Karma

Magic is a funny little thing. How many times have I said "don't play with things you don't understand?" How many times have I said "Do your research first." Some listen, others don't; you can always tell which ones paid attention to the advice by the results of their work or the chaos circling their lives afterwards.
There were 4 women who had a desire to heal. They wanted to do this together and for each other. Some of the women realized the depth of what they were about to do and knew the importance of pure thoughts in each of them. They called the other women together and held a pow-wow to discuss any unresolved issues that any might have. The two didn't know of any unresolved issues and had no reason to believe there were any but they wanted to be sure and take precautions before entering the circle. All of the women stated there weren't any issues that needed to be discussed and all claimed to understand the importance of discussing it if there were. Not all were being honest. They entered their circle with hearts and souls bared ready to discard that which was causing them pain; be it emotional, psychological or physical. They walked in complete trust.
For 4 weeks they held circle, 1 per week giving each woman their own individual healing. Helping to draw out the negativity and giving healing, helping her to banish whatever she needed to. The words were chosen carefully, the herbs were chosen carefully, the ritual was precise. They had taken great care so as not to encounter possible catastrophe. How could they have known they were about to cause each other more harm?
The one who wasn't honest, she harbored malicious thoughts towards some of the others. They lay there, open to her with complete trust. Did she push those thoughts aside to aide these women she once called friends? Was she even able to overcome the hate that had already begun to rule her life to help those women? The karmic backlash was cataclysmic. Unfortunately it wasn't just the one who paid the price. Each of the women had to pay, each of the women bore a responsibility. The price was different for each of the women all except the one they had in common....Their circle was destroyed. Their bond broken and their friendship was no more. In the end each of them had to heal alone, without the support they had so desperately wanted.
When all was said and done and time healed the wounds some of the women found each other once again. They had grown and learned and were able to rekindle their friendship and bring it to a tighter bond.
They learned a hard lesson about karma and about trust, but the lesson they did learn. Unfortunately not all were healed, not all grew and learned. For that one is alone and in the end the only destruction she was able to bring about was her own and her friendships with the others.

Quick Update

Well the children left and arrived at their grandparents on Saturday. Of course, I sat by the phone until I received that call saying they had arrived safely. After that call came in some strange things happened around here.
My husband, one of the most intelligent men I have ever known, has lost his civility. He has taken to noises more of a Neanderthal nature. All clothing has been left behind. I wouldn't be surprised if he headed out back with a spear in an attempt to collect dinner. Thank goodness the man had to work today, my body is sore in places no woman should be sore. A girl needs some recuperation time, you know. Anyway, we are doing well. I don't know how much posting will get done this week, hubby is taking vacation starting Wednesday. I have a feeling that when that happens I am no going to get a chance to get here again.
Yesterday I did get him to put on clothes long enough to do some shopping. It took quite a bit of persuasion but he agreed. I did something unthinkable yesterday. I bought a bathing suit. I haven't worn one in about 4 years but here's the kicker.....I haven't worn a bikini since I was 17. I now own another bikini. Big step! Wouldn't you know that for the first time since I was 17 I buy and am happy with the appearance of myself in a bikini and it rains. So there will be no sun bathing today, no swimming in the new pool. The Gods do have their sense of humor.

Fear will make you crazy

My heart broke for the people of London and anyone who has a loved one there. What a horrible, horrible tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I remember the fear of not being able to reach my cousin on 9/11. We didn't know if he was at the pentagon when the plane hit and it took forever to find out he was ok. I hate that anyone has to feel that kind of fear and terror.
Even though London is so far away from this little Mayberry town it had an effect. I was sad, afraid and angry for them. I started wondering if this was only the beginning of something bigger. Fear is such a crazy thing, especially in me who happens to be slightly psychotic at times. Less than 12 hours after hearing of London someone decided to drop off a bomb at our local grocery store. Here, in nowhere middle America, little as Mayberry. That was it, I was done. The children were being home schooled, never leaving my site again. They are supposed to go to their grandparents tomorrow for a week. I had convinced myself that even that wasn't safe. How could I protect them if I'm not close to them? They would be flying on a plane!!! We already know they aren't safe there! I had all kinds of crazy in my head.
My husband, bless him, tried rationalizing with me. Doesn't he know you cant rationalize with crazy? He was saying "Seriously baby, what are the chances that anything will happen to them? They are going to be fine." My response to this was "Well, lets think about this. If there is only a 1% chance of something bad happening and your kid is in that 1% do you really care that the odds were so low? If your the 1% does it really matter?" See, told ya, cant argue with crazy.
I have calmed down some and yes, my kids are going to their grandparents. I'm still scared shitless but I'm fighting off the crazy. I cant guarantee that there wont be more psychotic style posts but hey, I have to get it out somewhere.

When is enough enough?

I'm sure most of you have seen the news and reports regarding this .
I sit here once again wondering at what point will it stop? When is enough enough? The man that took this little girl had molested atleast 2 other times and was still loose. Why did this little girl have to go through this? I'm sure the man who took her had his own fucked up reasons but the only reason that comes to my mind is because our judicial system, once again, has failed the children of this country.
It has been proven over and over again that pedophiles can not be rehabilitated. This is not personal opinion, it is scientific fact. Yet we continuously release them to prey apon the most innocent and vulnerable of our society. This particular man had already spent over a decade in jail for molesting one child and was out on bail for molesting a second when he snatched the little girl. Can someone please tell me what the hell was that judge smoking?! How did he get bail??!!
I hate to sound completely redneck and say just shoot them all but, you know, that's the thought I'm having. I mean, lets think about this.....He spent a decade in jail for the first child he was caught molesting. A decade, I will put money that the child spent more than a decade paying for that crime. I bet the child is having issues in his life to this day because of that crime and the man served a decade. How long do you think this little girl is going to pay for his crime? What effect do you think this will have on her future?
At what point will this society stop giving chances to pedophiles? When will we take our childrens rights more seriously than the rights of those who prey on them? Everytime we hear these stories people are horrified and angry but shouldn't we expect this? Until something changes and the laws are made to protect our children this is going to happen again and again. It has happened again and again. The next could be my child, your child or the child of your best friend.
When is enough enough?

A pleasant surprise

About a month ago we were contacted by a local boxer rescue league. We are friends with many animal lovers and activists and have a wonderful relationship with our local vet. Somewhere in those relationships the rescue league had heard our name and history with our animals so they contacted us to see if maybe we could help them. We discussed it and decided the way that would be best for us would be to volunteer as a foster home. When Bandito passed away we hadn't given any thought to us being registered with the rescue league, that was furthest from our minds. Had we thought about it we would have contacted them and said take us off the list for a little while, we need some time.
I received a phone call from the director informing me they had a 1 yr old female that needed to get into foster ASAP. She was sick, due for surgery and the vet wouldn't be able to board her over the weekend. They didn't have any other foster homes available at the moment. It was a difficult decision, we are all still so sad over our own loss. I wasn't sure how I would react much less the rest of my family having her in our home so soon after our loss. Especially seen as her coloring was identical to Bandito's. I was worried but felt as if I couldn't let this little girl down, I had made a commitment and it wasn't her fault I had been absentminded in contacting the league. So I agreed.
Her name is Meg and she is absolutely precious. The fears that I had were completely unfounded. I was really surprised to find my family viewed the situation the same as I do. Bandito was such a good dog and took such wonderful care of us for so long, this is kind of our way of being able to continue to give back. Meg was kept outside and never shown any attention. She has a skin condition from birth that has never been treated. The family that owned her didn't want to deal with it and because of it never pet her, loved her. They ignored her. She is so starved for affection which we have been more than happy to give to her. Because she hasn't really had any human contact she is short in the manners section. We have been working with her and after only 2 days she has come so far. She enjoys us teaching her and just seems to soak in any and all attention we can give to her. She really is very bright, she has learned so many commands in such a short time. Hell, she has only had 1 accident in the house and she has never been inside a house before. I am glad we never thought to call the rescue and pull off of the list. We would have missed this wonderful opportunity and this precious animal.
She needs love and we needed to give it. It's going to work out just fine.