MINE!

I was talking to a good friend of mine yesterday, discussing different topics from news to children. Somehow we got on the subject of our oldest children. You see, I have a daughter who goes off to college in 2 years, hers goes off to college in 3. "You know what they have a college, don't you?" I say
"What do you mean?" she asks.
"Frat parties"
That comment alone caused us both to come to the conclusion that our children are NOT attending college. They can be homeschooled. Yea, that's it. She will be safe then. Because you know I already have it in my head that there is some horrible man just waiting for my baby girl to enroll in college. He's waiting for her, I just know he is. He is going to entice my sweet innocent little girl to drink and party and God only knows what else. I'm not going to think about it, I'm not, I'm not going to do it. I don't want to go to jail.
Then, of course, we have the whole "Senior Trip" thing looming closer and closer. My daughter really believes she is going on one. Poor thing. She will be lucky if she makes it to the stop sign for her senior trip. Because, well, we wont even go into what is in my head to happen on that! She says she is going to Cancun LOL. Lost her mind she has. Of course, I informed her she was not going anywhere. "I will be 18 mom, you cant really stop me." She thinks she is smart, she thinks she can outwit me. "Yes, you may be 18 and legally I may not be able to stop you but do you think that will really hold me back? Or better yet, you can go. Because I'm going with you." I'm the mom, lived longer, way smarter. "You cannot go on a senior trip with me!" she says "Watch me." was my reply. She is never leaving the house again, never. To many people waiting to prey on her, I'm putting bars on the windows tomorrow. Who the hell said she could grow up anyway?! That wasn't in the contract, I didn't agree to this. And nobody prepared me at all for this. I heard about the terrible 2's, about teenagerdom, but nobody said you have to let them go and here is how you do that. Well I say NO! I carried her in my body for 9 months, went through 12 hours of hard labor to get her fat head out. Spent many a sleepless night taking care of her, worrying about her. Clothing her, feeding her, teaching her, nurturing her, loving her. So she is mine, damn it! I claim her and by all rights I can say "hell no" to her right to grow up! I outrank her, she cannot grow up anymore.