Cook Out

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day! It was pretty nice around here. We had originally planned to just get some much needed yard work done and spend the rest of the day relaxing. After about 3 1/2 hours in the yard my daughter changed those plans. Benefit of having a teenager, I suppose. She called and asked if she could bring home some of the kids she works with for a cookout. What the hell, I figured. So that meant a quick trip to the store so there would be food to actually feed these people. I'm not really sure what I was thinking, going to the grocery store for food, on memorial day?! I figured I would run in and grab a few things and run out. It didn't quite work out that way. They were sold out of chicken, baked beans, tomatoes, hot dog buns and steaks. I'm sure they were out of more items but those were the ones I wanted. I guess it turned out alright anyway, I ended up buying ribs which I wouldn't have bought if I could get chicken. I have to say, the ribs were damn good. So we ended up with ribs, burgers, hotdogs, pasta salad, baked beans (made my own), chips and corn on the cob. It really did turn out to be a lot of fun and the kids had a good time.

We have enough weirdos, thank you

Due to us living in the heart of the bible belt and the fact that my daughter has made the decision that she does not wish to be open regarding her beliefs, there are very few people aside from close friends who know my religious beliefs and practices. Not really a big issue for me, I respect my daughters privacy and there really isn't anyone I wish to tell about my beliefs. The people who matter to me already know. Although there are certain circumstances that arise on occasion where I would really love to open my mouth. One of which occurred yesterday.
My son had a baseball game and arriving early as we usually do I was sitting on the bleachers grabbing a bite to eat before I had to get in the dugout with the kids. As I was sitting there other parents moved to my area of the bleachers to discuss different things related to the team. I really do enjoy most of the parents we have but there are a few that just shouldn't be allowed to breed. Of course those are the few who chose to stay in my area after the conversations were over. I couldn't help but overhear what two in particular were discussing. One of them, lets call her J, had brought some books with her and was sharing them with another woman, we will call C. One of the books had something to do with "How psychic are you?" and they were discussing the "special" powers some people have. J began explaining that psychic abilities were something that everyone had but she found she was particularly gifted in that area, an old witch had told her so. It was because of that she was researching all of her special abilities. She then asked to see C's palm and told her she could feel what had happened in her life. She told her she had experienced a life of poverty (no shit, C lives in a trailer park and announces that regularly), she wasn't going to have any more children (God i hope not she has 5 and she is only 24), she was still searching for her one true love (imagine that, 5 children, 5 different fathers something she also announces regularly). Then J began informing her that C should check out the other book she had brought because there were ancient spells in there to help her find her one true love and bring him to her. At this point I realize that my entire body is beginning to convulse and I must leave the vicinity before I begin shouting at the ignorance. It was then that I heard the last I could hear before losing control of myself. J informed C that this particular book contained ancient secrets dating back to before Stonehenge. As my eyes began to roll back into my head and spittle began to run out of my mouth I steadied my convulsing body enough to stand and ran to the dugout. I so wanted to straighten things out. There was also a part of me that wanted to say "Pick a different belief system we have enough weirdos thank you.". I know mean, but damn do we really need anymore? I also wanted desperately to inform them that spells were not the religion just like praying wasn't the total of Christianity. And that spells were not the way to solve all of your earthly problems especially not your love issues. I have found though, that most people want an easy way out. They don't really want to deal with their own psychological issues so they think a spell will cure them. One day, one day I will straighten it all out.

Schools out for the Summer!

It is officially that time again. Time for bbq's, frozen drinks, bathing suits, pool parties, beach trips, sleeping in and the fun goes on.
The kids had their last day of school yesterday and I had the privilege of sleeping in until 8 this morning. I know, some of you are laughing saying 8 is not sleeping in. But when you are accustomed to getting up at 5 then 8 is sleeping in. I have so been looking forward to this day. Counting down with the kids on the calendar. As I awoke this morning I realized that this is not turning out how I had envisioned.
upon waking to the cat meowing and smacking me in the face, it was way past his time to go outside and play, I heard some strange noises coming from the living room. Stumbling out of bed I get dressed and head for coffee, I can handle anything with coffee, it makes it all better. Blindly reaching for the coffee pot my hand brushes through thin air, my eyes are open now. Where the hell is my coffee pot? Does someone wish to die?! It;s not in the machine, not on the counter, I'm becoming frantic..... I need coffee!!! My son, my precious little child comes into the kitchen and informs me that the coffee pot is on the table. I look and see it sitting there, next to the cat food bowl and it has water in it. "Why is it on the table?" I ask. "The cats were out of water and that has a water pourer on it so I wouldn't make a mess. See, I didn't spill any water mommy." He was now holding the sacred coffee pot demonstrating for me his blasphemous act. I am torn, kill the child for touching the scared holy coffee well or be happy he was trying to not make a mess that I would wake up and have to clean. I chose the latter and proceeded to make my coffee. The cats had become desperate now and were tag teaming my legs with very sharp claws so I figured I would let them outside, I had to wait for my coffee to brew anyway.
Realizing that I had woken to a strange noise I went in search of it. It is then that I found spongebob shrieking something on the TV. Where was my morning news? Why was it not quietly informing me of the weather? I suffered through the cartoon until my coffee was done figuring I could hibernate in my room with a cup of coffee and my computer until I woke up. As I proceed to get online I find someone is using my phone line. My son, my precious child whom I gave the breath of life too is NOW on the phone with some other 7 year old child discussing the cursed cartoon they are watching. This is all messed up, this is not how it was supposed to be.
This is going to be a long summer.

Yet another Kitty adventure

Sunday, after taking our company to the airport we spent the day lazing around. By 6pm I was in pajamas curled up on the sofa with Hubby watching TV. Around 8 it was starting to get dark so I went to call the cats inside. All of them showed up except one. I figured he was just running off somewhere playing and wasn't to concerned. He would be back soon and I would just keep an eye out for him at the back door. Around 8:30 he hadn't come back so I was beginning to get worried. I went back outside to call him. I thought I heard him crying but the door was still open to the house and the noise from the TV made it hard to hear. I came to shut the door and told my husband to put his shoes on I think something is wrong. Shutting the door I went back outside to call and listen for the direction of his cries. It sounded like it was coming from the side of the house so I jumped the fence and followed the sounds. Once I got around the side the cries became more frantic and I noticed the neighbors cat sitting on top of my car. As I started towards him he took off and I realized the cries were coming from above me. Looking up I found my missing cat sitting about 20 feet up a pine tree. He was stuck. About this time my husband came outside and saw what was going on. We both tried calling to him but he wasn't budging. You know me, that's my baby and he is stuck, the only logical thing to do is go up after him. My husband looked at me like I had lost my mind and reminded me that I was only wearing a t-shirt. "Shit, ok I'm going to go throw some clothes on. I will be right back, you stay right here with him." I said.
I guess he realized there was no use in trying to talk me out of this so as I went inside to change he began up the tree. When I came out he was about 15 feet up trying to get my cat. I'm freaking out yelling for him to come down and let me go but of course he isn't listening. The particular tree that my cat had chosen as his sanctuary was not a very sturdy one, about as big around as my thigh and my husband is no little guy. I just knew this tree was going to come down with him in it.
Anyway, we were not successful in saving my cat and I did not sleep well that night knowing I was in my nice comfy bed while he was stuck in a tree. My husband was convinced that he would come down by morning, he is a cat and cats can climb. I tried to explain to him that I knew my cat and he wasn't going to come down, this one isn't a climber. Of course he thought I was nuts. Come the next morning, guess what? My cat was still in the tree. My older cat was sitting under it and had been all night as if he was keeping guard.
I spent about an hour trying to talk him down which resulted in him doing a lot of crying, me being very worried and to top it off.......He peed on me. I suppose that was payback for leaving him up there all night.
After a lot of phone calls I found someone with a 20 foot ladder and Justice was kind enough to lend her truck and assistance and we finally saved my baby.
It's never a dull moment around here.

The vow of Silence

I tried! God knows I tried! I avoided conversation with him, hell I tried to avoid contact period. But damn it if he didn't cause me to lose it. It's not my fault though, you see my husband left me alone at the house with them to go get a bag of ice. Therefore it is my husbands fault hehehehhe
I had listened to all the insults he could throw at D (that's what we will call my friend) that I could stand. From things like....If I wanted to see a 60 yr old woman's body I would watch D get dressed (she's 30); she can talk when I say she can, so long as she listens to me all will be fine. Then of course the final one, the one that broke the camels back (remember hubby left me alone with them so its his fault).
D and I were in the kitchen having a conversation while I cooked dinner, ape boy (that's what we will call her boyfriend and I will explain later) was in the living room watching something stupid on TV. All of a sudden he yells in to her "I don't know what you just said but I'm sure I didn't like it".
"Well I guess it's good that this conversation was between her and I then, isn't it?" was my reply.
"Are you trying to say that it isn't any of my business?" he asked
"Wow, and I thought you were slow, good job catching that one." I responded
"Apparently you don't know how this works, everything about D is my business." he said
"Funny, that sounds a lot like her husband, look where that attitude got him." I said
At this point the phone rang, I couldn't have timed it better myself, it was D's estranged husband. I looked at the caller ID and said "Oh look, it's your twin now." and handed him the phone. When he had handed the phone of to D he turned back to our conversation.
"I am nothing like him, prime rib doesn't get tossed to the side." he said
"Oh now your prime rib. I bet you came up with that yourself because I have only spent 2 days with you and I would say your right down there with hot dogs. You do realize that hotdogs are the left over parts nobody wants? What I find even more fascinating though is that her husband thought the same and he was ranked in your category too." I continued to cook dinner
"I bet you just have a problem with the fact that I take control of things. I take care of everything. A man's job is to take the reigns with a woman or she will just cut his balls off." was his intelligent reply.
"Cut his balls off? Well if your prime rib why on earth would she do that? It seems to me that your hot dog may have a complex and your extremely insecure and perhaps that is why you find the need to overcompensate." I said
"I will admit I am a insecure person" The first intelligent thing out of his mouth
"Imagine that, and I have only known you a couple of days. How long you think it will take her to get tired of all the other ridiculous shit you spew? As far as I'm concerned you can continue to act like her husband. I don't like you anyway and that will only get you out the door quicker. So please, continue."
That was pretty much the end of the conversation and I have to say the rest of the evening was fairly pleasant. My husband even commented that he was tolerable later in the evening. Then I told him of the conversation that had transpired. He just laughed and said "I wondered how long you would hold up". Of course I told him it was his fault and he just laughed and said "of course it was." So see, he admitted it.
I have figured out what is wrong with ape boy though, it hit me last night. Have you ever watched one of those shows on the discovery channel about the evolution of man? You know how they show the different species? I think the one before us was Neanderthal. Well he looks like that, with the large jutted out forehead, really small eyes, jutted out chin and arms that are just disproportionately long. So, I figure the problem is that he didn't completely evolve. That has to be it.

Idiot

For those of you who have been reading you may remember that my best friend from back home has come to visit me. This is the first opportunity I have had to get online and make a post as they have gone to the city today to do the tourist thing. I am so enjoying seeing her again and the few conversations we have been able to have alone. She has brought her boyfriend with her for me to meet. I have heard so many wonderful things about him and God knows I am trying to see those things. But he is making it so difficult. I am having difficulty seeing past the rude, obnoxious and controlling behavior. She has just recently left her husband of 6 years and it seems to me that she has met a man just like him. Why do women find it ok to settle for someone who treats them with absolutely no respect? Not to mention why do they not even see the lack of respect? I have never been one to bite my tongue, I'm just not good at it and he is so pushing my limits of silence.
Let's give a couple of examples here, maybe I am overreacting so you tell me what you think........
1. We are eating lunch at a restaurant she takes a bite of an eclair and some of the cream gets on her lip. Idiot says "Wipe your mouth". She says "I'm working on it". Idiot says "Now your lip, that's it, that's a good girl."
2. She and I are going to go rent a movie for all of us to watch and let us have some girl time while the guys visit. Idiot says "I'm going to go with the girls. We don't want them getting something stupid and without supervision you know they aren't going to get anything any good."
3. We are riding in the car, I'm driving, she's in the passenger seat and idiot is in the back. He says to me "I'm out of cigarettes, give me one." Now we will just leave the rest of that conversation to your imagination and I will leave you with this question....Do you really think he got one?
4. We are watching television and they are side by side on the loves seat. Idiot stands up and says "I'm not comfortable here, you sit here and I'm going to sit where your sitting."
5. We are watching TV and a show comes on about women buying the right clothes for their body type. She is really into the show when he begins talking. She says "Just one sec baby, I want to hear about choosing the right bra size so they look right again." He says "They never said they could perform miracles, I'm sure they didn't make this show for you."
There are so many more but that gives enough for you all to give me an opinion before I take this into my own hands and just shoot him. I am in need of fertilizer for my roses anyway.

The Perfect Night

I had gotten up early to get started on yard work seen as it was supposed to rain that afternoon. My husband wasn't real thrilled about waking up that early but he knew we had things to get done. My husband took our daughter to work while I got started and when he returned he headed out to do his part. We spent the better part of the day out there, working in the yard. Once we were finished with the yard work we spent some time sitting on the back porch admiring our work and enjoying the cool breeze.
Around 5pm we were on the couch, drained from working in the sun all day. Realizing there was no way we could go down for a nap (kids, ya know) we decided we needed to do something to wake ourselves up. The next thing I know hubby is putting his shoes on.
"Where are you going?" I asked him.
"Outside, it's nice." He replied, and walked out the door. He was only out there a few moments before returning and telling me to put my shoes on.
"Why? I'm comfortable."
"Because it's pretty outside and the cool breeze will help you wake up." Was his answer. I really did not want to get off of the sofa, I wanted to be lazy and was secretly hoping my husband would take pity on my exhaustion and tell me to go take a nap, he would stay up with the kids. But, I got up and put my shoes on. We walked through the yard talking about the different trees and looking at what was blooming. On the back of our property we have an area that has never been cleared out. A long time ago we had cleared way for a path and cleared a small area for me to have rituals in. It was perfect, it gave me privacy with all of the growth completely surrounding me. As we were heading to the back area my husband pointed out that the path we had cut out was still there, surprising since I hadn't been back there since Yule. He suggested we go and see how the circle had faired and since I was already intrigued at the path still existing, I agreed. Once we were down the path we rounded the corner to the clearing and I saw a chair. Wondering what that was doing back there I picked up my step and saw the most amazing site. There was not one chair, there were two; in between them was a vase of flowers, the fire pit had been re-dug and the stones swept off. My altar had been set with my Goddess candle lit on it and there had been fire wood carried out and placed beside the fire pit. On one of the chairs was a card. "what is all of this?" I asked, extremely shocked. My family has never been able to pull a surprise on me.
"Well, tomorrow is our anniversary and I have to work and we are so broke we cant go do anything but I wanted to do something for you."
I was stunned. I hadn't expected anything. This may seem silly to most of you, but this was the best thing in the world. Most people, my husband included, seem to think that in order to do something for a special occasion it must be extravagant. But that's not me. Spending a lot of money means nothing to me, time and effort means everything. Something personal, something done with love, nothing makes me happier than that. So we sat out there and built our fire up and cuddled. Something I thought was really cool was when we were getting our little branches to make kindling my husband would say "bless you little tree". My husband doesn't practice the same way I do, but he knows this is important to me so he did what he could to be respectful of nature. That alone brought tears to my eyes. He also took that opportunity to teach our son respect for nature. We decided to sit out there and roast hotdogs over the fire and I have to tell you that was the best dinner I have ever eaten. No it wasn't fancy, I don't even like hotdogs normally. It wasn't extravagant, it didn't cost anything but it meant everything. Not only does he love and adore me, he "gets" me. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

Perhaps?

Yesterday I spent quite some time on the phone with Justice Our conversations are normally interesting but yesterday they were even more so. We started out a discussion regarding religion which we do quite often. Trying to solve the worlds problems, you know. I'm not sure how the conversation turned to the habits of women but it did. We were discussing the nature of humans in general and the differences in the interactions between women and men. I was saying, for example, men can have an argument or even a fight and hang out the next day. We as women, for the most part, cant do that. If we have some type of a blow out we aren't talking to that "bitch". God only knows how long we are going to hold this grudge, we're good at that and, as you men know, we forget nothing. Not to mention if you talk to most women they will tell you that they get along better with men than they do with women, they don't trust women in general. Well, we got to discussing the why's and wherefore's of that and you know we just couldn't leave it alone. After taking a step back to evaluate the relationships between women some things occurred to me. Now I recognize that I may be wrong, this is just a thought, maybe a different perspective.
Women, from childhood, are given the suggestion that they aren't good enough. As a child they see the airbrushed models on magazines, they see their mother's unhappy with her physical appearance fighting with diets, they see the television depicting what is perfection and what isn't. As we get older we strive to reach those unrealistic goals of perfection which does nothing more than beat at an already low self esteem. When we, as grown women, see another woman that we perceive as beautiful we tear her apart in our heads. We find every flaw we can possibly find and put a little tick on the scoreboard in our mind. Trust me men, we do this. The less flaws we can find in her the more we dislike her, she causes us to face our own insecurities. If you look at the cover of any woman's magazine you will see articles being advertised like "10 ways to please your man", "new beauty secrets", "What men really want". Most of which is bullshit but we have been buying into this for years. Another example...alot of times if a husband cheats on his wife and she finds out she goes to kick the other woman's ass, or wants to. Yes the other woman may bear some blame in this situation but in actuality he is the one who had a commitment to uphold with the wife. Why do we take blame off of the man and place it on the woman? Because women are the enemy, cant trust them. In reality women aren't the enemy, neither are men. If women were taught to bond closely and value the relationships with other women perhaps a lot of things wouldn't occur. A relationship with a man is amazing, my husband is my best friend. But who is going to understand the constant flood of emotions you are dealing with on an everyday basis better than someone else who deals with that as well? Women having friendships with other women are important. We need to stop fighting with each other because of our own insecurities and come together to cherish who we are. The grass is not always greener. Just because we see a woman who we believe is more beautiful than us doesn't make her perfect nor does it make us any less than we are.
I was faced with a situation that baffled me for a long time about a year ago. My husband has a good friend who happens to be single and was over visiting one evening. He had made a comment that the new girl at the gas station up the street was really pretty, he wouldn't mind getting to know her. I go to that gas station everyday and couldn't for the life of me figure out who this was. Once I realized who he was referring to my first thought was "you have got to be kidding!". She was not at all what I would have considered beautiful, I had ticked off tons of flaws. I remember driving away that day giving a chuckle to myself and thinking he needed glasses. It wasn't until I had given my reaction some thought and went back a few days later. I had decided I was going to take another look without ticking off flaws. When I went back I looked at her, I truly looked at her and she was pretty. It was then that I realized that as women we are looking for an image of unrealistic perfection yet men look at you and the beauty you have. They aren't looking for what we have been taught they are. They aren't looking for some unrealistic idea they are looking at the beauty of the person in front of them. This is not to say that all men will see a woman as beautiful, we all have different taste. But it is to say that what we have been told we need to be to attract a man is false. All we need to be is ourselves and stop attacking eachother. There is beauty to be found within each and every one of us. So I am making a conscious effort to stop the instinctual "ticking" in my head when I meet a woman. This isn't a competition and we have nothing to fear from each other, it is our own insecurities we fear.

Don't mess with the hair Part 2

Now, I have just seen my sweet innocent child turn into The Incredible Hulk, bounding across two seats to attack and my mind is reeling. There are so many different thoughts running through my head and the principal is pointing out to me how her attack was not in defense of herself but she was the aggressor. "He hit her first!" I point out. "Yes but he was walking away, the initial confrontation was over when your child went after him. Which is why they are both being suspended. He hit her and walked away, she chased after him and hit him several times." This man is looking at me as serious as he possibly can and acting as if we are dealing with a juvenile delinquent here. At this point I notice that my daughter is beginning to slump in her chair and put her hand up to cover her face. She has read my reaction and knows what is coming next and wishes to not be seen as she is embarrassed by her mother acting a fool for all to see. "So you mean to tell me that you want my child to sit there everyday and take someone walking by and hitting her on a regular basis? How do you know that the confrontation was over? How do you know that he wasn't walking back to his seat to set his books down so he could come back for a better hit?" I'm on fire, someone hold me back. "I think that's exaggerating a bit, don't you? This boy showed no signs of coming back to her. Those are the rules Mrs. (my name) they are set in place for a reason. We can not and will not condone violence of any kind." Was his reply. Was he nuts? Could he not see the claws growing out of my hands as I sat there in front of him? Could he not see that I was preparing for dinner and he was the appetizer? This man was no match for me! "Oh you condone violence all right. You condone violence against women. We are supposed to be mild meek little creatures for you to stomp to the ground when you get the inkling. You expect my daughter to sit there and take it? Well I got news for you, that's not how I raised her. She tried to get your help, you chose to ignore her. Well now you got me in your face and I promise you wont be ignoring me!" I am now standing leaning over this mans desk, finger in his face and I can hear this voice in my head screaming "Shut Up Ravyn!!". But no, it has begun, there is no shutting up the crazy neurotic mother bear when she escapes from her cage in my head. It doesn't matter if she is right or not, she is out and cares none. "She was taught she better not be caught throwing the first punch or antagonizing it but if someone hits her she damn well better defend herself. Let's face it, the only reason we are here is because she embarrassed one of your little football players who thought he could pick on a girl and never thought he would get his ass beat by one. She knows how to defend herself and she will defend herself everytime someone puts their hands on her and you wont do a damn thing about it. If you would like to take this all the way to the school board then the courts lets do this, you have no idea who your messing with. If you did nothing regarding this boy continuously hitting her you will do nothing about her defending herself." He proceeds to tell me how I have taken this out of context, he is only trying to do his job, he is not an encourager of abusing women. No, there is no reason for this to go that far blah, blah blah. "that's right because by you punishing my child for defending herself and not punishing him all the times he hit her is preferential treatment. I sure would hate to see the school board involved and you possibly loose one of your precious ball players for God knows how long while I drag this out as long as makes me happy." Now looking back on this situation I realize that I probably over reacted, maybe took things a little far but damn it I was mad. I couldn't help it. Needless to say, my daughter was not kicked off of the bus for two weeks. This boy never bothered her again, although, I believe it was probably because of being embarrassed he got his ass kicked by a girl rather than the principal telling him to leave her alone. Oh well, whatever works. The school thought I was a fruitcake, probably still does but we aren't in that area anymore so I wouldn't know. Oh there was talk all over about this crazy woman who jumped across the principals desk and kicked his ass. No, that's not what happened, but somewhere along the gossip line that's what it turned into.

Don't mess with the hair Part 1

The phone call came in the morning requesting my presence as soon as possible. I hadn't even showered, the kids had only left for school a short while and I was trying to enjoy coffee and some quiet time. Downing the rest of my coffee and unsure as to whether I was irritated at the loss of my quiet time I headed to the shower. I got dressed and headed to the school wondering why it was I had been summoned to the principals office. I found it very irritating that whenever this happens a part of me drops right back down to 13 years old and filled with dread over being sent to the principal. Upon reaching the school I shake off the dread and remember that he cant call my parents because I am the parent. That feels a little better so lets get this over with. I walk in the office to find my 13 yr old daughter sitting in the chair waiting for me to arrive. "You want to give me a heads up as to what I am about to hear in there?" I ask her.
"You remember that boy on the bus I have told you about? The one who always walks by and hits me on the head?" She says
"Uh-huh"
"Well yesterday my hair was looking really good mom and he came by and I told him not to touch me and he just smacked me in the head again."
"Ok" was all I could say.
"Well I'm tired of it so I got up and hit him back."
"Ok, so why are we here?" I ask
"Because they are kicking me off of the bus because I hit him."
Now I'm thinking no way in hell they are kicking my kid off of the bus because she defended herself. Granted her reasons might have been a little off but the rights activist in me is screaming NO WAY!
We get in the principals office and he proceeds to recount a similar story to hers and says she is being suspended from the bus for 2 weeks. "I don't think so" I say. He looks at me like I am nuts and quickly informs me that I don't have any say in this, its a school matter and they don't encourage fighting. First mistake, don't tell me I don't have any say. I know it isn't mature and I cant help it but I will drop right back down to that rebellious teenager and we're going to fight.
"So you mean to tell me your going to kick my kid off of the bus for defending herself? This boy has consistently walked by and smacked her for weeks, nobody has done shit about it and when she finally takes it upon herself to do the job that you and your staff were obviously incompetent of doing you are going to punish her?!" I'm on a roll here, somebody stop me!
He looks at me as if I have lost my mind and tells me that it didn't happen that way at all. That she shouldn't have handled the situation the way she did. At this point I am demanding to see the tape, I know they have tapes on the school busses now and I want to see it.
After a couple of calls and the bus driver being conveniently close we are able to retrieve it and I'm thinking I want some popcorn cause this is going to be good.
I see the boy walk up to her, she speaks to him and he smiles and smacks her in the head as he is walking past. All of her nicely done hair flies around. You see her sit there for a moment and push the hair out of her face. Then I see this child that I gave birth to, this sweet child, jump up onto the seat and fly across two more seats, tackling this child to the floor of the bus and proceed to knocking the shit out of him. Now I'm torn here, there is a part of me thinking this is not good, and then there is the other part of me screaming "that's my girl!".

Embarrassed? I dont think so

I am not really sure why a lot of women are embarrassed by it. For me it is something I am proud of, being a stay at home mom. Anyone who has dabbled at the job knows it has absolutely nothing to do with laziness. I remember a conversation with my dad over the Christmas holidays. He was saying that if I had a job we would bring in more money which in turn would allow us to visit more. My husband makes decent money, our bills are paid and there is some left over. Sometimes it is tight but we don't go without. I don't mind working and have for many years but when we got to the point where my income wasn't necessary to run the house we made the joint decision for me to stay home. We wanted one of us with our kids, we didn't have them for someone else to raise. There was even a point in time where I worked and my husband stayed home with them. What sparked this post was this article. There isn't a price you could put on staying at home with your kids. They also forgot the job description of psychologist. Anyone who has a teenager knows that particular job description is a must. I guess my point is how could anyone possibly think that the raising of the next generation, the ones who will eventually care for us, be something to be embarrassed about? What I think is something to be embarrassed about is if you have the opportunity and are staying home with your children and not paying attention to them. That should embarrass you, not raising them.
I like the idea of being paid a ton of money to stay home and raise my kids but to be honest there isn't any amount that would make it worth while. There isn't any dollar amount that you could offer me that would make it rewarding or even desirable. It already is all of those things but because I see it in my children's eyes everyday not because I am being paid. The value of my children's happiness, physical and mental health, their smiles, their trust....I cant put a price on that. Their is nothing wrong with a woman having a career but there is also nothing wrong with the woman's career being her children.

Unforgivable

I came across this article and I have to tell you, I am pissed off! I cannot believe this is being done. Not only are they taking absolute complete advantage of their authority over these children but they are endangering their lives. At what point did some idiot on capital hill decide it was ok to play lab rat with our nations children?! WTF is wrong with these people??!!! My next question is after deciding that it was ok to play lab rat with our kids why the fuck didn't anyone check up on it?
It was shown that there was a significantly higher death rate among the children who took the higher doses. Now people, we are not talking about testing them to see if a medication works; that would be bad enough. Not only were they testing to see if it would work but they didn't even have a clue as to what the doses should be. They were injecting these CHILDREN with toxins and GUESSING!!!!
I find this interesting : "Some foster children died during studies, but state or city agencies said they could find no records that any deaths were directly caused by experimental treatments." Well now isn't that convenient. Of course you couldn't find any correlation between the deaths and the poisons you were pumping into there little symptoms because that would make you liable!!!
"Wisconsin "has absolutely never allowed, nor would we even consider, any clinical experiments with the children in our foster care system," spokeswoman Stephanie Marquis said." well atleast someone has some sense left.
"A recent Institute of Medicine study concluded those Institutional Review Boards (IRBs) were often overwhelmed, dominated by scientists and not focused enough on patient protections." Did they really think they were concerned about the well being of these children? They were targeting the most innocent in our society and of the most innocent the ones who didn't have anyone there to have a voice for them. How low must you crawl?!
"Many studies that enlisted foster children involved early Phase I and Phase II research — the riskiest" Someone okayed this people!!!
If there is anything that could disturb me more it is that these asswipes actually used the defense that if the children were old enough, between the ages of 5 and 10, they were warned of the possible side effects and asked to consent to the study. WTF??!!! Is a 5 yr old big enough to decide whether he should drink beer? Is a 7yr old big enough to decide that he should carry a gun? NO!!!!! But those are the appropriate ages to decide whether they should risk their lives in some science experiment? I think not!
There is nothing more precious than the life of a child, absolutely nothing. And the simple fact that there are parents out there who don't recognize that is appalling. But that our own government not only doesn't recognize it but is willing to exploit them is unforgivable.

*I apologize for not linking but for some reason I am having serious issues with my linking capablities at the moment. Justice help!*

They got a taste

Last night we had another ballgame, they average about 2 per week. This one was different thought.......They won!!!! You should have seen us out there screaming like lunatics. I was so proud of them they did such an awesome job. The other team was the last up to bat and our kids knew they were winning. Once they heard that third out they knew they had won and came running in, jumping, screaming and hugging eachother. I was so happy for them, I have just been wanting them to get that first win in to lift their confidence. This week is going to be a killer, I hope the kids don't get burnt out. Because the last 4 games they were supposed to have were rained out it seems they are making them all up at once. We have practice tonight, then a game Friday night, a double header Saturday, a game Monday night, Tuesday night and we are back where we began. It is going to be a very long week but at least they got a taste of winning, they needed that

Times Change

It was 16 years ago. Both of us dating best friends which is how we met. Even with her being able to live the life of a normal teenager and I a new mother, we took to eachother instantly. Back then we thought we knew it all, there wasn't anything you could tell me. We were young, beautiful and dumber than hell. Both of our relationships were horrible and abusive. They didn't start that way, just seemed to progress there at the same time. Our friendship was immediate but the bond we formed grew so strong during that point of our lives. I married the man I was dating, she was smart enough to postpone her wedding day. She was there as my daughter grew, there when I had my second child, there when I was beat down and there when it was over. She was smart enough to leave her boyfriend, seeing that gave me the courage to follow suit. Once I made the decision there was no turning back, a weight was lifted off of me and my life began.
Once we had realized that we deserved better, we demanded better..... Our lives flipped around. We went out to meet it head on. There were crazy nights, wild men, drunken stupers, bar room fights, dancing on tables, taking over clubs, and many many hangovers. We were the girls your mother warned you about.
Times changed and we calmed down, to an extent. I met my husband and everything changed for me. He is my rock, I didn't need to go out seeking that attention anymore. I remember telling him that he had some how managed to bottle a tornado, because that's who I was. One year after I was married she and I went back out for a reminiscing of girls night out on the town. I took her to the club my husband and I used to frequent and it was there that she met one of my husbands friends. She ended up marrying him regardless of my pleading for her to reconsider. He was an ass, always had been, still is. But she was in love. It has been 10 years since that night and she has finally found the good sense to leave him. We haven't hung out in years, I have moved 800 miles away but we still keep in touch. Everytime we have talked on the phone, no matter how much time has gone by, it's as if we spoke just yesterday. We still have that bond. She has never been able to come and see me since she was married to the horses ass. But now, she is coming, she will be here in three weeks and I cant wait.
What I find amazing is that 2 husbands, 3 kids and 800 miles later we still connect. I'm not that crazy girl anymore. I don't start bar fights, don't get kicked out of clubs, don't carry a regular hangover and am at peace with myself and my life. She is too, we grew up but not apart. I am sure we will settle on the sofa with a bottle of wine and giggle about the stupid crazy shit we pulled back then, and all will be good. It's funny to look back on those times, it seems as if it were a million years ago. The people who know me now would probably find it hard to believe that was me, I guess I finally grew up.

No Show

Well I'm sure most of you are under the impression that I have been very busy with my father-in-law visiting and that's why I haven't been able to post. I must tell you that my house was finished on time and the walls ROCK! After busting my ass all week and rushing around Thursday finishing up we got a phone call around 8:30 pm. My father-in-law was not coming, he had hurt his neck and didn't want to drive. So there I stood, dripping sponge in hand, hair disheveled, panting, sweating, looking like a recently whipped slave. I couldn't decide whether I was irritated or not. I had just about killed myself getting this done and now he wasn't coming?! On the other hand, I know myself and had I not had that push to do it my walls would probably still be half painted. What a horrible way to be left standing, when everything in you wants to be irritable but you cant because you know you wouldn't have done it other wise. So now, I am the house Nazi! My children think I have lost it hehehe. I figure we are expecting visitors from out of town every weekend this month and I refuse to kill myself like that again. They set something down, I scream "Pick that up!". They get something to eat, I scream "Clean that up!". They walk in the door with muddy feet, I scream "Get the mop!". They think I am being completely unreasonable and I am taking a perverse pleasure in irritating the piss out of them.