I have come to understand the plan of my children. They are truly trying to kill me but they have no mercy in their hearts. They have decided to make it a slow and painful death. One that may take many many years, patient little people they are. I have had many revelations within the past few weeks all of which lead to the same thing, they are growing up. My oldest is almost grown. How in the hell has this happened?? I am NOT old enough to have to deal with this yet.
Everytime I successfully forget their growth there is the oldest to thrust it in my face at every opportunity....
"Mom, I need to order my high school ring."
"Mom, we need to go to college night"
"Mom, I found some new college scholarships"
"Mom I want to go to another country."
Yes, the last one is her newest way to plunge the knife straight into my heart and twist. I realize that my daughter is going to leave and go off to college. I am not happy with the idea of her being out there alone without me and all the perverts just waiting to prey on her. So yes, there is a good chance I'm going to be a bit crazy. But now, now she wants to go across the ocean. Far, far away! How can I get to her there? How in the hell do I protect my baby across a friggin ocean?!
Ever since she was a little girl she has wanted to go to Greece. She has researched it, dreamed of it ever since she was old enough to know what it is. Now her school is planning a trip the summer she graduates. You know what the worse part is? I recognize what a good idea it is, I recognize how wonderful the opportunity is. Have you any idea the arguments that is creating in my head?! I want her to have this opportunity, I want her to have this experience. But across the ocean????
Please, just shoot me in the head now. Show some compassion for a mother with a knife twisting in her heart. I told my husband yesterday that I was turning in my resignation, I'm not being a mom anymore. It's just to hard and the God's think it is funny that my daughter is ready to graduate high school and they are still with holding my instruction packet on raising children. I'm going blind here folks, I have no instructions, no children's "owners manual", nothing!
Oh God, I need valium; lots and lots.
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2 comments:
aaaww, poor Raven, I know how you feel. It is so hard to let our kids go. It is the mother lion in us. We want to be there to stick our claws into anyone or anything that comes even close to harming them. Sadly we must let them walk a path of their own. Try not to stress to much. I am sure you have done a good job raising her and she will remember those lessons when the time comes. Just look at it this way. Some times when they leave home, they mulitply and come back. That is what happened to me. I not only have my daughter back home, she brought a baby and a boy friend. Ekkkk. Just be sure and tell your daughter you want her to bring home is a nice Goddess statue from Greece :)
Just want to second that: "...you have done a good job raising her and she will remember those lessons when the time comes."
But, of course, I also got your back, sistah. I'll take the night shift outside her padded room if you want.
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