Perhaps?

Yesterday I spent quite some time on the phone with Justice Our conversations are normally interesting but yesterday they were even more so. We started out a discussion regarding religion which we do quite often. Trying to solve the worlds problems, you know. I'm not sure how the conversation turned to the habits of women but it did. We were discussing the nature of humans in general and the differences in the interactions between women and men. I was saying, for example, men can have an argument or even a fight and hang out the next day. We as women, for the most part, cant do that. If we have some type of a blow out we aren't talking to that "bitch". God only knows how long we are going to hold this grudge, we're good at that and, as you men know, we forget nothing. Not to mention if you talk to most women they will tell you that they get along better with men than they do with women, they don't trust women in general. Well, we got to discussing the why's and wherefore's of that and you know we just couldn't leave it alone. After taking a step back to evaluate the relationships between women some things occurred to me. Now I recognize that I may be wrong, this is just a thought, maybe a different perspective.
Women, from childhood, are given the suggestion that they aren't good enough. As a child they see the airbrushed models on magazines, they see their mother's unhappy with her physical appearance fighting with diets, they see the television depicting what is perfection and what isn't. As we get older we strive to reach those unrealistic goals of perfection which does nothing more than beat at an already low self esteem. When we, as grown women, see another woman that we perceive as beautiful we tear her apart in our heads. We find every flaw we can possibly find and put a little tick on the scoreboard in our mind. Trust me men, we do this. The less flaws we can find in her the more we dislike her, she causes us to face our own insecurities. If you look at the cover of any woman's magazine you will see articles being advertised like "10 ways to please your man", "new beauty secrets", "What men really want". Most of which is bullshit but we have been buying into this for years. Another example...alot of times if a husband cheats on his wife and she finds out she goes to kick the other woman's ass, or wants to. Yes the other woman may bear some blame in this situation but in actuality he is the one who had a commitment to uphold with the wife. Why do we take blame off of the man and place it on the woman? Because women are the enemy, cant trust them. In reality women aren't the enemy, neither are men. If women were taught to bond closely and value the relationships with other women perhaps a lot of things wouldn't occur. A relationship with a man is amazing, my husband is my best friend. But who is going to understand the constant flood of emotions you are dealing with on an everyday basis better than someone else who deals with that as well? Women having friendships with other women are important. We need to stop fighting with each other because of our own insecurities and come together to cherish who we are. The grass is not always greener. Just because we see a woman who we believe is more beautiful than us doesn't make her perfect nor does it make us any less than we are.
I was faced with a situation that baffled me for a long time about a year ago. My husband has a good friend who happens to be single and was over visiting one evening. He had made a comment that the new girl at the gas station up the street was really pretty, he wouldn't mind getting to know her. I go to that gas station everyday and couldn't for the life of me figure out who this was. Once I realized who he was referring to my first thought was "you have got to be kidding!". She was not at all what I would have considered beautiful, I had ticked off tons of flaws. I remember driving away that day giving a chuckle to myself and thinking he needed glasses. It wasn't until I had given my reaction some thought and went back a few days later. I had decided I was going to take another look without ticking off flaws. When I went back I looked at her, I truly looked at her and she was pretty. It was then that I realized that as women we are looking for an image of unrealistic perfection yet men look at you and the beauty you have. They aren't looking for what we have been taught they are. They aren't looking for some unrealistic idea they are looking at the beauty of the person in front of them. This is not to say that all men will see a woman as beautiful, we all have different taste. But it is to say that what we have been told we need to be to attract a man is false. All we need to be is ourselves and stop attacking eachother. There is beauty to be found within each and every one of us. So I am making a conscious effort to stop the instinctual "ticking" in my head when I meet a woman. This isn't a competition and we have nothing to fear from each other, it is our own insecurities we fear.