. You see, i am old. My body does not like it when i deter from "the schedual". So if i stay up to late i am punished for an extended period of time.
Sunday was pretty good we didnt do much of anything but lay around and be tired, again punishment for staying up to late the night before. I have to admit though, curling up on the sofa with hubby and the boy watching a movie was so nice.
It was a true C & W party, people got drunk, someone got sick, glasses were broken and someone ran down the street with an axe. In turn the party was a complete success!
I am still paying for my staying up way past my bedtime on Saturday night. You see, i am old. My body does not like it when i deter from "the schedual". So if i stay up to late i am punished for an extended period of time.
Sunday was pretty good we didnt do much of anything but lay around and be tired, again punishment for staying up to late the night before. I have to admit though, curling up on the sofa with hubby and the boy watching a movie was so nice.
March 11, 2005
Regression?
11 years ago I met the most amazing man. He was intelligent, funny, sexy as hell and he liked me. Everytime I saw him he was so well dressed, from his head to his toes. I used to have dreams of the way he smelled, pure heaven. Yes, this is heading somewhere.... 10 years ago I married this man, and love him more than humanly possible. But there are some things I just don't understand.
*phone rings*
hubby: "hey baby."
me: "hey honey, how is your day going?"
hubby "pretty good but I miss you."
me: "I miss you too."
hubby: "Is C and W's party this Saturday?"
me: " yep sure is. Have you given any thought to what your wearing?"
let me interrupt the conversation here to inform you that I have to ask that question or we will be sitting there 5 minutes before we are supposed to leave with him on the bed in his underwear looking absolutely clueless.
hubby: "um no not really. This is one of those dress up things isn't it?" *followed by a long,low moan*
me: "yep, but you have known that. So what are you going to wear?"
hubby: "I hate to dress up."
me: "after 9 years of holy jeans and cut up t-shirts did you think I wasn't aware of this? Or were you just sharing?"
hubby: " Well what do you want me to wear?"
me: "whatever you want to wear. Your a big boy now, I trust your judgment." *can you hear the sarcasm?*
hubby: "I want to wear jeans and a t-shirt."
me: "Look, if you just don't want to go you can stay home with the kids and I will go, it really doesn't matter."
hubby: *groans* "No, I want to go, I just don't want to dress up."
me: "you said that already."
hubby: "well I don't know what I have to wear."
me: "have you entered the closet lately?"
hubby: "well why don't you just lay something out for me and I will wear that?"
me: "Because everytime you tell me to do that and I do that you bitch all night about what you are wearing, and if I want to hear bitching all night I will take the kids with me.
hubby: "I wont bitch, I promise."
me: *laughing* "your so full of it! Besides why is it that when we met you were a fully functional adult male who had the intelligence to dress himself and now you need help finding socks?"
hubby: " your just so much better at it than I am." *dripping with sarcasm*
me: "I signed on to be your wife, not your mother. If I want another son I will give birth to one, much easier to train that way."
hubby: "how about we don't have another one cause the ones we have are close to moving out but we could still practice at making one."
me: " I am now getting off of the phone, I will lay out some pants, try them on when you get home. So help me God if you bitch all night this is the last time."
hubby: "I wont bitch, promise. Just don't pick anything itchy"
me: "ok"
hubby: "or to constricting."
me: "ok"
hubby: "or khaki" *gagging noises*
me: "I'm hanging up now"
hubby: *laughing* "I love you"
me: " I hope so cause you cant afford to pay for me. I love you too."
ok so maybe all men don't turn back into 5 year olds but for the ones who do.....WHY?? How do you forget to clothe yourselves?
*phone rings*
hubby: "hey baby."
me: "hey honey, how is your day going?"
hubby "pretty good but I miss you."
me: "I miss you too."
hubby: "Is C and W's party this Saturday?"
me: " yep sure is. Have you given any thought to what your wearing?"
let me interrupt the conversation here to inform you that I have to ask that question or we will be sitting there 5 minutes before we are supposed to leave with him on the bed in his underwear looking absolutely clueless.
hubby: "um no not really. This is one of those dress up things isn't it?" *followed by a long,low moan*
me: "yep, but you have known that. So what are you going to wear?"
hubby: "I hate to dress up."
me: "after 9 years of holy jeans and cut up t-shirts did you think I wasn't aware of this? Or were you just sharing?"
hubby: " Well what do you want me to wear?"
me: "whatever you want to wear. Your a big boy now, I trust your judgment." *can you hear the sarcasm?*
hubby: "I want to wear jeans and a t-shirt."
me: "Look, if you just don't want to go you can stay home with the kids and I will go, it really doesn't matter."
hubby: *groans* "No, I want to go, I just don't want to dress up."
me: "you said that already."
hubby: "well I don't know what I have to wear."
me: "have you entered the closet lately?"
hubby: "well why don't you just lay something out for me and I will wear that?"
me: "Because everytime you tell me to do that and I do that you bitch all night about what you are wearing, and if I want to hear bitching all night I will take the kids with me.
hubby: "I wont bitch, I promise."
me: *laughing* "your so full of it! Besides why is it that when we met you were a fully functional adult male who had the intelligence to dress himself and now you need help finding socks?"
hubby: " your just so much better at it than I am." *dripping with sarcasm*
me: "I signed on to be your wife, not your mother. If I want another son I will give birth to one, much easier to train that way."
hubby: "how about we don't have another one cause the ones we have are close to moving out but we could still practice at making one."
me: " I am now getting off of the phone, I will lay out some pants, try them on when you get home. So help me God if you bitch all night this is the last time."
hubby: "I wont bitch, promise. Just don't pick anything itchy"
me: "ok"
hubby: "or to constricting."
me: "ok"
hubby: "or khaki" *gagging noises*
me: "I'm hanging up now"
hubby: *laughing* "I love you"
me: " I hope so cause you cant afford to pay for me. I love you too."
ok so maybe all men don't turn back into 5 year olds but for the ones who do.....WHY?? How do you forget to clothe yourselves?
Ways to piss me off
Charge money to my credit card without asking me or informing me that you have done so.
You do realize that some animals eat their young, DON'T YOU?!
You do realize that some animals eat their young, DON'T YOU?!
March 10, 2005
Conspiracy Theory
They are conspiring against me, I have figured them out. I'm not sure whether they have sat down and actually had a pow-wow about this, passed messages along to eachother or telepathically worked up their plan. But they have done it, they are trying to see just how much I can take before becoming officially insane. I know about this plan therefore I will win!
It's not just one or two of them its all of them.....The teenager, the 7 yr old, the baby, the cats and even the husband. Traitors
It begins right away, they do not hesitate to implement their plan. The teenager leaves the only cordless phone in the house off the hook all night, its dead. So when I hit the page button to find it there is no ring, now I must go into her deadly lair (which I never venture into) to search for it. She has strategically placed items on the floor for me to attempt to dodge. Failure! First its the clodhopper that she calls shoes for me to stub my toe on, jump over the mountain of clothes, dodge the hairdryer cord trying to trip me, 1 more step and I am to the bed. (7 yr old screaming in the background about something) Pull the covers back on the bed and there it is, my link to the outside world! The 7 yr olds screams are becoming desperate and now the teenager is yelling right with him. Only 5 more minutes to get out the door for the bus. Rushing to escape the death trap of a room and save my 7 yr old from the clutches of the evil teenager I now hit everything I missed coming into this lair and more. The hair dryer cord reaches out to grab my leg as I am falling towards the ground I spin in an attempt to not smash my head into her deadly entertainment center. It is then that I realize I am now headed for the mountain of clothes figuring that is a safe place to fall. HELLO!!!!! There is no safe place to fall, this is a teenagers room! There is a sharp pain in my hand as I lift myself up I find her long lost earring stabbed into my palm, my leg is wrapped in the cord of the hairdryer, the phone is now lost again and the 7 yr old has now gone into a death wail. Forgetting the phone for now all I want is out and to save the 7 yr old. Cursing like a sailor in a muffled voice of course because you don't want to say those things to your kid, I head out of the lair with the look of "I will kill you" in my eyes.
Dislodging the earring from my hand I head for the wails. It is coming from the bathroom. Flinging the door open I find the teenager and the 7yr old locked in a wrestling hold and each of them screaming "it's mine!" I get the two of them separated only to find that what they are fighting over is neither his nor hers, IT'S MINE! It's my brush, not theirs and both of their brushes are sitting ever so neatly on the counter in front of them. I hear a horn and look out the window only to find the bus ready to pull off. Running out the door to stop the driver I hear a loud BANG and pray its nothing valuable. I convince the bus driver to wait just 2 more seconds as I don't have a car to drive the children if they miss the bus. Returning to the house in a fit of screams "Let's go NOW!!!!", I find the cats. Evil, vile little creatures. The one living breathing creatures in my house whom I thought would never join in my children's enjoyment of making me insane. Their they sat beside the turned over trashcan playing pass the tuna can. Coffee grounds all over the bottom of their little paws which they were kind enough to spread throughout the entire dining room in the short time it took me to talk to the bus driver.
I finish cleaning the mess up just as the baby arrives. He seems to be in a decent mood maybe he isn't in on the conspiracy. Why do I give them so much credit? He eats breakfast as soon as he arrives. When I am done feeding him I pick him up out of his little chair only to stick my hand in a pile of shit. He has had a blowout and it is all over the back of his clothes and now my hand.
It is then that it occurs to me that this is a conspiracy and they will NOT win.
It's not just one or two of them its all of them.....The teenager, the 7 yr old, the baby, the cats and even the husband. Traitors
It begins right away, they do not hesitate to implement their plan. The teenager leaves the only cordless phone in the house off the hook all night, its dead. So when I hit the page button to find it there is no ring, now I must go into her deadly lair (which I never venture into) to search for it. She has strategically placed items on the floor for me to attempt to dodge. Failure! First its the clodhopper that she calls shoes for me to stub my toe on, jump over the mountain of clothes, dodge the hairdryer cord trying to trip me, 1 more step and I am to the bed. (7 yr old screaming in the background about something) Pull the covers back on the bed and there it is, my link to the outside world! The 7 yr olds screams are becoming desperate and now the teenager is yelling right with him. Only 5 more minutes to get out the door for the bus. Rushing to escape the death trap of a room and save my 7 yr old from the clutches of the evil teenager I now hit everything I missed coming into this lair and more. The hair dryer cord reaches out to grab my leg as I am falling towards the ground I spin in an attempt to not smash my head into her deadly entertainment center. It is then that I realize I am now headed for the mountain of clothes figuring that is a safe place to fall. HELLO!!!!! There is no safe place to fall, this is a teenagers room! There is a sharp pain in my hand as I lift myself up I find her long lost earring stabbed into my palm, my leg is wrapped in the cord of the hairdryer, the phone is now lost again and the 7 yr old has now gone into a death wail. Forgetting the phone for now all I want is out and to save the 7 yr old. Cursing like a sailor in a muffled voice of course because you don't want to say those things to your kid, I head out of the lair with the look of "I will kill you" in my eyes.
Dislodging the earring from my hand I head for the wails. It is coming from the bathroom. Flinging the door open I find the teenager and the 7yr old locked in a wrestling hold and each of them screaming "it's mine!" I get the two of them separated only to find that what they are fighting over is neither his nor hers, IT'S MINE! It's my brush, not theirs and both of their brushes are sitting ever so neatly on the counter in front of them. I hear a horn and look out the window only to find the bus ready to pull off. Running out the door to stop the driver I hear a loud BANG and pray its nothing valuable. I convince the bus driver to wait just 2 more seconds as I don't have a car to drive the children if they miss the bus. Returning to the house in a fit of screams "Let's go NOW!!!!", I find the cats. Evil, vile little creatures. The one living breathing creatures in my house whom I thought would never join in my children's enjoyment of making me insane. Their they sat beside the turned over trashcan playing pass the tuna can. Coffee grounds all over the bottom of their little paws which they were kind enough to spread throughout the entire dining room in the short time it took me to talk to the bus driver.
I finish cleaning the mess up just as the baby arrives. He seems to be in a decent mood maybe he isn't in on the conspiracy. Why do I give them so much credit? He eats breakfast as soon as he arrives. When I am done feeding him I pick him up out of his little chair only to stick my hand in a pile of shit. He has had a blowout and it is all over the back of his clothes and now my hand.
It is then that it occurs to me that this is a conspiracy and they will NOT win.
March 09, 2005
Shhhhhh
Shhhhhhh You hear that? It's the sound of silence and nothing more than me typing away to you. Such a wonderful sound, I don't get to hear it much anymore. I have come to a point in my life where my youngest child is now at school for a full day. I have learned what me time is. I have to admit I was very afraid at first. What was I if I wasn't their mother? What was I going to do with myself with nobody here to need something? Those things passed very quickly, 2 days and I figured it out. I figured out how to have me time for the first time in as long as I could remember. Well then my sister decided to have a baby and all that went out the window. With her needing a babysitter and all I kind of got corralled into keeping him. I love him and enjoy him but damn it I was just getting comfortable with my time. So now I have gone back to where I started, you know, showers being optional and all. Not much time for yourself with an infant in the house.
But today is a glorious day! The baby has a doctor's appointment so he wont be here until 10 or 11. I get me time again!!!!!! And silence, oh sweet silence; how I have missed you.
But today is a glorious day! The baby has a doctor's appointment so he wont be here until 10 or 11. I get me time again!!!!!! And silence, oh sweet silence; how I have missed you.
March 08, 2005
Just wondering
I have a friend who is a 27 yr old woman, married with a child. She happens to be considered a "larger" woman. In all the time I have known her I have always seen her dressed in some type of old t-shirt and jeans, never seemed to have any pride in her appearance. Never really seemed much interested in that. I never much cared, just figured that was her. She is my friend and I love her and accept her for who she is. So, when she came to me asking for help in picking out a new wardrobe I was a bit surprised. It was on this shopping trip that some very sad realizations occurred to me.
She was looking for something different, something cute but was hesitant to say that. Which I found a bit odd, not that she wanted something cute but that she couldn't say that. It was then that she looked at me and said "I've never owned anything that made me feel pretty." I was taken aback, here is this grown married woman, mother of 1 and she had never felt pretty? Now this may seem a bit superficial to some of you but stop and think about it. As a woman, could you imagine living your entire life and having never felt good about your appearance? All of her life it has been subtly suggested to her that because she is larger, pretty just isn't something to shoot for. No, pretty shouldn't base who you are and it shouldn't mold you as a person. But every soul deserves to feel good about themselves.
Society tells us that if you are overweight you aren't acceptable. If you aren't a size 2 and like one of the crack monkey looking runway models you aren't good enough. This is not true. What purpose does this type of media serve? What result do you think this is going to end up in?
There is a tribe, I don't remember what country it is in, that up until a few years ago had never been exposed to the western media. They had their own standards as to what was beautiful, what was acceptable and how they did things. Once they were exposed to western media they now have an onslaught of bulimia and anorexia. Hmmmmmm Interesting.
Now don't get me wrong I am not advocating obesity for medical reasons but I am advocating every human being having the right to feel good about themselves regardless of their size. What right do we have to tear apart another soul? Think about it, a girl from the time she is old enough to understand is told how pretty she is or how cute she is. Where is the intelligence? Where is the wit? Where is the sense of humor? All in all from the time she is old enough to understand none of those things are as important as her appearance. I'm not saying its right I'm just saying that's how it is. As a mother raising a girl I have always pointed out how smart she is, how funny she is, what an amazing personality she has. Of course I still tell her she is beautiful but I don't base her entire identity on that. Why do we allow society to do that to us? We dictate what is socially acceptable. All of us are beautiful in one way or another, we all have an amazing light that wants to shine through if we will just let it. If we will just look at it. When are we going to stop placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves and each other? At what point is enough enough?
I was just wondering.
She was looking for something different, something cute but was hesitant to say that. Which I found a bit odd, not that she wanted something cute but that she couldn't say that. It was then that she looked at me and said "I've never owned anything that made me feel pretty." I was taken aback, here is this grown married woman, mother of 1 and she had never felt pretty? Now this may seem a bit superficial to some of you but stop and think about it. As a woman, could you imagine living your entire life and having never felt good about your appearance? All of her life it has been subtly suggested to her that because she is larger, pretty just isn't something to shoot for. No, pretty shouldn't base who you are and it shouldn't mold you as a person. But every soul deserves to feel good about themselves.
Society tells us that if you are overweight you aren't acceptable. If you aren't a size 2 and like one of the crack monkey looking runway models you aren't good enough. This is not true. What purpose does this type of media serve? What result do you think this is going to end up in?
There is a tribe, I don't remember what country it is in, that up until a few years ago had never been exposed to the western media. They had their own standards as to what was beautiful, what was acceptable and how they did things. Once they were exposed to western media they now have an onslaught of bulimia and anorexia. Hmmmmmm Interesting.
Now don't get me wrong I am not advocating obesity for medical reasons but I am advocating every human being having the right to feel good about themselves regardless of their size. What right do we have to tear apart another soul? Think about it, a girl from the time she is old enough to understand is told how pretty she is or how cute she is. Where is the intelligence? Where is the wit? Where is the sense of humor? All in all from the time she is old enough to understand none of those things are as important as her appearance. I'm not saying its right I'm just saying that's how it is. As a mother raising a girl I have always pointed out how smart she is, how funny she is, what an amazing personality she has. Of course I still tell her she is beautiful but I don't base her entire identity on that. Why do we allow society to do that to us? We dictate what is socially acceptable. All of us are beautiful in one way or another, we all have an amazing light that wants to shine through if we will just let it. If we will just look at it. When are we going to stop placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves and each other? At what point is enough enough?
I was just wondering.
March 07, 2005
I truly hate Mondays. I can never seem to wake up refreshed no matter how much sleep I seem to get. I fee as if I haven't gotten any sleep at all and I went to bed fairly early last night. This past weekend was a really good one. There was Friday night with the girls, Saturday with the girls and that evening with the family and then yesterday with D. I think he is still sucking up for being in trouble Thursday but either way I enjoyed it. He talked to my sister and had her babysit Austin for us as Ash had to work. The original plan was for us to go to the movies but it didn't quite work out that way. Once we got into town he asked if I wanted to go to the mall and do a little bit of shopping. That was when I knew, the sucking up had begun. So we went to the mall and looked around, I tried on some clothes and he sat patiently with a smile on his face. Poor guy, he hates shopping. We ended up going to eat and then decided to head on back because we still had grocery shopping to do before we picked Austin up and we didn't want to get home to late on a school night.
The grocery store was another challenge. Now you have to remember that I live in the deep south. So the idea of buying healthy food is almost ridiculous. If it isn't deep fried smothered in lard your going to play hell finding it around here. Since I hit that 30 year mark my body has completely betrayed me and my metabolism has gone on strike. Because of this I have worked hard to change my eating habits to healthier things and thrown a workout routine in there. But damn it is hard to find the types of food I am looking for at the store. I'm looking at the people I am passing by and realizing that 90% are in the obese category. Seems like a conspiracy to me between the food industry and the medical community. Awe hell it sounded good anyway LOL
The grocery store was another challenge. Now you have to remember that I live in the deep south. So the idea of buying healthy food is almost ridiculous. If it isn't deep fried smothered in lard your going to play hell finding it around here. Since I hit that 30 year mark my body has completely betrayed me and my metabolism has gone on strike. Because of this I have worked hard to change my eating habits to healthier things and thrown a workout routine in there. But damn it is hard to find the types of food I am looking for at the store. I'm looking at the people I am passing by and realizing that 90% are in the obese category. Seems like a conspiracy to me between the food industry and the medical community. Awe hell it sounded good anyway LOL
March 06, 2005
Good Morning
First and foremost let me take this moment to thank Justice for an amazing job! She is solely responsible for creating this site. She is absolutely talented and were it not for her this wouldn't exist as I am computer illiterate. I consider it a great success on the days the computer turns on and allows me to type without any complications.
This was supposed to be a day for sleeping in and relaxation. As you can see it isn't even 8am yet. Not really sure why I'm awake, I think I was excited to see the site finished and just couldn't convince myself not to get up and check it. I happen to be a rambler so you may see a bit of that here. Some of you may be following me from my old blog and you already are familiar with the characters in my "story". But for those of you who are new I will try and make it easy for you. There are several people I will talk about here so I will try and give you a brief explanation as to what role they play in my life.
D is my wonderful husband. An absolutely amazing man who knows my faults and loves me anyway, puts up with my craziness and still treats me like a queen.
Ash is my teenage daughter who never ceases to amaze me. She is incredibly intelligent and absolutely beautiful, unfortunately she got her mother's smart ass mouth. Trust me, it is difficult having a child going through their teenage years who happens to be scary smart, they have all kinds of rationale for why they do the things they do. Not to mention beautiful UGH! It would be much easier if she was ugly.
Erica is my baby girl who passed away 5 yrs ago, she was 8. An incredible light that touched all she came in contact with. Truly a soul who was just on a higher level than the rest of us.
Austin is my extraordinary 7 yr old son. He can always put a smile on my face. Funny, smart, energetic, beautiful, he gives me the opportunity to look at things with the simplicity of a child. He is a very busy little boy who tackles the world every day with renewed enthusiasm and his fathers optimism.
that's the family with exception to the 4 cats and 1 dog. Yes, there are more animals than humans in my house. On one hand I prefer animals to humans for the most part but on the other it is like having a houseful of toddlers. Exhausting. There are several other amazing people in my life whom I will introduce to you along the way but that's a start. With the basics you should be able to follow along with my ramblings and craziness.
This was supposed to be a day for sleeping in and relaxation. As you can see it isn't even 8am yet. Not really sure why I'm awake, I think I was excited to see the site finished and just couldn't convince myself not to get up and check it. I happen to be a rambler so you may see a bit of that here. Some of you may be following me from my old blog and you already are familiar with the characters in my "story". But for those of you who are new I will try and make it easy for you. There are several people I will talk about here so I will try and give you a brief explanation as to what role they play in my life.
D is my wonderful husband. An absolutely amazing man who knows my faults and loves me anyway, puts up with my craziness and still treats me like a queen.
Ash is my teenage daughter who never ceases to amaze me. She is incredibly intelligent and absolutely beautiful, unfortunately she got her mother's smart ass mouth. Trust me, it is difficult having a child going through their teenage years who happens to be scary smart, they have all kinds of rationale for why they do the things they do. Not to mention beautiful UGH! It would be much easier if she was ugly.
Erica is my baby girl who passed away 5 yrs ago, she was 8. An incredible light that touched all she came in contact with. Truly a soul who was just on a higher level than the rest of us.
Austin is my extraordinary 7 yr old son. He can always put a smile on my face. Funny, smart, energetic, beautiful, he gives me the opportunity to look at things with the simplicity of a child. He is a very busy little boy who tackles the world every day with renewed enthusiasm and his fathers optimism.
that's the family with exception to the 4 cats and 1 dog. Yes, there are more animals than humans in my house. On one hand I prefer animals to humans for the most part but on the other it is like having a houseful of toddlers. Exhausting. There are several other amazing people in my life whom I will introduce to you along the way but that's a start. With the basics you should be able to follow along with my ramblings and craziness.
March 04, 2005
Yet Another Test Post
. . . And this is yet another test of the emergency fix-a-design system. This is STILL only a test. The purpose here is to check the text wrap; basically, I am making sure the text wraps where it is supposed to instead of going on and on and on and into the sidebar. This should be adequate. Not to worry, you can delete these posts.
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