My oldest child has always had a problem asking for help. She would much rather handle situations on her own and will almost never ask for assistance. Mostly this stems from experiences she has had in school. You see, she is extremely intelligent. No, I am not being a preening parent; I am being honest. When she was in the 5th grade she was testing at a college sophomore level. In addition she is also an over achiever, always has been. She hates working on group projects and will always take the majority of the work load to ensure receiving an A on the project. As much as I understand her frustration there is also a need for her to be able to recognize personal limitations as well as recognizing that asking for help does not equal weakness or failing. This is our current struggle.
Last night she was told that her lack of ability to ask for help was a result of arrogance and she needed to humble herself back down to the level of the rest of us. Before anyone had a chance to respond or even digest the material that had been dished out, my husband spoke...
"I'm going to stop you right there. 95% of the time she is the most intellectual person in the room, you call it arrogance. I suppose if you are one of the people who aren't her equal in that it would be considered arrogance; but those who are her equal or above would consider it reality. She does not look down on people nor does she consider herself superior to people in any way, she never has. But if she recognizes that she can perform a function better than another person who's track record proves that point, how is that arrogant and not realistic? As far as humbling herself down to the rest of us, you are way out of line. We will not be taking her self confidence. Women in society today without self confidence are victims, she is not a victim and I have worked to hard to instill that in her for you to attempt to tell her its wrong. That arrogance, as you like to call it, may just save her ass someday. Every day that she wakes up and gets out of bed she is prey for someone out there simply because she is a woman. This arrogance that you speak of will give her the ability to kick his ass and that's just the way its going to stay. Now what we need to focus on is teaching her that asking for help doesn't mean she isn't capable nor does it mean she is a failure. That's where all of this is stemming from, not because she thinks she is better than anyone or has to much self confidence. She has a fear of failure and in that is afraid that by asking for help makes her less. That's what we are focusing on while keeping her self esteem in tact."
He gets it, he really gets it. I admit, I cried.
February 23, 2006
February 18, 2006
Addicted
It has been 12 years since the first time I laid eyes on my husband. He was amazing, still is. But this post isn't so much about him but the effects of him. When I met him I was in my early twenties (showing my age now), a single mother or 2 little girls and worked 14 hour days to make ends meet. It was hard but it was ok, I was making my way for my girls and proud of that. I was an intelligent, strong, independent woman.
My husband went out of town this past week for work. He was only gone for a total of 5 days, 4 nights. I knew I was going to miss him what I didn't know is that I would become completely incompetent. I didn't want to do anything, not clean the house, not cook; hell I didn't even want to put on decent clothing. I have been transformed from a strong, independent women to a sniffling, winy sissy. I sulked! For a week! He thinks this is funny, says he missed the hell out of me too. Hmph
I am not happy about this. You would figure I would have slept very well with him gone. No snoring to listen too, nobody rolling over and squishing me. But nope, my body has become addicted to snores and squishing. It cant sleep more than and hour or two at a time without the earth shattering sound of snores.
Bastard, not only do I love him with everything in me apparently I'm addicted to him too.
Hmph
My husband went out of town this past week for work. He was only gone for a total of 5 days, 4 nights. I knew I was going to miss him what I didn't know is that I would become completely incompetent. I didn't want to do anything, not clean the house, not cook; hell I didn't even want to put on decent clothing. I have been transformed from a strong, independent women to a sniffling, winy sissy. I sulked! For a week! He thinks this is funny, says he missed the hell out of me too. Hmph
I am not happy about this. You would figure I would have slept very well with him gone. No snoring to listen too, nobody rolling over and squishing me. But nope, my body has become addicted to snores and squishing. It cant sleep more than and hour or two at a time without the earth shattering sound of snores.
Bastard, not only do I love him with everything in me apparently I'm addicted to him too.
Hmph
February 14, 2006
V-Day
Well its Valentines Day and wouldn't you know the damn company my husband works for sent him out of town yesterday? They have been trying to ruin our Valentines Day for years, bastards. I got my revenge though :)
When my husband arrived in his destination (far far far away from Mayberry) last night he called. This is when I found out that his flight had been fine, but this is all that had been fine. The company had made arrangements for him to have a rental car and set him up in a hotel room. The rental car was nice, even has a GPS phone to give him directions for wherever he needs to go. The room is really nice, its not a room but a suite. Only problem is the only thing that was already paid for were his airplane tickets. The car had been reserved as well as the suite but he had to pay for it all. Now isn't that just a kick in the pants?! You know, I have always said my husband is the calm to my storm. He is the only thing that keeps this tornado from swirling. Well, he's not here. So I had the wonderful opportunity to call his HR manager and give him a piece of my mind this morning. You see, we wouldn't have minded all of this except we were told it was all paid for so we hadn't arranged to have that kind of money available. Hell, if we knew we were paying for it up front he surely wouldn't be paying that kind of price for a damn room. Those people must be smoking crack. Needless to say, I am supposed to go pick up a check from his work this afternoon to cover the cost of the hotel room and car that he already dished out. Good thing too, my kids have grown slightly fond of luxuries like...Food, electricity; that kind of thing.
On another note I did wake up to something very sweet. The realization that my daughter does love me or at least subconsciously recognizes that I am not the devil sent here to ruin her life. There were roses on the dining room table for me...From her. She really can be sweet when she wants to. Either that or she is planning to screw up really big while her father is out of town and she is hoping the roses will soften me up some since he isn't here to stop me from killing the child. I am choosing to believe it is the former. We shall see :)
Happy Valentine's Day!
When my husband arrived in his destination (far far far away from Mayberry) last night he called. This is when I found out that his flight had been fine, but this is all that had been fine. The company had made arrangements for him to have a rental car and set him up in a hotel room. The rental car was nice, even has a GPS phone to give him directions for wherever he needs to go. The room is really nice, its not a room but a suite. Only problem is the only thing that was already paid for were his airplane tickets. The car had been reserved as well as the suite but he had to pay for it all. Now isn't that just a kick in the pants?! You know, I have always said my husband is the calm to my storm. He is the only thing that keeps this tornado from swirling. Well, he's not here. So I had the wonderful opportunity to call his HR manager and give him a piece of my mind this morning. You see, we wouldn't have minded all of this except we were told it was all paid for so we hadn't arranged to have that kind of money available. Hell, if we knew we were paying for it up front he surely wouldn't be paying that kind of price for a damn room. Those people must be smoking crack. Needless to say, I am supposed to go pick up a check from his work this afternoon to cover the cost of the hotel room and car that he already dished out. Good thing too, my kids have grown slightly fond of luxuries like...Food, electricity; that kind of thing.
On another note I did wake up to something very sweet. The realization that my daughter does love me or at least subconsciously recognizes that I am not the devil sent here to ruin her life. There were roses on the dining room table for me...From her. She really can be sweet when she wants to. Either that or she is planning to screw up really big while her father is out of town and she is hoping the roses will soften me up some since he isn't here to stop me from killing the child. I am choosing to believe it is the former. We shall see :)
Happy Valentine's Day!
February 11, 2006
It's all up hill from here
"This is the end, my friend. The end"
isn't that how that old Pink Floyd song goes? It's been awhile so I don't remember. Well I just thought you all should know that the world is ending. Possibly today, if not today, definitely by the end of this weekend. Do you know how I know? I went grocery shopping yesterday. Yep, that's all I needed to know the end is near. The shelves were bare in most places. All the bread was gone, the milk, the meats were slim pickings and canned foods were almost none existent. There world is coming to an end and it is all starting right here in Mayberry. You should have seen the frenzy!! The store itself was packed, I didn't know that many people lived here in Mayberry. I walked in and went to grab a grocery cart and there wasn't one to be found. Seriously! We had to follow a shopper to their car and wait for them to unload their groceries to take possession of a cart.
Do you know what has caused this? I will tell you. Mayberry is located down south. Now, I am from the south but down here in Mayberry they consider me to be a northerner. Mayberry is experiencing a blizzard. It's all over now, pull out the chains for your tires. Lock the doors before the looting begins and grab your shotguns! We are getting a whole 2 - 4 inches of snow! 2 - 4 inches, its a damn blizzard I tell ya!!
isn't that how that old Pink Floyd song goes? It's been awhile so I don't remember. Well I just thought you all should know that the world is ending. Possibly today, if not today, definitely by the end of this weekend. Do you know how I know? I went grocery shopping yesterday. Yep, that's all I needed to know the end is near. The shelves were bare in most places. All the bread was gone, the milk, the meats were slim pickings and canned foods were almost none existent. There world is coming to an end and it is all starting right here in Mayberry. You should have seen the frenzy!! The store itself was packed, I didn't know that many people lived here in Mayberry. I walked in and went to grab a grocery cart and there wasn't one to be found. Seriously! We had to follow a shopper to their car and wait for them to unload their groceries to take possession of a cart.
Do you know what has caused this? I will tell you. Mayberry is located down south. Now, I am from the south but down here in Mayberry they consider me to be a northerner. Mayberry is experiencing a blizzard. It's all over now, pull out the chains for your tires. Lock the doors before the looting begins and grab your shotguns! We are getting a whole 2 - 4 inches of snow! 2 - 4 inches, its a damn blizzard I tell ya!!
February 03, 2006
Embracing my stupidity
I have been aware, ever since my daughter was old enough to have an opinion, that I am an idiot. My husband and I have accepted our role as idiot in our daughters life. What I wasn't prepared for was when we bought her a vehicle our status would deteriorate instantly. We are no longer idiots, we are down right retarded. At this point I should probably be grateful for the days that I am capable of tying my shoes and not drooling on myself. I'm not sure how she justifies our standing in her mind especially seen as we were apparently successfully at raising and incredibly intelligent child.
Our child has gotten herself into a bit of trouble and lost her driving privileges to and from school. After school we allow her to take her car to work or if she wants to go somewhere that's fine but she isn't allowed to drive back and forth to school. I know, sounds odd but I assure you it is for a reason that I wont go into here. Being the sympathetic mother that I try to be, I decide to be nice and drive her to school rather than make her face the humiliation of the bus. It was that day that I realized the deterioration of my standing in her eyes.
We had gotten into the car preparing to leave for school...
"Don't drive yet." My child says, very matter-of-factly.
"Why not?" I ask
"The car isn't warm yet," She says.
"I came out here 5 minutes ago and warmed it up (insert name)," I replied proceeding to give the car a little gas.
"Stop, don't do that!" she screams.
"don't do what?" I ask.
"don't give it gas like that, its not good for the car." rolling her eyes, letting me know how stupid I am.
"You do realize this is the pedal you press to drive, right?" I'm getting slightly sarcastic now.
"The car isn't warm, just wait for it to be ready to drive," is her response.
"Child, I have been driving longer than you have been breathing." can you tell I am irritated?
"And how many cars have you had break down on you?" she's getting very brave now.
"Actually none. And just to be sure we don't have this problem anymore make sure your alarm is set early tomorrow because your riding the bus." I say.
"Mom, no!" she is clearly not liking this idea.
"Embrace the bus (insert child's name). Feel the bus, become one with the bus." was all I had to say.
Needless to say, the rest of our trip was spent in silence. I am now not only the dumbest woman on the planet but I am also evil.
Our child has gotten herself into a bit of trouble and lost her driving privileges to and from school. After school we allow her to take her car to work or if she wants to go somewhere that's fine but she isn't allowed to drive back and forth to school. I know, sounds odd but I assure you it is for a reason that I wont go into here. Being the sympathetic mother that I try to be, I decide to be nice and drive her to school rather than make her face the humiliation of the bus. It was that day that I realized the deterioration of my standing in her eyes.
We had gotten into the car preparing to leave for school...
"Don't drive yet." My child says, very matter-of-factly.
"Why not?" I ask
"The car isn't warm yet," She says.
"I came out here 5 minutes ago and warmed it up (insert name)," I replied proceeding to give the car a little gas.
"Stop, don't do that!" she screams.
"don't do what?" I ask.
"don't give it gas like that, its not good for the car." rolling her eyes, letting me know how stupid I am.
"You do realize this is the pedal you press to drive, right?" I'm getting slightly sarcastic now.
"The car isn't warm, just wait for it to be ready to drive," is her response.
"Child, I have been driving longer than you have been breathing." can you tell I am irritated?
"And how many cars have you had break down on you?" she's getting very brave now.
"Actually none. And just to be sure we don't have this problem anymore make sure your alarm is set early tomorrow because your riding the bus." I say.
"Mom, no!" she is clearly not liking this idea.
"Embrace the bus (insert child's name). Feel the bus, become one with the bus." was all I had to say.
Needless to say, the rest of our trip was spent in silence. I am now not only the dumbest woman on the planet but I am also evil.
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