Through Ravyn's Eyes

To grown for mom

2007-11-06T05:55:00.000-08:00

We have another Birthday coming up, this time it is my youngest baby's day. I cant believe that after tomorrow all of my children will be in double digits. I tried to talk the child into skipping tomorrow but he was having none of it. I got his school pictures back yesterday, it doesn't even look like him. I have no clue who that kid is but it doesn't even resemble mine. That kid looks like he is only a couple months from pimples and hair on his butt. Mine is just a baby.

You know, i feel as if i am just giving and giving and not receiving a damn thing. We started the deodorant this year, i gave in even though i still think its retarded. Don't get me wrong, if he stunk i would be the first one at the store but he doesn't, he still smells like a little boy. So i gave on that. Then he had to have his own "bathroom space". I am the only female currently living in my home; doesn't that automatically resign any and all bathroom mirrors to me? I gave on that. Then there was the whole "i need some cologne because I'm a man and that's man stuff". I gave on that, OK so i also informed him that getting a job was man stuff, but i bought the damn cologne. The list just keeps growing.

My oldest is grown an gone, moved out, left her mom. Putting her face in commercials so now i have thousands more perverts to worry about. My youngest has one foot out the door. What is in this for me? Not extra kisses that's for sure.

I'm thinking mom needs a little extra snuggle time here.

Not so sweet 16

2007-11-02T05:11:00.000-07:00

It was supposed to be a big day. Something you plan for, prep for, a mile marker in life. We should have been excited and a little nervous. I pictured us taking her to take the test, she was never one to let nerves get the best of her. More a "live in the moment" kinda girl. She would have been excited though, we all are on this day. Would she have passed? Would we be in the market for another new car? What kind would she have wanted? Would we have been able to get it for her?
It normally doesn't get to me like this. We bake a cake, share stories about her, sing her happy birthday. It is a little sad but we have accepted the loss. This year though, I'm not doing so good. It was supposed to be a big day.
She would have been 16 yesterday.
It hurts so bad

Billy got it right

2007-08-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

She's gotta do what she's gotta do
And i've gotta like it or not
She's got dreams to big for this town
Ande she's gotta give 'em a shot
Whatever they are

Looks like she's all ready to leave
Nothing left to pack
There ain't no room for me in that car
Even if she asked me to tag along
God i gotta be strong

She's at the startin' line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waitin' on my blessings before she hits that open road
Baby get ready
Get set
Dont go

She says things are fallen into place
Feels like they're fallin apart
I painted this big ole smile on my face
To hide my broken heart
If only she knew
This is where i dont say what i want so bad to say

This is where i want to but i wont get in the way
Of her and her dreams
And spreadin' her wings

She's at the startin' line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waitin' on my blessings before she hits that open road
Baby get ready
Get set
Please dont go

Dont go
Dont go
She's gotta do what shes gotta do
She's gotta do what shes gotta do

"Billy Ray Cyrus"

All Grown Up

2007-06-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

In the past you may have read my entries of fear about being the parent of an adult child. I was terrified. I have to say, its not so bad. Our oldest is 18 and hasn't lived here for several months now. I was afraid I wouldn't cope well or be able to function but that just hasn't been the case. Actually, I kinda like it. Don't get me wrong, I still miss her but things have changed. Since she has moved out she has undergone a miraculous transition. She actually misses me too! I speak with her everyday at least once on the phone, because she has called me! She looks forward to coming to visit and wants to spend time with me. I guess I'm not so retarded after all.

Moving out on her own has brought new realizations for her. Things like, food is expensive and $200 is not a realistic price for a dress. She calls me the other night and asks what I'm having for dinner so I tell her. There is silence for a moment on the other end of the phone and I ask if she is OK. She says "Yeah, I'm just remembering the taste of that. No matter how hard I try I cant get these pretzels to taste like that." I ask if the pretzels are her dinner and she confirms that they are. I cant help but stifle a giggle remembering the days of that age where we lived off of ramen noodles and popcorn. When I ask her if she needs money she says no. She has grown to be quite independent.

It still amazes me sometimes, this is the same child who would $20 me to death. The same child who thought I was a horrible parent for not buying $25 steaks on a regular basis, the very same child who thought $100 was not an outrageous amount for me to spend for her to have a designer pair of tennis shoes every 3 months. She tells me about how she saved money here and budgeted there. I guess maybe she did learn something. I watch her in how she conducts her life and cant help but be proud. She goes to work and gives her all, studies hard in school and makes time for her friends. She has really grown up to be an amazing young woman and somehow, somewhere I played a part in that.

A New Experience

2007-06-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

Life is about the experience. At least that's the thought that creeps into your mind when you get to my age. The experiences you have are what shape you as a person. I happen to like who i am as a person and tend to enjoy the ride my experiences have brought to me thus far. Of course, there are some I'm not real fond of but over all i don't guess i can complain. There was one thing i had wanted to experience for quite some time, yet being a chicken shit i always talked myself out of it. I would think "I really want to do this." then think some more to conclude "Nah, maybe not." Last Saturday night i decided, what the hell. I'm not going to think about it, I'm just going to go. No, I'm not talking about anything as extreme as sky diving. It's actually pretty common, but it involves something I'm not real fond of....Needles. Yes, a woman who has given birth 3 times fears something as silly as a needle.

So as we arrive at the location and i pick out what it is i want, my stomach starts turning. I know if i can get in the room and get started i wont stop, we are not going to have me partially marked here, I'm way to hard headed for that. They introduce me to who will be doing the artwork and all i can do is chuckle to myself. He cant be much older than my own child. Is his attention span even long enough to focus on this task? 15 years ago i probably would have batted my eyes thinking he is absolutely precious, now all i can do is close my eyes and hope his fine motor skills are fully formed.

There i sit on an arm rest, my feet planted firmly in a chair, pants undone, bent over holding my knees. The young man in charge of my experience was precious and tried making jokes to ease my tension.
"So, I'm going to be your first, huh?" He says. I'm thinking that probably happened around the time you were born, of course i keep that thought to myself. He is in charge of the needle you know.
"Yes, i suppose you are. Be gentle." See, i can joke back. Even though this conversation seems very odd considering I'm thinking he is almost close enough in age to have come from my body. I'm finding myself having to hold back asking the questions you would ask your kid. Things like "Did you use soap?", "Don't forget your ears. Did you wash them?"

Thank God that about the time he complemented my underwear he stuck that damn needle in my back. I couldn't do anything more than hold my breath. It wasn't really that bad but the idea of that needle chugging along my back made me nervous as hell. Not to mention i wasn't sure of his attention span and didn't want to offer any distraction. It wasn't until he hit my tailbone i began to think this was probably the dumbest idea i have had in a long time. Now i am not going to lie to you people, it hurt like hell. Was it as bad as giving birth? No! But it was not comfortable. It was less than an hour when he informed me we were all done. I'm thinking, "Oh, shit. He has forgotten some. I knew he was to young to focus for any length of time." I look in the mirror to confirm my suspicion. Nope, he got it all and damn if it doesn't look good. I could hug this kid.

I'm feeling pretty proud of myself when I walk out of there. So I do what any grown woman of my age would do.
I call my mom. (giggle)

Patience

2007-02-18T04:36:00.000-08:00

Growing up I clearly remember my mother saying, on a regular basis, "patience is a virtue". For something that was supposed to be a virtue I don't ever remember feeling any good connotation regarding the remark. It was normally said when there was something I felt I just had to have, be it a material item or a situation resolution. This is not to say that whatever the situation I was being denied was not properly done so, just that the saying never seemed to be expressing a virtue as a positive thing. I don't ever remember wishing for this virtue nor do I remember feeling any remorse for my lack there of.

As I grew older, I reconciled myself with the thought that this was a virtue I never seemed to receive from the powers that be. I remember as I grew older, and my mouth more flexible, when my mother would pose her phrase to me, I would respond with, "and one I don't have". It seemed appropriate in my adolescent mind. It wasn't until I was well into comfortable womanhood that I decided my lack of this virtue wasn't such a bad thing. Once at a point in my life that I had begun to climb the mountain of self awareness and realized I liked the person looking back at me, I turned this negative trait into one I was able to view as a positive. I was fond of the fact that I had become a straight forward kind of person. Having no problem speaking my mind, handling any crisis situation, and the ability to nip any possible problems in the bud; my lack of patience seemed to leave behind a person I liked. I found that having a lack of patience enabled me to react appropriately in given situations immediately before things grew out of control without hesitation. Perhaps this trait isn't such a virtue after all. The adolescent Ravyn wanted to throw in a "so put that in your pipe and smoke it".

As time once again has passed and left epiphanies in its wake, as it always seems to do. I have come to realize that perhaps this issue of mine is a double edged sword. I still enjoy and take pride in the strong woman able to tackle any situation with a level head and clear mind, yet there seems to be a down side to this. I have found that my lack of patience doesn't just have an effect in situations that require immediate attention, it seems to rear its head in situations that require cool down time as well. Here is where I seem to have my trouble. For example, lets say we have had a disagreement that happens to be something I am absolutely passionate about. Now lets say you are a person extremely close to me and I feel so strongly about said subject that I find it almost dangerous that you can not see the potential disaster. Here, at a point where any common sense would tell you to take a time out, I have difficulty. My lack of patience makes it difficult for me to walk away from a situation I feel a sense of urgency to reconcile and wait until cooler heads prevail. Now don't get me wrong, my rational mind completely recognizes that there is no sense in continuing a conversation when emotions have carried the rational mind away. I just cant seem to let that rational mind lead the way. Instead, I battle for the elusive virtue I seem to have lived so long without.

So here I sit, baffled to maintain the traits I am fond of while gaining the virtue I continue to search for. So I ask you...How do you find a virtue you have never had? And once found, how do you balance the traits you have grown so fond of?

Tagged!

2007-01-28T21:56:00.000-08:00

I hate these things, truly i do. The only reason i am doing this is because my former best good friend, Justice, has tagged me. I have a feeling she just will not let this rest until i do it. OK Justice, it is done!
A - Available or Single? Umm what is the difference in that choice? I pick neither.
B - Best Friend? S is the initial and that's all your getting.
C - Cake or Pie? Hmmm depends on the cake or pie. Is it smothered in chocolate or caramel? Whichever is will win
D - Drink of Choice? Probably Iced Tea
E - Essential Item? Car Keys, i tend to lose them regularly
F - Favorite Color? Purple
G - Gummi Bears or Worms? If i have to pick one, worms. But can i just have chocolate or caramel?
H - Hometown? Virginia Beach
I - Indulgence? Chocolate or caramel...I'm feeling a trend here.
J - January or February? Ewww in Costa Rica maybe. Lets try June, July or August.
K - Kids and Names? Kids yup but their names are mine and mine alone
L - Life is incomplete without? Self honesty
M - Marriage Date? May 15 a long long time ago
N - Number of Siblings? 5
O - Oranges or Apples? Can i pick melon?
P - Phobias or Fears? Stupid people, they scare me i cant help it.
Q - Favorite Quote? "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Emerson
R - Reason to smile? Waking up
S - Season? Spring or summer
T - Tag 3 people? nope not gonna do it
U - Unknown fact about me? I secretly lust after Johnny Depp. Well its unknown to him, damn it!
V - Vegetable you hate? Collard greens
W - Worst Habit? Smoking....or not writing in my blog lately
X - X-Rays you've had? There is no way i can remember them all
Y - Your favorite food? Caramel or Chocolate hehehe
Z - Zodiac? Sagittarius

Vote or not to Vote

2006-11-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

Voting time is upon us once again. I remember my grandmother saying "voting is the most important thing you can do as a citizen". To be honest with you, it isn't something I jump up and down looking forward to. I don't feel a great sense of pride that I have done something important. Actually, by the time the big day arrives I feel a bit beat up and bullied. There is almost a sense of relief that it is finally over. I no longer have to be bombarded with attack ads everywhere I turn. I know the "experts" say people hate them but they work so they wont be going away. It was this my husband and I were discussing the other night that brought me to this post. I was explaining to him that I understood they have to show you all the bad points of their opponent but it has gotten to the point that nobody talks about what they want to do for you and why they think they are qualified to do it. They spend millions of dollars to slaughter their opponent in ads. Millions....Think about that. Mayberry here happens to located in one of what they are calling the "deciding states" so we are bombarded with them. The news report last week announced that according to financial reports one of the candidates has spent 14 million dollars on advertising while the other has only spent 11 million. Why would any sane person spend 11 - 14 million dollars to obtain a job that only pays around 250,00? There's a reason, think about it.
It occurred to me the other night with all the slaughter ads bombarding me that they are only trying to prove to us that they are the better person to vote on our behalf. They want to represent our opinions and needs, look how bad the other guy voted, he doesn't care about you but I do. Blah blah blah. I am so tired of the "look how he voted in the past" crap. Really, when it all comes down to it, can we blame them for their past voting behavior? Hear me out...These people who are voting on our behalf, caring for our needs; are they really to blame for their votes? I ask this because when was the last time anyone asked what it is we wanted anyway? When did we really have a say? Congress and Senate meet regularly to vote on laws for our country but do we have any say in those laws? Not really. Why is that? There isn't a person in this country who doesn't believe to some extent that politicians are crooked. You have tons and tons of lobbyist who are doing everything they can to get their issues through. You have laws repeatedly piggybacked that the public hears nothing about. Why do the few who are rarely affected by the laws they pass (rich) get to decide the fate of the rest of us? When our community wants to make a major change the public votes on it. Why not the country? Why cant we have voting stations set up? My husband says it would cost to much money. Why cant it be set up they same way jury duty is so all the people manning the stations are volunteers? Pay the few it would take to be in charge and have citizens man it. Do we really need to pay $10,000 for a hammer? Stations could be opened quarterly or semi-annually and the public could vote on the major laws for their land. The government has plenty of websites, they could post the upcoming legislation on the sites for the public to download and review. Not to mention, if you believe your senator or congressman has done a good job vote for him or her to get a raise. If they didn't get the vote they don't get the raise. Wouldn't that be better than them voting themselves annual raises while the minimum wage hasn't been raised in like 15 years? What would they really know about living on minimum wage? Not one of them lives on anything close to minimum wage and lets be honest here...I bet they don't hang out with the kind of people who do. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it would be perfect and covered in rainbows, there would be problems. But wouldn't it be a more fair society where the rich weren't constantly getting richer at the expense of the poor man? Lobbyists couldn't buy us all.
Just thinking.

Priorities

2006-08-27T11:15:00.000-07:00

As parents, my husband and I are extremely active in the lives of our children. We coach ball, attend games, run a scout den and the list goes on. There are a lot of people, who don't know us, in the community who look down upon us when we first arrive. Pulling up in our 1993 Nissan Sentra, with its rusted out hood, trunk that doesn't latch and beat up door panels. No, its not a nice car but it runs and does what we need it to do. I cant help but smile and remember what I left to get here.
Growing up, my maternal grandmother had a butler and a cook. Needless to say she never wanted for a thing and was accustomed to a certain way of life. I remember her saying "It's just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one." My Grandfather was not rich but he made enough to keep her comfortable. She had a set of standards and expectations for her life and my grandfather worked well through his 70's ensuring that she had it. By the time he retired he received 5 retirement checks. Grandma was comfortable.
My mother received the ideas of life passed down from my grandmother. She has always said "I only date a man who can afford me." Mom didn't do yard work, she didn't like to clean and she surely didn't work. "That's what we pay people for." is what she would say when I was growing up. We had a maid who came in twice a week.
My fathers childhood was a little different. His family is where I get my Native American heritage from. He grew up very poor. He never owned a piece of clothing that wasn't hand made by my grandmother or passed down from the reservation until he was a grown man and could buy it himself. His father was a fisherman by trade and in the winter months when there wasn't very much work they went to the reservation for food. I remember this. I also remember my dad putting himself through college. I remember him working as a bartender to pay his tuition. When he finished with his degree he decided to further his education. After many years of part time college, supporting a new family and paying child support on me; he succeeded. My father is very financially comfortable now. He averages 4 trips a year around the world, just because.
My mother remarried a man "who could afford her" when I was 4 1/2. Growing up we never lived in a house under 3000 square feet and that was "beneath us". We had nice cars, expensive jewelry, nice clothes. We didn't have get-togethers, we "entertained". We kept up with the Jones's. In return, we had no self esteem, no sense of reality, and an altered sense of how the world worked. You were judged by what you had and someone always had more.
Growing up, I hob-nobbed with senators and dined with billionaires. "Entertained" the rich and partied with the poor. I have been offered "sanctuary" by one of the richest families in this country. I have vacationed in Martha's Vineyard. I have been to foreign countries on shopping sprees. I slept with a rich man and made passionate love to a poor man.
I saw the people from that life and it isn't one I want for myself or my family. I want my children strong because of who they are not what they have. We have a nice home, a car that runs, food on the table and more love than I ever witnessed growing up. We aren't perfect but we are happier than I ever knew existed. Everything we have, we earned and to be honest...I wouldn't care if we didn't have it anymore.

When our daughter died my grandparents couldn't buy her back. My dad couldn't buy her back. There was only one thing that mattered, only one single importance and it had absolutely nothing to do with money and everything to do with eachother.

Valium, morphine..Can I stock up?

2006-08-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

Here lately a new form of neurosis has begun. Not that I'm not accustomed to being neurotic, I am. I knew this was coming, figured it wouldn't be to easy but I didn't expect the lack of ability to control it. I can be doing something so very normal, driving down the road for example, absolutely nothing to do with the cause of my neurosis; and all of a sudden...WHAM! It just hits me, my mind goes into overdrive. There is no pause button, no chance to regain composure. Just me sitting there in full blown crazy. I suppose it would be easier if I just wrote what the cause was, which I'm going to just bear with me. You see, there is this crazy part of my brain that writing it out makes it so real for. Almost like if I don't admit it then it will go away. That crazy childhood game of "I cant see you so you cant see me".

Take a deep breath, here it comes.

In less than 6 months..

I will be...

The parent of an adult child.

My baby girl, my first born will be 18 years old. It is to a big deal!! No, I don't much care about the getting older thing. Hell, I use that to my advantage. "I said what? No, I don't remember saying that's ok. What did you expect I'm old, memory's going." The problem here is that she is just a baby! No really, you don't understand. I remember 18, remember thinking I was grown. But she is just a baby!! She is not ready for that horrible cruel world out there and I'm not ready to send her to it, damn it!
We were sitting in the kitchen the other day having a nice normal family discussion when the little ass announces that she already has 3 friends lined up who are going to go clubbing with her on her 18th birthday. She really thinks she is going clubbing on her birthday. Cute isn't she. She is staying home and having ice cream and cake. I'm not going to do this well, this isn't working for me. We have enough financial worries with sending the child to college this year (which I am also not real happy about) without having to worry about bail money. 18 is not grown, she will be out at some club..Just a baby; and some grown man is going to want to dance and put his hands on her. He knows she is just a baby but being the pervert he is, does not care! (This is where the bail money comes in)
I hear jail isn't so bad. 3 meals a day, no real responsibility. Maybe I could even go in on an insanity plea. Get a nice comfy bed in a psych ward in some state institution. Some really good drugs that make me drool on myself.
Anyone?

What was I thinking?

2006-06-14T05:51:00.000-07:00

I thought when the kids were out of school for summer we get a little break too. It hasn't quite worked that way this year. Don't get me wrong, things are extremely good, but busy as hell. We finally refinanced the house, took forever and cost me some gray hair but it is done. We were able to get some money back. So what do I decide we should do? Nope, doesn't have anything to do with Aruba or Jamaica. No cabana boy bringing me something with an umbrella in it. No, no, I want home improvements! Someone beat me in the head next time and send me some place warm with drinks that have little umbrellas. We tore out the old fence and are putting up a new and bigger fenced in area so we can put in a pool. I had two trees taken out, let me rephrase that, I had two trees cut down. To save money I told the guy to just put them on the ground, don't haul it off or clean it up. Now I'm Ravyn, the friggin lumber jack. I have spent the last week hauling limbs, cutting the trunk and burning the stuff; I'm only half way done. After this is done we are building a stone patio that runs 3/4 or the back of the house. It is going to be gorgeous! We designed it to have a built in fire pit and a stone water fall. Yes, this too we are doing ourselves. The comes the pool. I don't even want to know what I have gotten myself into here. Hubby wants to get a hot tub after all this. The way my body is protesting I'm thinking I need the damn hot tub now and screw the rest of it.

Riding the wave of conspiracy

2006-05-01T05:09:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems I have survived the weekend. My body is sore and exhausted but apparently I am still breathing. Not only has my family conspired to see how much I can take before needing a permanent supply of lithium but, apparently, so has society. Who came up with the idea of prom anyway? What idiot, hater of parents decided this was a good thing? What happened to curfew? I think if this is going to be allowed then parents should be able to have a good amount of drugs stocked for the occasion, supplied of course by the individual school district. They can make it like a candy store, come in and pick out your pleasure. For me, I will take whatever will make me drool on myself and drift into wonderland for atleast 24 hours. Is this really so much to ask? Saturday was prom, my baby girl came walking out of her bedroom looking more beautiful than should be allowed. She got into a vehicle with several other teens and headed out for a night at a hotel which was followed by an after party until 5am. Have you any idea how many grey hairs that formed on my head? Then, my son got an invite to stay the night at his friends house. It was the child's birthday and his mother wanted him to be able to have a sleep over. They are ripping the children straight from my womb! Not only is my little girl at prom but I now don't even have my baby boy to cling to. About 15 minutes after all of my children were torn from my bosom I let the dogs inside. Had to keep them out while my daughter was in her dress, if they jumped on her I feared for their little lives. I let them in and watched the puppy run through the house whining and crying. Curious as to what is wrong with her I went after her. When I picked her up I noticed her little face was slightly swollen. In the 2 minutes of holding her I watched as her face continued to swell to the point that her eyes were swollen shut and her nose was huge. She reminded me of Will Smith in the movie Hitch. This is the point where I lost it. My children have left me and my dog is dyeing. I call the vet certain that my dog is dyeing he tells me to give her benadryl. I had to administer medicine to her every 3 hours, all through the night. Not like I was sleeping anyway. Finally yesterday around 7 pm all of the hives disappeared and she is happy once again. My daughter and son had a blast the puppy is finally well again. Me on the other hand, I am exhausted, in dire need of a shower and missing patches of hair I'm sure (probably the patches that weren't already gray). I'm going to bed today.

Couldn't resist

2006-04-21T04:59:00.000-07:00

I know in my last post I spoke about Rocky, the dog who had been severely abused. Since that day I have been down to animal control several times trying to find out exactly what could be done to help and just how much support I would get from the officers. They are 100% supportive of our helping them adopt out as well as helping take care of the animals. They gave me great information and pointed me in all the right directions. I am in the process of getting my 501 status, tax exempt, which will open a lot of doors for the rescue. They tell me it should go through in just a couple of weeks. Then we will be able to accept donations from individuals, companies as well as supplies from companies. We already have a couple of places willing to let us set up an adopt a day at their location. I am supposed to meet with the police chief and the mayor to get the official approval and go ahead. Which nobody thinks is going to be a problem.
On my last trip down to animal control there was a special little someone who stole my heart. I couldn't help it! Her name is Karma, she is 2 months old, half pit bull and half lab. The sweetest little girl! I had to bring her home. It has turned out to be an excellent decision, if I don't say so myself. With our current boxer being so full of energy, she could run circles around me for days! I have tried and tried to work her energy out but I am only one person and she is killing me. Not anymore! Miss Karma has been the perfect pal, they are constantly playing and running. For the first time since we have had her Megan does not have to be crated at night for chewing, she is to tired to chew! They sleep together, play together, eat together, they even share toys! It is very entertaining.

Rocky

2006-04-14T04:29:00.000-07:00

If you have read many of my posts you are aware that we are huge animal lovers. With animals outnumbering the humans in the house its slightly obvious. We do rescue work for the local boxer rescue as a foster home. In doing this we have seen some horrible acts of cruelty. Yesterday the rescue got a call about a boxer at the pound close to me, so we decided to head down and check it out. When I got this call I was slightly surprised at the fact that our little bitty town has a pound, I had been told we didn't. When I arrived I realized why most people aren't aware of it. The gas station is bigger. Don't let the size fool you into thinking they don't get many animals, they do. They just don't have any funding. There is no outside area and the conditions inside are heartbreaking. They do the best they can but are terribly underfunded and understaffed.
The boxer we came to see had found a home but on our inspection of the other animals we came across Rocky. He is a male shepherd mix, probably part rotty. Rocky is terribly emaciated, dehydrated, covered in fleas and ticks and the skin on his tail was ripped off. His tail was literally red meat with the skin flopping to the side. The animal control officer told us about his conditions in which he was living and that this case was going to court. They had a rescue organization that was more than willing to take him but they needed a vet check to insure that he isn't so far gone with a major illness that he can be rehabilitated. Animal control had been asking people for donations to help pay for that but so far nobody had stepped up. I cant take them all home but I can help the ones I can. We took Rocky to the vet right then and there. My vet was shocked at his appearance but even more shocked when she did his check. He is over all fine but starved. Rocky's tail can be saved but will have to be amputated, we went ahead and set that up for today. Rocky is going to be ok, the rescue picks him up tomorrow. In all the abuse he has obviously been put through he isn't even the slightest bit aggressive. He is so loving and sweet, it just broke my heart.
After seeing what conditions animal control has here we are working on a plan. We are hoping to be able to help out in adoptions and fund raising. Nothing set in stone yet but we are working on it. Keep your fingers crossed, hopefully we can make a difference.

Deadly storm

2006-04-08T05:31:00.000-07:00

I returned home around 1 pm from shopping. I went early because I knew there were going to be storms coming through and I didn't want to be caught out in it. The news began to report the storms were really bad, tornados were dropping down everywhere. I am watching the report in a stunned silence as they are giving the path the storm is taking. I had just been there, shopping. They start highlighting roads on the news in the direct path of a tornado that has dropped down. My sister works there, right there on that road. I grab the phone knowing they aren't watching television and probably listening to a satellite radio. When I get my sister on the phone I am telling her "Take cover, take cover now. There is a tornado on the ground, its heading right for you." She hangs up immediately and tells her coworkers.
Still watching the news, waiting for information. My closest friend calls me, she is driving with her children into the heart of one of the worse cells to get her other child. Her radio is out in her car and counting on me to direct her as to the danger. She drives through a dead area and is going to call me right back when she gets on the other side and has cell phone service.
The phone rings again. It's my other sister, she isn't at work today. Her house is in the heart of that cell. She is hearing alarms and bells not sure what they are. I'm telling her to get in the bathroom now, that's the tornado warning system. She goes to her bathroom with a pillow to cover her head. She starts crying, she's scared. I'm not going to get off of the phone with her, trying to talk her through this. She begins to get hysterical yelling "Oh my God! Oh my God!" "what's going on? What's wrong?" I ask
"There are two forming right outside my back window, Oh God!" she says
"Get in the damn bathroom now!" I'm yelling
"I am in the bathroom, I can see it through the back door."
"Shut the frigging bathroom door, if the glass door busts its coming right to you. Shut the God damn door!" I tell her.
She shuts the door. She begins to panic. Not being able to see it coming is causing her to be irrational. She begins to yell "I cant do this. Oh God, I cant stay in here. I cant breathe."
"You don't have a choice, you stay in that bathroom damn it!" I'm screaming now.
The phone goes dead.
My power goes out.
I don't know if my sister is ok.
I cant direct my friend who is counting on me.
I can do nothing.
It was a little over an hour before I got power and found you my sister is ok. It was even longer before I found out my friend and her children were ok. The town is in devastation. The news is saying there were several tornados ranging from a category 1 all the way to a 4. We were all very lucky.

A moment

2006-04-01T05:32:00.000-08:00

It just doesn't seem that long ago when she was still making mud pies and playing hop scotch. When she was running through the house, her little face smeared with dirt and not a care in the world. I enjoyed the moments of her growing up, I know I did, but now it seems it is all happening so fast that maybe I didn't enjoy it enough. I did think about what it would be like when she got bigger, shopping for prom and her wedding. Nothing could have prepared me.

I took her to pick up the prom gown she had ordered yesterday. It was my first time seeing it as she is so independent that she and her girlfriend went to pick their dresses out together. When she came out of that dressing room nothing could have prepared me for the young woman standing before me. She was a vision, the kind songs and poems are written about. Nothing I say would do justice to the site before me at that moment. For just a split second I saw my little girl with her dirt smeared face giggling and staring up at me. Just as quickly she became this breath taking woman who was standing before me. I cant describe to you all of the emotions that surged through me. There was joy, sadness, pride and an incredible ache deep within my soul. An ache to retake all of the wonderful years I have had with her and lock them in a box so they never age and remain as fresh as the day they happened. An ache that felt as if the shattered remains of my soul would always be missing a piece, the piece my daughter will always hold.

Hell of a Weekend

2006-03-27T07:01:00.000-08:00

I have to tell you, this weekend rocked! We took the boys bowling on Saturday for Boyscouts and had so much fun. Most of the boys had never bowled before so we had the bumpers put up for them. It was so cute, they got so excited everytime it was their turn. While we were there I got to talking with one of the other moms. She mentioned wanting to go play Bingo but not having anyone to play with. I told her I would go, I haven't played in awhile so what the hell. We decided to go ahead and go that night.
I haven't played Bingo in about 4 months and even then I had only been to this bingo hall 4 times. There was a lady there selling little charms that hold your bingo tickets. I never buy these things, I am not a full fledged bingo nut. But this woman came up and told me she was selling them for another lady who used to play there but has been diagnosed with cancer and is really sick from the treatment. She makes these things but since she is so sick now she isn't able to come up and sell them herself. Well there is my sucker button. Say the "C" word and the only thing that can roll out of my mouth is "How much?". Since I was on a budget but still a sucker I spent 3 dollars on this little troll doll that came out of the money I had brought to eat with. By the end of the night I didn't mind at all spending that $3 ... I won the jackpot. I was beside myself, could not believe it, started blubbering. Yes winning $1000 made me act a fool. I am now thinking that I have become one of those women who are going to go play bringing their little lucky charms that nobody can touch with them. Because when I got home I placed the little troll doll on the mantel and nobody can touch her, she's lucky damn it.
I was excited about winning because then we could put more money down on the trip to Greece that we are sending our daughter on. That's a huge relief off of my back. I was informed by my husband that I was not putting all of that money down on the trip, I had to go by some things for myself. His requirements were they couldn't be for the house, the children, the yard or him. That man knows me way to well. So yesterday I was sent out of the house to shop for me. I did and that only fed my incredible weekend. I found this really cute pair of cargo pants and a couple of shirts. Guess what size the pants are? Go ahead guess. They are a 7!!!! A 7 and they are baggy!!!!! I have cut my pants size in HALF.

Betrayed

2006-03-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

I had the unfortunate experience of feeling a deep betrayal yesterday. It was horrible and gut wrenching. What surprises me the most is that it wasn't from my husband, my friends or anyone that I knew. It was complete strangers. How can you feel completely betrayed by absolute strangers? Not just strangers in the street, but strangers you will never come in contact with; ever.
I was watching The Today show, as I do every morning, and it was during one of their segments that the betrayal occurred. They had decided to do an experiment. They took a little girl around the age of 8 and set her on a busy street in the middle of New York City. They then had a man come and pretend to be snatching her. Now, both the girl and the man were aware of the situation, the test was to see if anyone was going to react. The child was good, she kicked and screamed and fought. She would yell over and over "Someone help me, this is not my dad!", fighting the whole time. Do you know that those people kept walking?! They would look back over their shoulders but nobody would do a thing, they didn't even call the police "just in case". They continued this experiment several times. I think it was on the 15th time that they got a reaction. What I found to be ironic was in whom the reaction came from. There were 3 young black men, my guess is their ages ranged from 17 - 19. They walked with confidence and would have fit into a stereotype that would have placed them as a bit rough. I have no doubt these three young men have been followed in stores in fear they would steal something and have probably experienced people walking across the road so they wouldn't have to pass close by them. When they passed by the little girl and the man they kept walking, never looked back but they were listening to what she was saying. They glanced back and forth at eachother several times but none spoke a word. They were approximately 20 - 30 feet from the situation when all of a sudden all three of them dropped what they had and their hands simultaneously, spun around and took off at a dead run toward the man. The moment they turned their demeanor immediately changed, their shoulders hunched and they were on the attack. None of them spoke to the other but they knew what they were doing. The young man who had walked in the middle ran at the "attacker" head on, the man to his right ran around and came at him from behind, the man on his left curved around and came at him from the side. They had surrounded him. The "attacker" immediately let go of the girl taking several quick paces backward and yelled they were on TV. The kids stopped running at him but never continued moving forward, just in case. I cant tell you how much pride I felt at that moment.
Throughout this segment I had been so appalled. They interviewed all of the people involved that had just walked by and the answer was always the same, nobody wanted to get involved. My heart was ripped out of my chest. I can handle making a fool out of myself, I have no problems with that. But I could never face myself in the mirror again knowing a little girl had been snatched and I saw it but didn't do anything out of fear that I was wrong in my assumption. All I could think of was a quote I remember hearing, I think it was George Carlin who said it, "I have been so betrayed by the human race." When the three young men were interviewed they responded by saying they weren't sure what was happening but by what that little girl was saying they weren't going to let it continue. The man who was playing her attacker compared their reaction to a feeling of being surrounded by a pack of wolves. He said it was obvious they fully intended on getting ahold of him. One of the boys just smiled and said "Yeah".
I will never meet those three brave young men. I will never throw my arms around their necks and tell them that they restored my faith in the human race. But they did. I hope someone of importance saw that segment. I hope someone sees that and takes a good hard look at the judgment those boys would have received based on their appearance. I hope things change.

Open mouth insert foot

2006-03-17T05:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I decided to be productive. Last year a friend of mine had come to visit bringing me a grocery bag filled with bulbs. I wanted to plant these flowers, I really did. Seeing as I am still learning to adjust to this whole country life thing and having been born and bred in large cities there are some things I just don't know. As much as I wanted to plant these flowers I had no clue as to which end was up on these little bulbs. Knowing that if I planted them upside down they would never grow and I would have just dug a mud hole for nothing. So, I didn't plant them. Apparently the bag at some point got knocked off of the porch. The other day my sweet, loving little boy came inside clutching the most precious little handful of flowers. "Look what I got for you mom!" He said. I was torn, the mother in me melted but the neighbor in me cringed. All I could think was that I knew those pretty little flowers didn't come from my yard, they had to have come from my anal retentive neighbor whose yard looks like a botanical garden because he has nothing better to do than groom it daily to make the rest of us look like crap. The man mows his yard twice a day with a friggin tractor, stop it. So I asked my little angel where it is he found his new treasure and he informed me they indeed came from my yard. When he showed me where they came from I was floored. My little bag of bulbs had bloomed. What does that mean to me? I now know which end is up.
So on to the true reason for this post. Now knowing which end is up on these bulbs I decide I am going to go ahead and plant them. I dig a large area surrounding my back deck, by myself I may add. I break up all that damn dirt with my shovel, smooth it out with a rake, dig careful little holes and plant my precious little flowers. By the end of the day my back is aching a bit from all of the hard work I did...By myself. My husband realizes that I don't feel like cooking dinner and offers to take us out, sounds good to me. While we are at dinner I am telling my husband about how this getting old shit is for the birds, my back is killing me. He then informs me that its only that my body isn't conditioned for that kind of physical labor and maybe I should work up to big projects rather than jumping in so my body wont hurt so badly.
"I planted a few friggin flowers I didn't dig a pool."
"You know what I mean, baby."
"Not really, right about now if I go with what I think your trying to say your about to wear your dinner."
"Baby, I didn't mean it bad. I was just saying, well, like when you started walking the dog everyday it made you really sore at first."
"Your about to walk home."
"Well, I walk a lot every day I'm conditioned to it." (laughing)
"You think I'm playing?"
"Honey, don't be that way. Your taking this all wrong." (he starts to say something else but I cut him off)
"There is absolutely nothing you can say to make this better aside from 'honey I'm an ass and don't know how you put up with me'. "
"I'm an ass and don't know how you put up with me."
His admission is the only thing that got him a ride home as I was still considering letting him walk. When we got in the bed to go to sleep he snuggled up to me and said, "It has occurred to me that you took what I said as a reflection on the physical shape you are in."
"You think?"
"Well, you took it wrong, you are looking great. You have lost so much weight and look so good. You have been sticking to a work out routine longer than I could even dream of trying. You eat right which we both know I cant do. What I meant was your back wasn't used to being hunched over all the time and in the future let me help you so that way your back doesn't hurt."
"Your still an ass."
"I know."
Then he kissed my shoulder and we went to sleep. I love him but sometimes he should really think before his gums start flapping.

Just say no

2006-03-16T05:33:00.000-08:00

I do believe that I have figured it out. You see, originally I believed that my children were trying to kill me. Wanting to travel to far off lands and do crazy things like go to college causing their mother to suffer undue heart failure. I no longer think it is an attempt to cause my death, I believe the problem to be drugs. My daughter must be doing them, for this she is grounded. In order to understand where I am coming from you need to know the conversation that occurred a couple of days ago...

my daughter: "How does it feel to have a child getting ready to graduate? Are you feeling old yet?"
me: "Actually it feels really good, I'm so proud of you."
my daughter: "You know, the girls and I have been talking and I think I have my summer planned. I am going to be so busy!"
me: "Yes you are. You have college to get ready and go off to, plus the trip to Greece and going home to visit your grandparents."
my daughter: "Oh yeah, I forgot about visiting Grandma and Grandaddy."
me: "What did you think you were going to do?"
my drugged out child: "Well the trip to Greece plus the girls and I are going to Florida for a week and we would like to try and go to Costa Rica for a week as our Senior Trip."
me: "Your grounded."
druggy: "I am not! For what?"
me: "I told you not to do drugs."
druggy: "I'm not doing drugs. Mom, I will be 18 I can go if I want to."
me: "that's exactly why your not going, because you think 18 is grown and it's not. Hell, you will be lucky if your little butt makes it to the stop sign."
druggy (laughing): "You cant stop me from going mom."
me (laughing): "Keep thinking that. I think you should discuss this with your dad."

When her father returned home from work she did discuss it with him and that turned into the funniest conversation I have ever heard. My daughter is officially mortified because she realized just how serious her dad was. He informed her she was welcome to go to Florida, that we would have a great time. Of course, she said we weren't invited. SO he quickly pointed out how he makes a lot more money than she does and has vacation time, he can go where he wants to. He then added that it would probably be a lot more fun for all if he looked into getting one of those thong bathing suits for himself. Her response to this? "You wouldn't?!" He just smiled and said "Try me."
I love that man.

It's Time

2006-03-13T04:58:00.000-08:00

This weekend was absolutely beautiful! It was up to 80 degrees and gorgeous here. With warm weather comes my favorite time of year...Baseball! No, I don't like to go to professional games or watch it on TV; I like to watch the kids play. I got the phone call last night with my list of boys on my team. I was tickled to see I have a lot of the same kids I had last year. I've gotten to know these kids and they really are a good group. We start practicing Wednesday, I don't know when our first game is yet.
For those of you who weren't around here last spring you can go back and read some of my posts from last season, I get a bit excited about my team. So yes, prepare for my rants about idiot umpires and my excitement from winning a game.
This is my favorite time of year!

Strange

2006-03-12T05:34:00.000-08:00

It's been 7 years since we moved here to Mayberry. I have never regretted the decision, I really love it here. In those 7 years I have only been back home twice. Once to take care of my grandfather who was dieing and the second I was guilt ridden into. I know it probably sounds awful but in that time I have never had a bout of homesickness. I really don't see much to miss, the crime, the people; nope not much. Sure, most of my family is there and as much as I love them, they are crazy. A lot of people probably say that about their family but mine really is. Between the drunks and the drug addicts they aren't the kind of people you want your kids hanging around. It's kind of sad really but a necessity to maintain my sanity.
There is a portion of my family that I didn't see very often, only holidays, that I really enjoyed. Imagine my surprise when I opened my email this morning and found pictures from my mother of my Great Aunt's 90th birthday party. I have always liked her, she is such a neat lady. The surprise was the emotion I felt, homesick. I hate that I wasn't there to see her, I really miss her. I am shocked and surprised to find myself considering a trip back there for Thanksgiving just to see that side of the family. I would really like to do that. If there were some way to make that trip and see them without having to deal with the extremely disfunctional side of the family I will do it. It's just figuring out the second part. Forgive me, not a very eventful post, just dealing with a new emotion here. I'm not used to this.

Confession

2006-03-07T04:59:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have found an new show that we really like. We have been watching it for a few months now. It comes on the National Geographic channel and its called The Dog Whisperer. I would link to it except my computer is being rabid at the moment and not allowing me to put a link in here. Anyway, this guy on the show is pretty amazing. He can take a dog with any problem and just by teaching you a few techniques has them perfect in under 30 minutes. He teaches what he calls dog psychology. After watching his show and learning some things I have had the revelation that I am a bad pet owner. Hell, after watching his show I have never known a good pet owner.
Well we cant have a bad pet owner now can we? So I do the only thing reasonable to do...Attempt to be a good pet owner. The most important thing for a dog owner to do is take the dog for a walk. Regardless of how much land you have for them to run on you need to take them for a walk. Easy enough, I can do that. So I begin the routine of walking the dog. The dog does great we are enjoying ourselves, this is something we can do every day. Good for the dog and I'm thinking maybe good for my ass. Slightly self serving, I know but if we are both getting something good out of it it cant hurt, right? Then I wake up the next day. My muscles are screaming "What are YOU doing old woman?!" The back of my thighs and my butt have found themselves contracting into periodic Charlie horses for absolutely no reason what so ever. I am going to die. Death by dog.
I am not a quitter, we are going to walk every day. I may end up with a firmer behind from all of this but if you come anywhere near me you are going to think I'm 80. I have the perma smell of Bengay. Anyone know if they make this in a bath soak? Can I get a Bengay dip?

Total girl moment

2006-03-04T04:51:00.000-08:00

OK I am going to take a moment and be a complete girly girl. I know, very annoying, I try to keep those moments to a minimum but this really is for a good reason. The other day the weather was so nice I decided to pull out some summer clothes. In going through the box I found an outfit that was really cute but I had only worn once before. Not because I didn't like it but because my ass seemed to exceed the limits of the fabric shortly after making my purchase. I decided to give it a try, I have lost some weight and see how it looked. Holding my breath, I slowly slide them up and begin to suck in my gut to button them. Only to realize I didn't have to suck anything in. OMG! Not only do I not have to suck anything in but they are big, big like I have to wear a belt!! In my excitement I jerk them off to look at the tag, I must know what size they are. Are you ready?? They are a 9! I haven't seen below a size 9 since before my son was born. I am beside my self not wanting to believe what I am seeing. So what do I do? What any normal girl would do and attempt to shake myself back to reality. This is a fluke, a mistake. I pull out the dreaded bikini. I put it on to reassure myself that I am crazy and not really below a 9. Sadistic, I know. Well guess what...It's loose. I don't believe I will have a risk of being harpooned this year. Hell I might actually wear it in front of people.

He gets it

2006-02-23T04:54:00.000-08:00

My oldest child has always had a problem asking for help. She would much rather handle situations on her own and will almost never ask for assistance. Mostly this stems from experiences she has had in school. You see, she is extremely intelligent. No, I am not being a preening parent; I am being honest. When she was in the 5th grade she was testing at a college sophomore level. In addition she is also an over achiever, always has been. She hates working on group projects and will always take the majority of the work load to ensure receiving an A on the project. As much as I understand her frustration there is also a need for her to be able to recognize personal limitations as well as recognizing that asking for help does not equal weakness or failing. This is our current struggle.
Last night she was told that her lack of ability to ask for help was a result of arrogance and she needed to humble herself back down to the level of the rest of us. Before anyone had a chance to respond or even digest the material that had been dished out, my husband spoke...
"I'm going to stop you right there. 95% of the time she is the most intellectual person in the room, you call it arrogance. I suppose if you are one of the people who aren't her equal in that it would be considered arrogance; but those who are her equal or above would consider it reality. She does not look down on people nor does she consider herself superior to people in any way, she never has. But if she recognizes that she can perform a function better than another person who's track record proves that point, how is that arrogant and not realistic? As far as humbling herself down to the rest of us, you are way out of line. We will not be taking her self confidence. Women in society today without self confidence are victims, she is not a victim and I have worked to hard to instill that in her for you to attempt to tell her its wrong. That arrogance, as you like to call it, may just save her ass someday. Every day that she wakes up and gets out of bed she is prey for someone out there simply because she is a woman. This arrogance that you speak of will give her the ability to kick his ass and that's just the way its going to stay. Now what we need to focus on is teaching her that asking for help doesn't mean she isn't capable nor does it mean she is a failure. That's where all of this is stemming from, not because she thinks she is better than anyone or has to much self confidence. She has a fear of failure and in that is afraid that by asking for help makes her less. That's what we are focusing on while keeping her self esteem in tact."
He gets it, he really gets it. I admit, I cried.

Addicted

2006-02-18T07:11:00.000-08:00

It has been 12 years since the first time I laid eyes on my husband. He was amazing, still is. But this post isn't so much about him but the effects of him. When I met him I was in my early twenties (showing my age now), a single mother or 2 little girls and worked 14 hour days to make ends meet. It was hard but it was ok, I was making my way for my girls and proud of that. I was an intelligent, strong, independent woman.
My husband went out of town this past week for work. He was only gone for a total of 5 days, 4 nights. I knew I was going to miss him what I didn't know is that I would become completely incompetent. I didn't want to do anything, not clean the house, not cook; hell I didn't even want to put on decent clothing. I have been transformed from a strong, independent women to a sniffling, winy sissy. I sulked! For a week! He thinks this is funny, says he missed the hell out of me too. Hmph
I am not happy about this. You would figure I would have slept very well with him gone. No snoring to listen too, nobody rolling over and squishing me. But nope, my body has become addicted to snores and squishing. It cant sleep more than and hour or two at a time without the earth shattering sound of snores.
Bastard, not only do I love him with everything in me apparently I'm addicted to him too.
Hmph

V-Day

2006-02-14T07:57:00.000-08:00

Well its Valentines Day and wouldn't you know the damn company my husband works for sent him out of town yesterday? They have been trying to ruin our Valentines Day for years, bastards. I got my revenge though :)
When my husband arrived in his destination (far far far away from Mayberry) last night he called. This is when I found out that his flight had been fine, but this is all that had been fine. The company had made arrangements for him to have a rental car and set him up in a hotel room. The rental car was nice, even has a GPS phone to give him directions for wherever he needs to go. The room is really nice, its not a room but a suite. Only problem is the only thing that was already paid for were his airplane tickets. The car had been reserved as well as the suite but he had to pay for it all. Now isn't that just a kick in the pants?! You know, I have always said my husband is the calm to my storm. He is the only thing that keeps this tornado from swirling. Well, he's not here. So I had the wonderful opportunity to call his HR manager and give him a piece of my mind this morning. You see, we wouldn't have minded all of this except we were told it was all paid for so we hadn't arranged to have that kind of money available. Hell, if we knew we were paying for it up front he surely wouldn't be paying that kind of price for a damn room. Those people must be smoking crack. Needless to say, I am supposed to go pick up a check from his work this afternoon to cover the cost of the hotel room and car that he already dished out. Good thing too, my kids have grown slightly fond of luxuries like...Food, electricity; that kind of thing.
On another note I did wake up to something very sweet. The realization that my daughter does love me or at least subconsciously recognizes that I am not the devil sent here to ruin her life. There were roses on the dining room table for me...From her. She really can be sweet when she wants to. Either that or she is planning to screw up really big while her father is out of town and she is hoping the roses will soften me up some since he isn't here to stop me from killing the child. I am choosing to believe it is the former. We shall see :)
Happy Valentine's Day!

It's all up hill from here

2006-02-11T05:36:00.000-08:00

"This is the end, my friend. The end"
isn't that how that old Pink Floyd song goes? It's been awhile so I don't remember. Well I just thought you all should know that the world is ending. Possibly today, if not today, definitely by the end of this weekend. Do you know how I know? I went grocery shopping yesterday. Yep, that's all I needed to know the end is near. The shelves were bare in most places. All the bread was gone, the milk, the meats were slim pickings and canned foods were almost none existent. There world is coming to an end and it is all starting right here in Mayberry. You should have seen the frenzy!! The store itself was packed, I didn't know that many people lived here in Mayberry. I walked in and went to grab a grocery cart and there wasn't one to be found. Seriously! We had to follow a shopper to their car and wait for them to unload their groceries to take possession of a cart.
Do you know what has caused this? I will tell you. Mayberry is located down south. Now, I am from the south but down here in Mayberry they consider me to be a northerner. Mayberry is experiencing a blizzard. It's all over now, pull out the chains for your tires. Lock the doors before the looting begins and grab your shotguns! We are getting a whole 2 - 4 inches of snow! 2 - 4 inches, its a damn blizzard I tell ya!!

Embracing my stupidity

2006-02-03T05:30:00.000-08:00

I have been aware, ever since my daughter was old enough to have an opinion, that I am an idiot. My husband and I have accepted our role as idiot in our daughters life. What I wasn't prepared for was when we bought her a vehicle our status would deteriorate instantly. We are no longer idiots, we are down right retarded. At this point I should probably be grateful for the days that I am capable of tying my shoes and not drooling on myself. I'm not sure how she justifies our standing in her mind especially seen as we were apparently successfully at raising and incredibly intelligent child.
Our child has gotten herself into a bit of trouble and lost her driving privileges to and from school. After school we allow her to take her car to work or if she wants to go somewhere that's fine but she isn't allowed to drive back and forth to school. I know, sounds odd but I assure you it is for a reason that I wont go into here. Being the sympathetic mother that I try to be, I decide to be nice and drive her to school rather than make her face the humiliation of the bus. It was that day that I realized the deterioration of my standing in her eyes.
We had gotten into the car preparing to leave for school...
"Don't drive yet." My child says, very matter-of-factly.
"Why not?" I ask
"The car isn't warm yet," She says.
"I came out here 5 minutes ago and warmed it up (insert name)," I replied proceeding to give the car a little gas.
"Stop, don't do that!" she screams.
"don't do what?" I ask.
"don't give it gas like that, its not good for the car." rolling her eyes, letting me know how stupid I am.
"You do realize this is the pedal you press to drive, right?" I'm getting slightly sarcastic now.
"The car isn't warm, just wait for it to be ready to drive," is her response.
"Child, I have been driving longer than you have been breathing." can you tell I am irritated?
"And how many cars have you had break down on you?" she's getting very brave now.
"Actually none. And just to be sure we don't have this problem anymore make sure your alarm is set early tomorrow because your riding the bus." I say.
"Mom, no!" she is clearly not liking this idea.
"Embrace the bus (insert child's name). Feel the bus, become one with the bus." was all I had to say.
Needless to say, the rest of our trip was spent in silence. I am now not only the dumbest woman on the planet but I am also evil.

Mind Boggling

2006-01-25T05:05:00.000-08:00

It has been some time since I posted last and my posts recently have been sporadic at best. Unfortunately we have been dealing with a bit of family emergency's here and being the type of person I am I have just needed to take a breath. I am the kind of person to react during a crisis and handle whatever needs to be done, its after that I take the time to fall apart. My dad was involved in a pretty bad accident but things are slowly beginning to look up and I am slowly beginning to pick myself back up. I am not quite ready to post about that yet so lets move on to my intended post shall we?

There has been some news to recently come out not to far from my little Mayberry here. You see, Mayberry is technically only 22 miles from a very big major city. You wouldn't know it by driving through town, its as if there is an invisible line drawn between big city and Mayberry. But the city is there. Around this big city are several small towns just like the little Mayberry I reside in. It's in one of these small towns that this disturbing piece of information has occurred.
There was a 16 year old girl who was attending her local high school, her mother happened to come across some text messages on her phone that she was very disturbed by. They were very explicit sexually and over 100 of them. It was the sender that disturbed her the most, these messages were being sent to her child from a teacher at the local high school. The parent then took this directly to the school, the police and every other avenue possible. An investigation immediately ensued. It was found that said teacher had worked in the city at a high school before moving to that small towns school. It was also found that upon his interview process the small town school had contacted the city school for a reference. The city school recommended that the small town school not hire him. When asked why they refused to give a reason. The small town school decided to hire the man seen as there was no reason not to. It wasn't until the investigation into his relationship with the 16 year old girl that the reason was finally revealed. He had fathered a child with one of his 14 year old students. No charges were ever filed.
How did this happen?? How did this man get away with no charges the first time? How did this not go in his file? How did this man ever get another teaching job? At what point have we had enough that we put a stop to the bureaucratic bullshit and say "Not to my child!"?

"O"

2006-01-13T12:10:00.000-08:00

This post here is for the ladies. Men, feel free to read but, ladies this is a discussion we must have. For to long it has been taboo, a secret, dirty and something we just didn't talk about. We must break the silence. Yes I am talking about the big "O".
I realize the sad fact that there is an alarmingly large number of women who have never experienced this wonderful thing. No men, most wont admit it to you, they are afraid of hurting your feelings. The fact that a lot have never had one is horrible but the fact that they don't talk about it is a tragedy.
As a woman I understand that for years society has beat in our heads that sex is something we just are supposed to do yet not really enjoy. If we enjoy it to much that makes us a whore. This is a horrible myth probably created by some man who was really horrible in bed. These women tend to have mixed feelings of guilt, confusion and anger. These same women tend to feel as if their husbands are doing something wrong or are just not very good in bed. Which is probably true, BUT.....
Men are not equipped with a vagina. If you, the owner of said vagina, don't know what makes it feel good or how to work it then why would they?? You have to teach them what you like, if you don't know how it works you cant teach them. Let me assure you, and guys back me up on this, your man will be extremely grateful for your input. They want you to feel good. Every woman is different, therefore every woman's equipment is different. What worked for his ex may not be what gets your motor running. How is he going to know if you don't tell him??!!
Trust me, the first time the big "O" knocks on your door the excitement to feel that way again will outway any embarrassment you may feel about telling him how to make it visit again.
So ladies, embrace your body, embrace your sexuality. It is not dirty or shameful. Teach him how to work it, you'll thank me later.

Out of the mouthes of babes

2005-12-28T17:44:00.000-08:00

I have said for a long time that Mother Nature has a sick sense of humor. It is only recently I have discovered the whole damn universe is getting its kicks at my expense. As if Mother Nature's little jokes aren't enough. You know what it is I am talking about....Age
As we get older Mother Nature finds it humorous to "adjust" body parts, putting them in locations they have never been before. Then the medical community jumps on the band wagon and decides to see just how many orifices they can probe the older you get. No, they do not stop there. They take the body parts Mother Nature has repositioned and stretch them, pull them, smash them. Yes, they are now elastic.
As a woman I am accustomed to the medical community reeking havoc on my body to see how much it can take before cracking. Hell, childbirth alone requires procedures that no human should have to experience while already having that much natural pain. One word for you...Enema.
It creates shudders around the world.

My husband on the other hand hasn't had the pleasure of the medical community probes...Until now. Reaching the age where they gently ease you into the exams they will be continuously performing until you die, it has begun.
This story really isn't about his "procedure", more so the conversation that occurred with our daughter the night before.
I had to call her and confirm that she didn't have to work in the morning seen as I had to bring my husband to the hospital by 5:30am and we still have a 8 yr old to take care of. She confirmed she would be here to watch him and asked if her dad was ok....
Me: "Daddy's fine, its a routine procedure to make sure everything is ok"
Her: "Why wouldn't everything be ok?"
Me: "Well, as you get older they start doing all kinds of tests just to be sure."
Her: "What are they doing?"
Me: "It's called a colonoscopy."
Her: "I thought you only had that if there was a problem."
Me: "Nope, they also do it for preventive measures."
Her: "Mom, if this is for E.D. you can tell me. I'm just worried and need to know if something is wrong."
Me: "Nothing is wrong baby, promise. E.D.?"
Her: "Is that what it is? E.D.? You can tell me if it is."
Me: "E.D.? What is Ed?"
Her: "Not Ed mom, E.D. You know..."
Me: "No, I don't"
Her: "Erectile Dysfunction"
Me: "OH MY GOD!!! You did not just ask me that. No, your father is not having problems in that area. It's looking at his colon, his butt not his front!"

At this point my husband is hearing only my side of the conversation and is appalled. He is yelling "We are not having a conversation about my penis with our daughter!! Hell, I'm not that old yet anyway!" He is attempting to leave the room but is continuously drawn back which results in him pacing back and forth from the kitchen. I am laughing so hard there are tears.
I have decided my daughter watches to much television seen as this is where she seems to have learned the term. She is also aware of several forms of medication to correct that problem. What the hell are they putting on TV these days anyway??!!
The point of this story? Do not jump on the bandwagon with the rest of the universe and make fun of your parents as they are getting old. You too will have these experiences.

To cute, Had to share it

2005-12-24T06:19:00.000-08:00

Mom's Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,
I've been a good Mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor.
I sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids. I'll take them in any color, except purple, which I already have. I would also like arms that don't flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother", because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

And please don't forget the Play-Doh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the In-laws' house seem just like mine.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

Oh, and If you don't mind...
I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always...Mom.

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in you.

Almost There

2005-12-21T06:35:00.000-08:00

OK I have tried but my remote seems to be broken. Could someone please hit the pause button?! I am soooo not ready for this holiday yet. I have 20 people coming for dinner and haven't even started on the house, have to order the table and chairs, haven't started cooking (well some baking is done) and still have x-mas shopping to do. There is no way I have enough time. Why am I so late this year? Well, because I am (at the moment anyway) the best mom in the world. Hey, I have to eat this up when I get it, it doesn't happen often. Our daughter received her x-mas gift from us a week early this year. We bought her a car. Not only is it a car but it is bad ass! Not an old car, a newer one, fully loaded, leather interior, moon roof, 5 disk CD changer. Yes, I am the greatest. That wasn't originally what we had in mind when we decided to get her a car but I got such an unbelievable deal on it I couldn't turn it down. Plus I get to maintain the greatest mom in the world title for at least a couple of weeks. So I think that I should have the authority to put off the holiday a day or two. Seen as that attempt isn't working, if someone could hit pause for me I would appreciate it!

The lesson

2005-12-17T05:58:00.000-08:00

The cats have out done themselves. This truly takes the cake. Being the majority in my house they even have the dog trained. Being the stupid human that I am, I always assumed there was some sense of family or pack mentality amongst them. With the dog protecting the cats from other animals and the cats snuggling on the dogs bed with her. It wasn't until the other day that I realized what is truly going on.
One of our cats, Valkyrie, caught a mouse. It was her first catch so she wasn't really sure what to do with it. She played taxi to the mouse for a little while carting it room to room, then did the usual let it go to catch it again. The other cats were paying very close attention to this game. I only have one mouser in my house and he has self retired from the business so this is all new to the rest of them. One of the other cats, Anubis, happened to get lucky on one of
Valkyrie's releases and was able to steal the mouse from her. He then followed
her lead and taxied it room to room for a little while before playing the "let it go and catch it again" game. Once again the other cats are watching.....But so is the dog, Megan.
Megan decides to get up and see what was going on, atleast that's what I thought she was doing. Little did I know she wanted her turn. She followed the cats around and the next thing I know, on one of the cats releases, she grabs the mouse. She carries the mouse room to room and then releases it to catch it again. The end result? The dog killed the mouse with her paws, trying to play with it. As strange as this is it doesn't seem to be a one time deal.
Last night as hubby and I were preparing for bed, Megan brought us another one. It seems I have another mouser, a 75 pound mouser.
The cats? Well, they are continuing to lounge their fat little selves around the house while the dog does all the leg work.

Eye Opener

2005-12-10T06:49:00.000-08:00

When all of the information became available regarding my daughters accident it was quite an eye opener. I was shocked and appalled to say the least. I had no idea how many rights have been taken away from the worker and how many laws employers are allowed to break, at the risk of their employees' safety, without repercussion. In my frustration I began to talk to people and found that I was not the only one shocked. I figured I would share my findings with you.

My daughter was burned on her face, neck, chest, both arms, both hands and fingers. She has 1st through 3rd degree burns. This accident was caused because she was using faulty equipment, the company knew the equipment was faulty and refused to replace it. They didn't want to spend the money. When the accident happened there was no first aid kit in the store. The company also was aware of this, the store manager had offered to purchase one with her own money and the headquarters told her no it wasn't a priority. There was also no cold running water due to a problem with the pipes that had been ongoing for months. Headquarters didn't feel this was a priority either.

Now, perhaps these issues could be more understandable if this was a small company who was working to fix all of these codes violations and just didn't have the money to have it all taken care of yet. It's not. This is a major fast food chain that most of us have visited many times in our lives. The major age group working in this facility is under the age of 20. Our children work there as their first jobs in high school.

Do you know there is nothing I can do to make them follow the law and have those things fixed? Even though each one of those issues is a violation of the law. Due to a law that was passed protecting corporations who have a workmans compensation carrier they can not be prosecuted even if they are breaking the law and causing unnecessary injuries to their employees.

It is important that you understand I had absolutely no interest what so ever in pursuing a law suit when this injury happened. I only wanted to make sure that my daughter was taken care of. It wasn't until I found out that even after this accident happened they had a 16 year old employee rig the piece of equipment that broke and caused my daughters injuries back together and continue to use it. None of the codes violations have been corrected and they are continuing to put the rest of the children employed there at risk of serious injury. It was then that I contacted an attorney and asked how I can make them follow the law. It was then that I was informed I cant. I was informed this by several attorneys. There is nothing we can do to make them follow the law, there is nothing we can do to make them keep these children safe from unnecessary injury. Due to this wonderful law that was passed to protect them they are, for the most part, exempt from following the law themselves.

What a wonderful world we live in.

Update

2005-12-09T04:52:00.000-08:00

Most of you have probably thought I have up and left the world of blogging without even a good bye. Not true. I am temporarily detained with important things here in the real world. My daughter was involved in a work accident and has been burned pretty badly. I don't have much time to sit and write but I will do the best I can. I just wanted to update you and let you know I haven't left, I'm just really stretched for time.

Change of Plans

2005-11-29T05:30:00.000-08:00

Well I had this wonderful heartfelt post planned about the wonderful holiday's. How great it is to have such good friends and family all together blah blah blah. It was a great holiday and it was wonderful but I have other things to write about at the moment.
Today is my birthday. Normally I don't much care, never have been a big one on monetary things. I would rather spend time hanging out with people than get presents. I know, weird. It drives my husband nuts, he says "What do you want for you birthday?". I say " A big bow on you. But you could make me dinner if you like." Of course he doesn't have me cook on my birthday but he really wants to get me things. Manly thing I guess.
This year I will give him credit, I am all kinds of excited about my gift. He gave it to me last night. He got me a day at the spa. Not just an hour massage or a pedicure...A whole damn day!!! Yes, Mayberry has a spa.
So today I am going to get a body treatment, a wrap, a facial, a massage and soak in an aromatic Roman style bath. All the while, daydreaming of warm weather, cabana boys and drinks with little umbrellas in them. What? A girl can fantasize every now and then.
I am off to get ready for my day of pampering and cabana fantasies.

Someone call Time!!

2005-11-22T04:55:00.000-08:00

Ok, I need a time out. How in the hell did the year go by so fast? We cant really be at Thanksgiving just yet. The turkey is defrosting and I start baking today along with cleaning. I'm just not sure how it's already this time of year. I put up holiday decorations yesterday in an attempt to recognize the upcoming festive occasion. It's working, slowly.
I really do love this holiday once it arrives but I so hate the preparations. We have 20 people coming, we tend to do a good size Thanksgiving. Sort of a tradition we started when we moved away from home. We have our closest friends and some family and celebrate together. There is never a dull moment and always a lot of laughs. I don't know how much time I'm going to have to blog between baking, cleaning, cooking and setting up. I will try but in case I don't get to, Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2005-11-16T11:31:00.000-08:00

Preparing for school this morning my (now 8 yr old) son and I had an interesting conversation. As I am getting his coat out of the closet and holding it open for him to put on.
My son: "I hate this coat."
Me: "What do you mean you hate this coat?"
My son: "I hate this coat."
Me: "This is your big winter coat, it keeps you warm."
My son: "I hate it."
Me: "How can you hate this coat? You picked it out."
My son: "that's when I was little, I hate it now."
Me: "It wasn't even a full year ago!"
My son: "I'm 8 now. I don't like it anymore."
Me: "Well, just what is it you hate about it?"
I didn't get an answer to that question, he just walked out the door to catch the bus. Wearing a scowl because he is grown now at the ripe old age of 8.

*This post was supposed to be made 3 days ago but blogger is being pissy with me. Sorry for the delay :)

Your opinion

2005-11-10T05:04:00.000-08:00

He had only been in his new town for 4 months. Having moved to a small country town half way across the country from the big city he had grown up in. A new high school, no friends, he strived for acceptance. Not being exactly what the current "in" crowd considered cool he wasn't readily accepted. He finally met a boy who was from that small town whom he called a friend. It was the only one he had successfully made. He and this boy hung out every day.
One afternoon, on the school bus is when it all began. He and his new friend were teasing a couple of other children. He began pawing through another child's backpack. The child told him to stop and regained possession of their backpack. A verbal confrontation occurred which turned into a mild physical one. There were 5 children involved in addition to the boy and his new found friend. Some children got grabbed when they got up to move away. Some where grabbed on the leg, some on the arm and one on the groin. The details are unclear.
Parents found out and became greatly concerned. Reports were filed with the Sheriff and Child Protective Services were called in. The accusation is one of a sexual predator due to a child being grabbed in the groin.
Was it a sexual attack or a case of bullying? Is the child a sexual predator? Does he deservingly need to carry the title of sexual offender for the rest of his life? Did he intentionally grab the child's groin or did his hand miss the mark as the child stood to move?
The boy is 16, tell me what you think.

2005-10-31T10:09:00.000-08:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
As you can probably guess this is my favorite holiday ! I'm just as excited as the kids. The costumes are ready, the kids are ready, I am ready...Let's go trick-or-treating!! Yes, I dress up. I even laid out hubby's chainmail so he can dress up. He doesn't get into it quite as much as I do but he says my excitement is contagious.
Be safe and everyone have a spooky, scary, ghoulish, freaky kinda Halloween!!!

The Gift

2005-10-30T06:48:00.000-08:00

Last year my husband and I gave a lot of thought to the Christmas gifts we would give the children. Like most parents we took into consideration the things the really wanted and of course the things they would "just die" if they didn't have. Some they got, some they didn't but nobody died. Yet.

One of the things my son asked for, it was on the "die if I don't have" section of his list, was a guitar. Wanting to encourage artistic talent and expression in our child we thought this was a good idea.

Having had my brief stint with a musical instrument in childhood I wanted my son to have that as well. My mother did not encourage me in that area, to be honest I was only allowed to practice in the garage. I never felt encouraged to play the instrument. I wanted my son's experience to be wonderful, telling him what a good job he is doing. Hell, I had the boy playing Jimi Hendrix by age 10. Christmas morning he woke up to find his most sought after gift delivered by none other than the Jolly Old Elf who's only goal is to make my sons dreams come true. He was so happy, he carried it with him all day, he sat it by his chair at Christmas dinner, he kissed it goodnight that evening and gently set it by his bed. Which is where it has remained, until today.
He has pulled out his long forgotten gift, the book and the CD that accompanied it to learn how to play. In order to better share his gift with the rest of the family he has chosen to practice with the CD player in the living room. He found that learning to read the notes and learn the finger placement was just to hard. Choosing instead to find the notes on his own. The CD gently lulls a rendition of "Mary had a little lamb" accompanied by my son thrashing a horrific sound and saying "See mom, I don't need the book I can find the note on my own." Everytime he has found an even more horrific note than the last one I hear him yell out "Mom, did you hear that one? Didn't that sound good?!".

I found my body has forced itself in a slow retreat from the living room. I am now in the bedroom which only causes him to play louder to ensure my listening enjoyment. I don't know how long I can last before I feel the blood begin to trickle down my face as my eardrum has burst. I find that I am bombarded by one thought and one thought only....
"I will not be my mother!" No matter how much I would like to lock the child in the garage, I will not. Thus I do not know if I will survive to write to you again.
I have nobody to blame but myself, I bought this godforsaken present. My dreams are dashed, no Santana will hum from my 7 yr olds fingertips. But I will smile and assure him that is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. All the while attempting to fight my bodies instinctual reaction which is to use that damn thing as firewood!

Good news all around

2005-10-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

The camping trip rocked!!! We had so much fun! There were over 300 people there and it was organized so well that the number of people was never a problem. They had a archery and BB gun range set up, showed movies outside at the pavilion, did a midnight haunted forest hike and a million other activities. It was done so they had activities to do but still had plenty of free time to play. The boys had such a great time, they earned several beltloops and completed a lot of requirements to earn their patches. I have to say, I am really impressed with the Boy Scout Reservation. That place is unbelievably huge! We were only on one small section of it and t here was a castle built, tepees, a pirate ship docked on the lake. All of this the kids could play on. There were so many more things out there I just cant think of them all. I am really glad I was able to go.
On another note.....I'm pretty excited about this week. Tomorrow is girls night. We haven't had a girls night in many years. It was something some friends of mine and I did years ago once a week. We would get together at one friends house and just spend time together. Goofing off, laughing and just generally enjoying each others company. I have missed that and them. Well we're back and better than ever so its only reasonable girls night should be back :) I cant wait!

Quick note

2005-10-22T04:21:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to let you know I am going camping! Yeah!! Justice has been kind enough to keep our dog, she's rather persistent. I tried to talk her out of it but she swears she understands what she is agreeing too. I realize that I will owe her big after this. Don't get me wrong, I love our little foster dog but to say she is special is putting it lightly. She is like a house full of 2 year olds, more work than I have ever seen in an animal. So Justice, I got lunch next week!
I'm heading out for the boy scout reservation, hope everyone has a good weekend!
Thank you Justice!

Change of Plans

2005-10-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm slightly disappointed. This weekend is our one and only big camping trip of the year with the boyscouts. I cant go :( Well, I guess I could go but if I did my dog would have free reign over the house for an entire weekend. I would come home to a dog poop filled house. So yea, I'm a bit bummed. I was really looking forward to going. Like last year, hubby will take the boy and I will stay home with the dog. Which means my son is destined to live off of hotdogs and donuts for the weekend. My husband, as much as he likes to camp, does NOT cook over a fire. Atleast not anything that requires more than shoving it on a stick and hanging said stick over a fire for 2 minutes.
So I am going to go sit and pout for a minute.

They are killing me

2005-10-14T05:04:00.000-07:00

I know I have been away for a little while but I have been busy avoiding the knife. You know, the one my children are constantly trying to stab in my chest. I believe I have told you before that they are trying to kill me, well, its true. I think I have figured out their strategy. You see, they run me crazy taking them back and forth to this and that making me exhausted. Cant think clearly if your exhausted, isn't that a technique for brainwashing? Hmmm gonna have to give that some thought too. Then, after I am completely exhausted, they will pop some horrible surprise just for shock value. You know, like "Hey mom, I want to go vacation in another country with a group of kids my age", or "Hey mom, I think maybe I might go to school overseas". Anything to knock me off of my feet.
So in my sleep deprived delirium I have put a deposit down for my daughter to go visit a foreign country FAR FAR AWAY with kids her own age to do God knows what (I cant think about that). 1 week after that I received a letter from the organization that handles foreign exchange students. Guess what? My daughter has been nominated to participate in their program. Ok, maybe you didn't catch the most important part of that sentence.....Key word here is "nominated". I do a little research to find out who is conspiring with my children to bring about my demise. What should I find? That a teacher, a TEACHER is participating in this act. Do I know exactly which teacher is in on this plan? Nope, I just know it is one of them. Now what did I ever do to them? My children attend school regularly and on time, are prepared for class, hell they are good students. My daughter gets straight A's. So why the torture? I thought the teachers were supposed to be on my side. Bastards, they have turned against me.
SO here I sit exhausted and apparently brainwashed because I am going to their stupid meeting to hear all about the wonderful things they want to do for my child FAR FAR FAR FAR away.

Just a thought

2005-10-04T05:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, let me ask you a question. Lets say I want to be a mechanic. Never really been under the hood of a car but I have read so many books I could draw you a blue print of your engine with my eyes closed. I can drive a car, change the tires, I know where everything is under the hood but I have never really been there myself. Would you bring your car to me? Do you think I could get a job with the most prestigious car company in the country as a mechanic?
Just a guess, but I don't think they would hire me without experience as a mechanic.
So why is it that you can be a supreme court judge without ever having sat on the bench? I know, I try to stay away from political posts for the most part but this one just has me puzzled. Do we not have enough judges in this country to choose from? Is there a shortage? Out of all the judges in this country are NONE of them qualified?
If I were a judge I think I might be offended.

I'm loosing it

2005-09-25T04:22:00.000-07:00

I have come to understand the plan of my children. They are truly trying to kill me but they have no mercy in their hearts. They have decided to make it a slow and painful death. One that may take many many years, patient little people they are. I have had many revelations within the past few weeks all of which lead to the same thing, they are growing up. My oldest is almost grown. How in the hell has this happened?? I am NOT old enough to have to deal with this yet.
Everytime I successfully forget their growth there is the oldest to thrust it in my face at every opportunity....
"Mom, I need to order my high school ring."
"Mom, we need to go to college night"
"Mom, I found some new college scholarships"
"Mom I want to go to another country."

Yes, the last one is her newest way to plunge the knife straight into my heart and twist. I realize that my daughter is going to leave and go off to college. I am not happy with the idea of her being out there alone without me and all the perverts just waiting to prey on her. So yes, there is a good chance I'm going to be a bit crazy. But now, now she wants to go across the ocean. Far, far away! How can I get to her there? How in the hell do I protect my baby across a friggin ocean?!
Ever since she was a little girl she has wanted to go to Greece. She has researched it, dreamed of it ever since she was old enough to know what it is. Now her school is planning a trip the summer she graduates. You know what the worse part is? I recognize what a good idea it is, I recognize how wonderful the opportunity is. Have you any idea the arguments that is creating in my head?! I want her to have this opportunity, I want her to have this experience. But across the ocean????
Please, just shoot me in the head now. Show some compassion for a mother with a knife twisting in her heart. I told my husband yesterday that I was turning in my resignation, I'm not being a mom anymore. It's just to hard and the God's think it is funny that my daughter is ready to graduate high school and they are still with holding my instruction packet on raising children. I'm going blind here folks, I have no instructions, no children's "owners manual", nothing!
Oh God, I need valium; lots and lots.

Doing it all over again

2005-09-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

I have been slightly preoccupied lately. Saturday night D and I had a HUGE argument and I was completely irrational, his fault of course. My husband knowing the rule, you cant argue with crazy, realized that he was going to have to catch me off guard in order to get me to hear what he had to say. So he left the room for a moment allowing me time to catch my breath and shut my mouth. When he returned he brought his wallet with him. He pulled out a paper and handed it to me. When I looked at it I was confused. He said "It was supposed to be a surprise but I'm going to tell you. I had talked to some of our friends and asked them to assist me in preparations because I wanted to know if you would marry me again. What you are holding is the beginning of the vows I have written."
OK, yes, I felt like an ASS! Needless to say we made up and come to find out it was all just a huge misunderstanding. We were talking about two completely different things and didn't realize it. I wouldn't let him tell me about the rest of his plans explaining to him that it wasn't necessary to completely ruin the surprise. He wants us to get handfasted having the ceremony we didn't have the first time around. He told me to think about my dress and make it. (I make period clothing and have done some wedding dresses as well) I am really excited about all of this.
You see, all those years ago when we got married there was no ceremony. It was quite comical to be honest. We had moved 1000 miles away from my family to where his family was. Originally we were planning a wedding but we had a falling out with his family and the whole thing had become such a hassle that we decided to elope. The day we did it, we drove to Louisiana and found a justice of the peace. In all our excitement to make our relationship legal we forgot you have to have witnesses. My husband ran across the street to a little gas station and talked the manager and assistant manager to come sign as witnesses. I remember laughing so hard. Before he had finally decided to go to the gas station to get witnesses he was walking down the sidewalk asking anyone he came upon if he could get their help. It was a memorable experience, not very romantic, but definitely a story we giggle about today.
As you can probably guess, I am bubbling with excitement to have that ceremony with him. Having given it some thought I have devised a little surprise of my own. He wants to have a traditional Celtic handfasting. Since I am making our clothing for the event I thought it would be neat to do something special with that. My husbands genealogy has been traced all the way back to the first king of Northern Ireland. I thought in making his clothing I would use his family tartan and on my wedding cloak I am going to embroider his family crest. I just thought it would be cool to give him a little surprise too. I have plenty of time, this wont be something that happens until next year so I can really put some detail into it. .
It is a wonderful feeling knowing that if I could do it all over again I would and so would he. Now we are taking that opportunity and I couldn't be happier.

He is amazing

2005-09-16T05:12:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that after 12 years the man still gives me butterflies.

Yesterday when my husband returned home from working a 12 hour day I was in "mom" mode, aka multitasking. I was working with my son on homework while talking on the phone with his den leader and sewing his patches on his uniform. Needless to say I was slightly distracted and caught completely by surprise when he handed me a dozen roses. I tried to wrap up the conversation with the den leader while arranging the flowers in a vase so I didn't notice what hubby was doing next. It wasn't until he came out of the bedroom informing me that I needed to get off of the phone. I cut the conversation off and said a quick goodbye. I was thrilled that he had been so sweet and thoughtful but I have to admit there was a side of me wondering "what have you done?".
When I got off of the phone he took it from me and led me by the hand through the bedroom into the bathroom. It was there I found what he had done in just a few moments of coming home. A bubble bath was being drawn and there were candles all over the bathroom. I almost cried. I said to him "Why are you doing all of this?". His response, "Because I love you and I want you to know how special you are.". Of course I wasn't completely out of "mom" mode so I told him "I'm helping A with his homework and I still have to cook your dinner." He just laughed and told me to get in the tub and leave it to him.
He finished doing the homework as well as cooked dinner. I came out of the bathroom about the time that he had finished cooking. We ate and he apologized for dinner taking so long to make. I told him that dinner hadn't taken long at all. He said "Yes it did, I wanted to bathe you but you were out of the tub by the time dinner was done."
No, we didn't have a fight recently. No, it isn't a special occasion. No, he hadn't done something wrong.
I love that man.

Back :)

2005-09-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Let me just say I am so sorry for having been away for awhile. Things have been busy, but in a good way. A very good friend of mine had moved away a couple of years ago and has moved back and bought a home. So, I have been over there in my free time helping her to paint and make it her own. Not only has she moved back to the area and bought another house but she is now only right up the street. That is so nice!
Along with helping her to get settled and decorate her new home we have been busy with the kids. School has begun as most of you know. With that comes playing taxi for the dance team and boy scouts. So yes, we have been really busy but it has been quite enjoyable. I promise I will write more later but for the moment I need to help the boy with homework and get to dinner.

The circle goes unbroken

2005-09-08T05:31:00.000-07:00

A little over 6 years ago I met one of the most amazing women I have ever known. I was immediately drawn to her and we became very close friends very quickly. It was through her that I met the closest of my friends. She had a way of attracting people to her. I had never had a group of friends like this one. Until then I had come to the conclusion that women couldn't be that close in a group type setting. But these women could. I had never seen or experienced anything that wonderful. This group of women truly cherished each individual person and their differences. Nobody was jealous that one may have a personality trait that another didn't, each respected and cherished the special qualities that every individual brought to the group. We learned from eachother and grew from eachother. The support that this group of women gave to eachother was amazing. If someone was going through a hard time they were ALL there. They encouraged you to be your best, built you up when you were feeling down and genuinely loved you.
Over time we became separated, some moved away others walked away. I have missed them and the special bond we shared. I have reunited my friendship with one of the ladies that are still in the area and have been so happy for that. Two days ago I heard from the one who began it all, the one who brought us all together. We have all grown over the years and changed but the bond was never diminished. The cycle has come full circle and it seems as if it is only the beginning of a beautiful reunion. One I have looked forward to for a very long time.

Just a note

2005-09-06T05:36:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted about hurricane Katrina and the devastation that she wrought. It doesn't mean I haven't been affected by it. It has been a slightly emotional subject in my household. My husbands family lives in Mississippi only 10 miles from the Louisiana state line. Thank goodness they are all ok. There was a lot of damage and most of his family have fled to other family members homes further north. They weren't in the heart of the devastation but their homes are still without power and it doesn't look like they will be getting it back before October. To see the pictures of Louisiana breaks my heart. I was married just outside New Orleans. The people there are some of the best I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. If it weren't for having children who need me I would be down there now doing whatever I can to help out.
A very good friend of mine called yesterday to say he was heading down with the Red Cross to help out. He's in my prayers, they all are.

Never a dull moment

2005-09-01T05:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things happen that lead you to believe that there is a plan. Things were just way to coincidental for there not to be. Yesterday started out as a pretty decent day. Justice and I went shopping most of the day, something we rarely get to do, and had a blast. My sister's birthday is Friday and I am hosting a party for her so when Hubby got home I had to go back out to pick up more supplies. As luck would have it I had to go to Walmart. We all know my feelings on Walmart so I wont go back into that now. Anyway, I had already had such a wonderful day I really didn't mind.
Of course, that was to change. I believe that stupid people breed way to much. I also believe they get together and pick a person to barrage with ignorance each day. Yesterday happened to be my lucky day. It began at the deli counter. The little old man who works behind the counter is such a sweet man, always smiling and friendly. He also happens to be black. There was a woman (a white woman) at the counter ordering something and decided to have a conversation with him. Being as friendly as he always has been he was happy to talk with her while he worked. She took it upon herself to inform him that she and her husband were looking into adopting another child and this time she had requested one with "darker skin" because she preferred them that way. Then went into telling him how her husbands mom, somewhere back in the lineage, was mixed with something. They didn't know what but it was "very obvious she isn't completely white" and they thought a darker skinned child would make her feel not so left out being not all white and all. As my body involuntarily began to shake and my head began to twitch I did my best to leave the area of the deli so I wouldn't have to smack her. The extent of the conversation seemed to be that she was letting him know it was ok that he was black. Like he needed her permission!!! Mr. Deli man, let me address you now. On behalf of the "lighter" race, I am sorry. We aren't all idiots nor do we all feel that you need to be excused for your skin color.
At the checkout, to my surprise, I had fallen in line behind BillyBob Redneck. I suppose having been exposed to his kin for the last 5 years I should have recognized him but in my neck twitching aneurysm I wasn't seeing clearly. He was by himself, which always spells disaster since he cant be happy not sharing his ignorance with someone. He spun around and informed me, in his loud booming voice, that "all those damn looters down there in New Orleans need to be shot. I think we should just shoot them all." I just stared at him. Don't respond, don't respond he will only speak again if you do. Since he received no response from me he turned to the man in front of him to try again with the same remark. My daughter quietly said to me "Yea, the looting does suck." I told her "Yes, the looting of TV's and peoples houses is horrible. But most people are looting food, diapers, formula. They have to eat and feed their children. They aren't doing anything I wouldn't do if I had no way to feed you." She got that. Seen as the man in front of him had paid for his items and left BillyBob turned back to attempt conversation with me. "I think looters are one step below child molesters. If I had a choice to save a looter or a child molester I'd probably save the child molester. I would kick him in the balls but I would save him." I could hold my tongue no longer. I had to inform him that this conversation needed to stop or he wasn't going to like where it was going to go. Stop talking to me!!!!!!!
BillyBob left. My turn to pay for my things, almost out of this God forsaken hell whole of stupidity. There are two men behind me, standing so close I can feel someone's breath on my arm. I write a check for my items and the cashier asks for my phone number. I give it to her, I hear the idiot behind me repeating it to his friend. Now, I have been bombarded with idiots since I have walked in this place. I'm feeling a bit like a wild animal who has been cornered. I turn around and get just as far from his face as he was from my arm and say "WHAT?!"
"Why do you want my number? Are you too going to bombard me with stupidity? If there is something you think you may just need to call and tell me say it now." They apologized, I paid and left. Of course, as I was leaving I had to find my daughter who had turned and bolted the second I spun around to speak with idiot #3. She cant let people know she's really related to me.

J

2005-08-28T04:46:00.000-07:00

I received a very sad phone call yesterday. The headline on our local paper announced the death of a little boy, he was only three. J was the little brother of two of my players on our baseball team last year. There are some kids who just reach out and touch your heart immediately, he was one. J was born severely deformed. He didn't have proper use of his hands as the wrist was turned inwards and he had some deformities on his face. As with most handicapped children these deformities never got in his way. He was just like any little brother, he wanted to do whatever his older siblings did. Before the games his dad would help him play catch with some of the other kids. When we would go to the batting cage we all helped J have a turn hitting the ball. I will never forget that giggle as he would say "Did you see that?".
The ladies were always in trouble when J was around. He was such a flirt! He would pick out 2 different ladies every game and alternate sitting with them. He would smile and share his candy. He would yell for the team with the rest of us and giggle as the kids ran the bases. J was such a sweet and loving little boy. He had been through many surgeries to attempt to correct some of the deformities as well as for his little heart. He only had one more surgery to go, that's the one he didn't make it through.
I know what his family is going through and my heart breaks for them. If you have a moment during the day and you don't mind say a little something for his family. I only hope they can pull through this tragedy and find some since of peace through all of this. My thoughts are with them.

The Ride

2005-08-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

It seems like it was another lifetime ago. Like so much time has passed that it couldn't possibly have happened this time around. But it did. Hubby and I were laying in bed discussing teenagers and Superman Syndrome (SS) last night. You know what I'm talking about, the "it wont ever happen to me". In that conversation I was reminded of a time that I myself was inflicted with this particular disorder.
I was about 16, cute as a button but didn't know it. A very rebellious kid for so many reasons I wont even go into now. At that point in my life I lived about 15 minutes from Washington DC. It may be the capital but it is not a very safe place to hang out. Whenever I needed to go somewhere I would hitchhike. Of course, I didn't have any clue as to how stupid that would be. I thought I could handle my own, proving my own infliction with SS. I remember one particular night I had been at my boyfriends house. It was getting late, somewhere around 10 or so and I needed to head home. My boyfriend walked with me for awhile but he lived about 30 minutes away by car so he couldn't go the entire way. Anytime a car would come by I would stick my thumb out trying to catch a ride. We walked for awhile before anyone finally stopped. When a car did stop I told the boyfriend bye and hopped in. I remember it was an older man, probably in his 50's. I didn't think much of it at first but I began to get uncomfortable pretty early in the ride. I thought it was odd that he wasn't speaking to me. After about 15 minutes of silence I told him to pull over that I could walk from there. He looked at me for a long minute and said no. I started to get kinda scared then he started to talk. He told me he had 2 girls that probably weren't much older than I was and if he ever caught them out hitchhiking he would beat them until they couldn't sit. He asked me if I had any idea how dangerous what I was doing was. At that point I didn't have much to say. To be honest, I was pretty shocked. Nobody had ever given me a hard time about giving me a ride before. He read me the riot act all the way home. When we arrived at my house he wouldn't unlock the door until I finished listening to what he had to say. He told me that he had never picked up a hitchhiker before and he hadn't planned on picking up another. The only reason he stopped to give me a ride was so nobody else would. I remember he said that I might not have enough care for my life to just put it at risk but he did, a perfect stranger.
Now I wasn't a stupid kid, or sheltered by any means. My parents were considered upper class but money doesn't mean love nor does it mean you know how to be a parent. So I knew there was a possibility of danger, I just didn't give it much thought. For some reason when this stranger said these things to me it made me think. That was the last time I ever stuck my thumb out for a ride.
I never saw him again, never knew his name. He made a difference in my life and didn't even know it.

Supreme Court Ruling

2005-08-23T05:44:00.000-07:00

As I was getting the children ready for school this morning I was watching the Today Show. They did a piece on a supreme court ruling that I haven't heard about anywhere else. It was saying that the supreme court has ruled in favor of a law holding stores liable and able to be sued in drunk driving cases if they sell gas to customers who are intoxicated. I have been thinking about this quite a bit and am really confused as to how that will work. I mean, I get the idea and think where they are trying to take this is a good idea, I'm just not really sure how realistic that is.
I don't know about you but the majority of the time that I go to the gas station I don't even go inside. I normally pay at the pump unless I happen to need something from the store. How is that going to work? If the person pays at the pump the cashier never had face to face contact and probably wasn't even aware they had been drinking. Are we going to have breathalizers at the pump now? I think the idea is good and we need to do everything we can to get people to stop drinking and driving but I just don't see how this will be effective. Could you imagine being sued as liable for someone you never saw?
Has anyone else heard of this? Perhaps there is more to it than what they reviewed on the Today Show. What do you think?

The cat is out of the bag

2005-08-20T16:13:00.000-07:00

OK, it is official. I am officially the crazy lady of my little Mayberry. I have no one to blame but myself, I have done this. I am not sure if it is necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, only time will tell. Let me regress a moment and tell you how it happened.
You see, the craziness wasn't instant, it had to be built up. It didn't just come on all of a sudden like some asthma attack. It was a gradual procession to crazy. First I had to do one of the many dreaded chores of parenthood, school clothes shopping. Normally I would do this during the week when there aren't so many people there. But as my husband would have to work late everyday this week and both days this weekend my only option was today. Off I went, to battle the traffic and people of the mall. We successfully lived through the ordeal with only a small kink which was promising my son if we left at that very moment we could stop at Walmart and get the spongebob shirt he had seen and wanted. OK, let me explain, I hate Walmart. So what exactly I was thinking to use that as a bribe on a Saturday at the end of the first week of school, I'm not sure. My mind was still in a daze from the whole mall experience, it's the only explanation I can come up with.
Walmart here we come! It went fairly smooth, well as smooth as Walmart can be on a Saturday afternoon at the end of the first week of school. Until the moment I announced my crazy. We had gotten the Spongebob shirt and I remembered we were almost out of vitamins. Since we were already at a store I figured we would just go ahead and pick some up. As we were walking to the vitamins a man was standing at the end of an aisle waiting for us to pass so he could turn. As we got just in front of him he decided to share his thoughts on my ass in the form of a "Mmmhmmm (insert male neanderthal grunt here)".
Now under normal circumstances that would have irritated me but I probably would have let it pass. But he did this in front of my son! He was not discreet in any way, was not quiet. Hell, we weren't even a good distance in front of him when he did it, we were less than 5 feet from him. OMG, I was pissed! My sister happened to be at the store with us but was looking in another section at the time of the "incident". I stopped abruptly and looked down to my son and asked him to go and see his aunt. When he did I spun around and got right up in that idiots face and told him exactly how I felt about his sharing. I will spare you the conversational details as there is no need to incriminate myself in writing. But I assure you he got the point as did anyone within the store, I am sure. So that's it, Mayberry knows. It's no secret anymore, they believe me to be slightly off. I will let you know when I have decided as to whether that is a good thing or not. For now, I really don't care.

My First

2005-08-16T05:07:00.000-07:00

I am sure most of you have heard about this .
When I first heard it on the news it brought back memories. When I was a teenager we happened to live in Japan for 4 years. I remember the first time I experienced their particular proof of Mother Nature. I was about 13 years old, laying in my bed at night. I had snuck a book that my mother had told me I couldn't read, The Exorcist. I had successfully hid this book for the entire week that I was reading it and was finally down to the last couple of pages. It was then that it happened..... I had just finished the last word on the last page and was in the midst of closing the book when all of a sudden I felt my bed begin to move. Petrified, I could do nothing but lay there with my mouth open attempting a scream that was stuck somewhere in my throat. The bed began to shake violently and I felt as if my entire bedroom was swaying. When I looked over towards the window I noticed the sidewalk. Seeing a sidewalk directly out of your window may not be such a big deal if your on the first floor, my room was on the THIRD floor! You see, in Japan their buildings are made to accommodate the Earth shifting as much as possible. In the event of an earthquake the building sways. Of course, considering the book I had just laid to rest, an earthquake was the furthest thing from my mind. No, it did not occur to me that this was an event of Mother Nature. In my 13 year old mind it was Satan himself come to possess my soul. When I finally had control of my body I stood on the bed and did the long jump landing directly in the hallway. Why is the hallway safer than the bedroom? I don't know, I just wasn't willing to touch the ground anywhere near my room where Satan was erupting from beneath my bed. I ran with all my 13 year old might directly to my parents bedroom, informed them what was happening and demanded to be put on the next flight to the States. My parents, the cruel people that they are did not believe me and attempted to rationalize and tell me it was an earthquake. They refused to believe it was Satan. Then my mother, in her sadistic form of humor, announced that we could rent the movie The Exorcist tomorrow. They are horrible people.
To this day I have never seen the movie, wont watch it. Funny, since don't believe in the devil with the whole pagan thing. But I was traumatized, damn it! To this day I have also never visited California, which I never will if I have any say. They have Earthquakes there too and their buildings don't sway.

As the Wheel turns

2005-08-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

Well, its that time of year again. Time to scramble through the packed stores fighting over the last pack of #2 pencils and waiting in lines that are 1/2 a mile long to check out. Yep, its the beginning of school. Of course, I dislike this time of year for the obvious not wanting to get up early. Although I must admit that I am ready for some quiet time during the day. It will be nice to once again have a sense of routine in the morning. Coffee just isn't the same with Spongebob blaring in the background.
We have done the supply shopping for my son, it wasn't to bad seen as he is still young enough to not really care what his notebooks look like. It's my daughters school shopping that I dread. Unfortunately I always seem to walk out of the store having spent way more than any normal human should on notebooks and pencils when buying her supplies. Although this year I have a plan. Seen as I have been doing this for all 10 years of her education I figure it is Daddy's turn. I am letting him take her school shopping this year, he has never enjoyed the experience personally. Oh he has heard me talk of it and isn't real happy about going but he is so going. Of course, I'm not going to let them go alone. He is new to this after all and she will have him conned so bad he will walk out of that store $500 poorer.

Wonderful day in the neighborhood

2005-08-10T06:18:00.000-07:00

It was 6am, way to early for any normal human to be up and about. I was taking my husband to work so I would have the car and be able to drive my daughter to work. I had my coffee with me in hopes that my eyes would open somewhere between his work and our home. On the last corner before turning onto our road the car in front of me slams on his breaks forcing me to hit mine. Of course it would all happen just as I was taking a sip of my coffee. Coffee goes everywhere, all over me, all over the dash, all over the steering wheel, all over the radio and is dripping slowly down my leg. Not a good way to start the morning, that alone should have told me to go home and get back in bed. Did I listen to that instinctual voice that said to return to the safety of my bed? Nope, there were things to be done. After cleaning the car and taking a shower it was time to take my daughter to work.
I get my son, who has the sense to still be sleeping, and put him in the car. We begin the 20 minute drive to the town she works in. We get about 2 miles from where she works and there is a police officer in the middle of the road waving some cars to pull into a parking lot and others to pass. Now, I don't have an issue with police officers, I respect what they do and have never had any problems with them. He waves me into the parking lot. We pull in and he approaches the car asking for my license and an ID from my daughter. I inform him she is my daughter, he laughs at me and says "yeah right.". He tells me he is ticketing me for 3 no seatbelts. We were all wearing our seatbelts, I point that out to him. He says we aren't wearing them properly as my car has the automatic seatbelts that pull across you when you sit in the car and close the door and I don't have the lap belt on. I apologize and told him I honestly never gave it any thought assuming that the shoulder belt was enough. I tell him that the lap belt on the passenger side has never worked since we have owned the car and we had been pulled over before so an officer could let me know my taillight had gone out and he never said a word about the lap belt and never ticketed me for it. His response: "Well, I am a traffic cop, this is my specialized field of expertise. Perhaps the officer that pulled you wasn't specialized in traffic law and didn't realize that it was a necessity to wear both belts. But this is my area of expertise so I am aware of the laws." As for my sons belt, my son was holding the shoulder harness away from his throat because that's where it falls on him. Apparently holding it away from your body qualifies as not wearing your seltbelt.
Then he ticketed me for not having a booster seat for my son. I informed him my son was well over 40 lbs and hasn't been in a booster seat since he hit that limit. The officer informed me that a new law has come into effect as of August 1 that says weight doesn't matter, if they are under 8 yrs old they have to be in a booster seat. I apologize again and tell him I wasn't aware. He doesn't care and tells me that new traffic laws are put in effect every year Aug 1 and if I wanted to know what they were I should contact the police department every year on that date and they would inform me.
He then asks for proof of insurance so I give him my insurance card. He wants to know where my policy papers are and I tell him they are at home in the file. He writes me a ticket for no insurance. I tell him I just gave him my card, I have full coverage insurance. Once again he tells me that as of Aug 1 insurance cards are not acceptable forms of proof, you must have your policy on you when you are operating a motor vehicle. He then writes me a ticket for improper equipment because the lap belt on the passenger side is broken. Then, to top it all off, he walks around to the passenger side of the car and writes my daughter a ticket for not wearing her seatbelt because she didn't have the lap belt on.
Once he was finally done, 45 minutes later and we were permitted to pull away I had to fight desperately the urge to run his ass over. I already had $300 worth of tickets, he must have used up all his spare ticket paper....What the hell was one more charge?

Strange

2005-08-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

A 30 minute shower had finally cooled things off enough to be bearable outside. My son had asked me if I would sit outside and watch him ride his scooter, he had some new tricks he wanted to show me. Grabbing some lemonade and a chair I went outside to sit with him. We were out there for quite some time while he showed me his new tricks. I found myself relaxing enjoying the environment around me. As he played I watched him and the horses listening to the birds in the background. I guess I had gotten lost in the tranquility of it all and was staring at my son. What happened next was kind of weird, could very well have been daydreaming, who's to say? While watching him come around the corner on his scooter for a brief moment there were 2 of him. One on the scooter giggling about how fast he could take the turn and one standing just off of the walkway hands on his hips, head thrown back in a good belly laugh. For a moment I was caught off guard and stared at the second boy, it was my son, only older maybe around 15 or 16. He still had the same features, tall and skinny and tan as he is now. His hair was cut short and had blonde streaks on the top. He was wearing long pants that were slightly baggy no shirt. He was precious. As quickly as the other boy was there he was gone. Weird, huh? Dunno what it was, like I said may have just been a product of daydreaming although I didn't feel as if I were. I suppose time will tell. It was so strange, it wasn't as if the other boy were a ghost, he was solid, real as you or I standing there. It gave me pause wondering if the different dimensions theory could be possible, as if somehow for just a moment, 2 different times crossed. Who knows.

Better than expected

2005-08-01T05:16:00.000-07:00

This weekend past was supposed to be a camping trip with some friends. It has been planned for a long time and we have all been looking forward to going and seeing everyone. Unfortunately hubby had to end up working both Saturday and Sunday so he wasn't going to be able to attend at all. It was tempting to stay home and just plan to attend the next gathering but we have already missed so many I didn't really want to miss another one. I decided that the boy and I would go, a kind of mother son camping trip.
We ended up having the best time! We went on nature trails, watched the animals, went horseback riding, went swimming. It was so much fun! We just hung out together and talked and laughed. Saturday night, after dinner we took a blanket down one of the trails and laid down to watch the stars. We wanted to come away from the campsites some so the lights wouldn't interfere with viewing the stars. Some of the other kids wanted to go too so we all went and laid there looking at the stars. The kids started a game of figuring out what animals the shape of the stars looked like, kind of what you do with clouds during the day.
Needless to say it was an extremely enjoyable weekend and I cant wait to do it again.

Karma

2005-07-22T04:51:00.000-07:00

Magic is a funny little thing. How many times have I said "don't play with things you don't understand?" How many times have I said "Do your research first." Some listen, others don't; you can always tell which ones paid attention to the advice by the results of their work or the chaos circling their lives afterwards.
There were 4 women who had a desire to heal. They wanted to do this together and for each other. Some of the women realized the depth of what they were about to do and knew the importance of pure thoughts in each of them. They called the other women together and held a pow-wow to discuss any unresolved issues that any might have. The two didn't know of any unresolved issues and had no reason to believe there were any but they wanted to be sure and take precautions before entering the circle. All of the women stated there weren't any issues that needed to be discussed and all claimed to understand the importance of discussing it if there were. Not all were being honest. They entered their circle with hearts and souls bared ready to discard that which was causing them pain; be it emotional, psychological or physical. They walked in complete trust.
For 4 weeks they held circle, 1 per week giving each woman their own individual healing. Helping to draw out the negativity and giving healing, helping her to banish whatever she needed to. The words were chosen carefully, the herbs were chosen carefully, the ritual was precise. They had taken great care so as not to encounter possible catastrophe. How could they have known they were about to cause each other more harm?
The one who wasn't honest, she harbored malicious thoughts towards some of the others. They lay there, open to her with complete trust. Did she push those thoughts aside to aide these women she once called friends? Was she even able to overcome the hate that had already begun to rule her life to help those women? The karmic backlash was cataclysmic. Unfortunately it wasn't just the one who paid the price. Each of the women had to pay, each of the women bore a responsibility. The price was different for each of the women all except the one they had in common....Their circle was destroyed. Their bond broken and their friendship was no more. In the end each of them had to heal alone, without the support they had so desperately wanted.
When all was said and done and time healed the wounds some of the women found each other once again. They had grown and learned and were able to rekindle their friendship and bring it to a tighter bond.
They learned a hard lesson about karma and about trust, but the lesson they did learn. Unfortunately not all were healed, not all grew and learned. For that one is alone and in the end the only destruction she was able to bring about was her own and her friendships with the others.

Quick Update

2005-07-11T05:56:00.000-07:00

Well the children left and arrived at their grandparents on Saturday. Of course, I sat by the phone until I received that call saying they had arrived safely. After that call came in some strange things happened around here.
My husband, one of the most intelligent men I have ever known, has lost his civility. He has taken to noises more of a Neanderthal nature. All clothing has been left behind. I wouldn't be surprised if he headed out back with a spear in an attempt to collect dinner. Thank goodness the man had to work today, my body is sore in places no woman should be sore. A girl needs some recuperation time, you know. Anyway, we are doing well. I don't know how much posting will get done this week, hubby is taking vacation starting Wednesday. I have a feeling that when that happens I am no going to get a chance to get here again.
Yesterday I did get him to put on clothes long enough to do some shopping. It took quite a bit of persuasion but he agreed. I did something unthinkable yesterday. I bought a bathing suit. I haven't worn one in about 4 years but here's the kicker.....I haven't worn a bikini since I was 17. I now own another bikini. Big step! Wouldn't you know that for the first time since I was 17 I buy and am happy with the appearance of myself in a bikini and it rains. So there will be no sun bathing today, no swimming in the new pool. The Gods do have their sense of humor.

Fear will make you crazy

2005-07-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

My heart broke for the people of London and anyone who has a loved one there. What a horrible, horrible tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I remember the fear of not being able to reach my cousin on 9/11. We didn't know if he was at the pentagon when the plane hit and it took forever to find out he was ok. I hate that anyone has to feel that kind of fear and terror.
Even though London is so far away from this little Mayberry town it had an effect. I was sad, afraid and angry for them. I started wondering if this was only the beginning of something bigger. Fear is such a crazy thing, especially in me who happens to be slightly psychotic at times. Less than 12 hours after hearing of London someone decided to drop off a bomb at our local grocery store. Here, in nowhere middle America, little as Mayberry. That was it, I was done. The children were being home schooled, never leaving my site again. They are supposed to go to their grandparents tomorrow for a week. I had convinced myself that even that wasn't safe. How could I protect them if I'm not close to them? They would be flying on a plane!!! We already know they aren't safe there! I had all kinds of crazy in my head.
My husband, bless him, tried rationalizing with me. Doesn't he know you cant rationalize with crazy? He was saying "Seriously baby, what are the chances that anything will happen to them? They are going to be fine." My response to this was "Well, lets think about this. If there is only a 1% chance of something bad happening and your kid is in that 1% do you really care that the odds were so low? If your the 1% does it really matter?" See, told ya, cant argue with crazy.
I have calmed down some and yes, my kids are going to their grandparents. I'm still scared shitless but I'm fighting off the crazy. I cant guarantee that there wont be more psychotic style posts but hey, I have to get it out somewhere.

When is enough enough?

2005-07-06T04:57:00.000-07:00

I'm sure most of you have seen the news and reports regarding this .
I sit here once again wondering at what point will it stop? When is enough enough? The man that took this little girl had molested atleast 2 other times and was still loose. Why did this little girl have to go through this? I'm sure the man who took her had his own fucked up reasons but the only reason that comes to my mind is because our judicial system, once again, has failed the children of this country.
It has been proven over and over again that pedophiles can not be rehabilitated. This is not personal opinion, it is scientific fact. Yet we continuously release them to prey apon the most innocent and vulnerable of our society. This particular man had already spent over a decade in jail for molesting one child and was out on bail for molesting a second when he snatched the little girl. Can someone please tell me what the hell was that judge smoking?! How did he get bail??!!
I hate to sound completely redneck and say just shoot them all but, you know, that's the thought I'm having. I mean, lets think about this.....He spent a decade in jail for the first child he was caught molesting. A decade, I will put money that the child spent more than a decade paying for that crime. I bet the child is having issues in his life to this day because of that crime and the man served a decade. How long do you think this little girl is going to pay for his crime? What effect do you think this will have on her future?
At what point will this society stop giving chances to pedophiles? When will we take our childrens rights more seriously than the rights of those who prey on them? Everytime we hear these stories people are horrified and angry but shouldn't we expect this? Until something changes and the laws are made to protect our children this is going to happen again and again. It has happened again and again. The next could be my child, your child or the child of your best friend.
When is enough enough?

A pleasant surprise

2005-07-03T04:36:00.000-07:00

About a month ago we were contacted by a local boxer rescue league. We are friends with many animal lovers and activists and have a wonderful relationship with our local vet. Somewhere in those relationships the rescue league had heard our name and history with our animals so they contacted us to see if maybe we could help them. We discussed it and decided the way that would be best for us would be to volunteer as a foster home. When Bandito passed away we hadn't given any thought to us being registered with the rescue league, that was furthest from our minds. Had we thought about it we would have contacted them and said take us off the list for a little while, we need some time.
I received a phone call from the director informing me they had a 1 yr old female that needed to get into foster ASAP. She was sick, due for surgery and the vet wouldn't be able to board her over the weekend. They didn't have any other foster homes available at the moment. It was a difficult decision, we are all still so sad over our own loss. I wasn't sure how I would react much less the rest of my family having her in our home so soon after our loss. Especially seen as her coloring was identical to Bandito's. I was worried but felt as if I couldn't let this little girl down, I had made a commitment and it wasn't her fault I had been absentminded in contacting the league. So I agreed.
Her name is Meg and she is absolutely precious. The fears that I had were completely unfounded. I was really surprised to find my family viewed the situation the same as I do. Bandito was such a good dog and took such wonderful care of us for so long, this is kind of our way of being able to continue to give back. Meg was kept outside and never shown any attention. She has a skin condition from birth that has never been treated. The family that owned her didn't want to deal with it and because of it never pet her, loved her. They ignored her. She is so starved for affection which we have been more than happy to give to her. Because she hasn't really had any human contact she is short in the manners section. We have been working with her and after only 2 days she has come so far. She enjoys us teaching her and just seems to soak in any and all attention we can give to her. She really is very bright, she has learned so many commands in such a short time. Hell, she has only had 1 accident in the house and she has never been inside a house before. I am glad we never thought to call the rescue and pull off of the list. We would have missed this wonderful opportunity and this precious animal.
She needs love and we needed to give it. It's going to work out just fine.

Encounter of the poisonous kind

2005-06-29T06:24:00.000-07:00

I have been away from the blogosphere for a few days out of complete necessity. As luck would have it, I had an encounter with a spider and lost. Unfortunately said spider was extremely poisonous. So I have spent the last few days enjoying the company of my favorite people, doctors. Well, 1 ER visit, 3 doctors appointments and 3 shots later they think I'm going to be alright. My body, at this point, must be a walking antibiotic. I don't think I have ever seen so much medicine. Anyway, I'm back and will be posting more soon. But it is early and I haven't even had a full cup of coffee yet so it is going to have to wait a bit.

Storyteller

2005-06-26T06:32:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a story. A story that could help someone, bring hope or teach a lesson. When that story is your own sometimes you cant see past the emotion to tell it. If you are lucky you may meet someone with an incredible command of language and they may want to tell your story. I have been fortunate enough to meet that person, one of the greatest writers I have known. She asked me for my story and I was honored.
This is my story.

Bandito

2005-06-25T06:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a very sad day in our household. I had started the night before with a minor ear infection which turned into something serious over night. I had contacted the doctor the day prior and he was able to fit me in that day. When I got up yesterday I was getting ready to go to my appointment when my son came in to see me. He told me that he thought something was wrong with our dog, Bandito. When I asked him what he meant he explained that he had defecated in his room and wouldn't respond to my son calling him. I immediately went to my sons room to check on the situation. I knew right away that Bandito had passed on. We had been fortunate to enjoy him as long as we had. Bandito was a boxer and their average life expectancy is 7 years, he was 11. He had shown no signs of being sick and looked as if he had just passed on in his sleep. As much as we knew it would happen eventually due to his age it didn't make the shock any less. We are all greatly saddened but at the same time thankful he passed so peacefully. My son and husband dug him a grave out back not far from our circle, they felt that would be a perfect place for him to rest. He was a good companion and will be missed.
My husband insisted that I keep my doctors appointment so I went. They gave me medication but as luck would have it I apparently have formed an allergy to this medication. I broke out in hives last night and have been fighting them all night. Things will get better, it would just be nice if the negative was spaced a part some.

Buck

2005-06-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

When I was a child my grandparents were a very integral part of my upbringing. My mother had me when she was very young so we lived with them until I was 5 and she remarried. On and off during that marriage we lived with my grandparents but even when we weren't in their home it was rare for us to be far away. They were a big part of my life. I have been thinking a lot about them lately, my grandfather mostly. Probably because of Father's Day having just passed. He was such a funny man.

Grandaddy used to have a "secret" candy drawer. Nobody knew about it except me because I was the favorite (until my daughter was born anyway). He used to sneak me candy all the time but I got extra when I felt my parents were being mean to me.
He used to tell stories about growing up on a farm. His favorite part was telling about the times he had to work in the slaughter house, because it used to make my mom puke.
He used to come out of his bedroom just to walk into the living room where we were sitting to fart all the way through the room. He laughed so hard when he did that, he did that a lot.
Grandaddy could clear out a room quicker than anyone I have ever known.
He used to tell me stories about the war. He had everything he had ever received from the military. I wish I had recorded those stories.
He never sang although his favorite song was "Oh Lord it's hard to be humble". You younger generations wont understand that.
For as long as I can remember he flirted with every cute cashier at the grocery store.
Grandaddy had the bluest eyes I have ever seen.
He didn't say "I love you" often, hardly ever. You just always knew.
He would give you everything he had if you needed it, you wouldn't have to ask.
He believed in hard work, good manners, respecting your elders and always helping others in need.
He was the first stable man in my life, the only one until my husband.
He was a good man, one of the best.
I miss you Grandaddy.

Just a thought

2005-06-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

I try to keep up regularly with the what's going on in the world today, I read the news and watch it on television. My husband says its because I have gotten old. Maybe so, but as I have gotten older I have found that I want to know what's happening out there. I suppose when your younger it doesn't seem really important because you cant see a direct impact on your everyday life. As you get older you realize that there are a lot of things you didn't consider important that do impact your life. Most of what I see and hear on the news is negative, hell that's pretty much all you hear about. Every now and then something will air that is a good thing but they don't dwell on that to much. I think the media is afraid that if they report to many good things they wont be able to keep their fear hold on us.
Anyway, I was sent a story yesterday that just made me smile. It was about a 12 yr old girl in Ethiopia who was kidnapped by a group of men wanting to marry her. Apparently this type of thing is not uncommon in that region. Normally the girls are kidnapped, beaten and raped so that they are shamed and must marry. Well, this time things didn't seem to go as planned. The men had succeeded in the kidnap part and were in the midst of the beating part, that's where things got a little hairy for the men. While they were beating this child 3 lions walked out of the tall grasses. The lions took the girl, placed her behind them and proceeded for the men. Obviously the men ran out of fear of being eaten. Here is the even more interesting part. The lions didn't leave, they stayed there and guarded this child until authorities found her. At that point the authorities reported the lions just got up and left.
A scientist or two has tried to find a possible explanation as to why these lions reacted this way. They explained it by saying that the child may have been whimpering while she was being beaten which reminded them of a cubs cry. Well, lets think about that for a minute. First, these were male lions not lionesses. The first thing a male lion does when taking over a pride is to eat all of the young, he ensures the females will go into heat and that all of the young will be his own. So if they did mistake it for a cub, which I highly doubt, why didn't they eat her? Secondly, how common is it to see three male lions parading around together? Really.
Just something I found very interesting. Perhaps our scientists should stop trying to prove animals aren't that intelligent. Perhaps we should pay attention and see if there isn't something we could learn from them. Or perhaps the animal kingdom at times gets tired of watching us be so stupid and just cant stand by and let us continue to destroy eachother.
Perhaps.

Never a dull moment

2005-06-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

This past weekend has been a very long but enjoyable one. There is one thing I can say about us, there is never a dull moment around here. Friday was a day of rushing around and making sure everything was in order for closing ceremonies. We fit in a doctors appointment because I have not been able to get Austin's cough under control. The doctor said he is fine, maybe forming allergies. I had so hoped my son would be able to skip out on those but I guess he is going to get his father's allergies. Then I had to go pick up the trophies. They turned out so good!!! I was so very impressed and will definitely be using this company in the future. The kids trophies were golden gloves big enough to hold a game ball set on a white marble base. The base had a black plate on the front that had gold engraving with each child's name and team on it. The trophies he made for the coaches were the glove but on a pedestal with a baseball beside them, they also had the engraving. I had each of the children put their names on the game balls so they could have those to set in their trophies. That evening was slightly crazy because nobody knew what time our game was on Saturday. There was a play off game being played Friday night and that would determine what time our game was the following day. I was up until 11pm Friday night trying to find out when we would play and still didn't find out.
Saturday morning around 8:30 I finally found out our game was at 1pm. Thank goodness I was able to reach all of the parents and everyone showed up. The game was just for fun so we decided to let the kids have fun with it. They could play whatever positions they wanted. The outfield played infield and the infield played outfield. It was hysterical and they had a blast. We had our pizza party for the kids immediately following the game and gave the kids their trophies. They were all so cute. I have to tell you, I am glad the season is over for the break but I am going to miss those kids. We are definitely coaching again next year and maybe fall ball. We have enjoyed this way to much not to continue it. After the pizza party we were unable to go back to the field because D and I had plans that evening so we went back home to get ready.
One of D's friends from work was having his annual bash at his house. It is a memorable event, people come from all over the country for this. Last year we went and had a really good time, it is truly an experience. A bunch of good people getting together, live music, good food, lots of harleys, lots of alcohol.....Its an experience. Last year I had a little to much fun and paid dearly for it so I knew this year I would be pacing myself so as not to get in that condition again. They say all first timers experience the initiation, I wasn't doing that again. Now let me tell you, D and I don't drink very often so it doesn't take much. Last year may have been my year but this year was most definitely his. I have talked to D and he has said it was ok to blog about it so long as I left out some very embarrassing moments for him, so all of this has his permission. Just didn't want you to think I would be here telling the world without him oking it. It all started out alright, just enjoying friends and the music. But as the night progressed D had a bit much to drink. No, he didn't get sick. But he did try and sign me up for a spaghetti wrestling contest. He also tried to sign me up for a wet t-shirt contest then proceeded to tell everyone why it is he believed I would win. Now anyone that knows my husband also knows that he is very shy around women. That is unless he has a bit of liquid courage, and boy did he have a bit. He was the life of the party, dancing and carrying on making sure everyone was having a good time. When he was explaining why it is he believed I would win the wet t-shirt contest one of the women showed him hers and said asked if hers weren't just as good. He smiled like a 5 year old that had been dropped smack in the middle of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and responded with "Oh those are very nice, I like those but Ravyn's would win, no offense." No, he wasn't in trouble for his actions that night. He was very intoxicated and just having a good time. Knowing how shy he is I knew he was going to be so embarrassed the next day, I was gaining ammunition. I laughed so hard watching him all night. Of course the following day when I told him all that he had done he could have curled up and died right then and there. Especially when I told him about grabbing our friends butt. He swears he is never leaving the house again. He is never drinking again, never facing people again. I figure I heard about my "initiation" for a whole year, he is so catching hell for this until next years party. Of course he knows it is coming and is accepting it with only covering his face from embarrassment and no complaint. Which is a good thing cause, boy did he give me hell. LOL
Sunday was fathers day and it was nice. We spent the day with the kids just relaxing. The kids and I got up that morning and made D a big breakfast. We just spent the rest of the day enjoying eachother and went out to dinner that night. It was a wonderful end to a crazy week. I hope all of you dad's out there had a wonderful father's day!

Ceremonies, Ferocious Beasts and Reporters

2005-06-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to post as I would like because, well, things have been slightly crazy around here. Not necessarily a bad thing just busy as hell. With the end of baseball season approaching less than a week away and boyscouts ending their run until school starts I have been and will be attending more closing ceremonies than I can take. I have figured one thing out from all of this though. These people have absolutely no clue as to what the hell they are doing. I swear, you would think I had joined in their first year or something. The boyscouts ceremony was scheduled on the same day as my teams double header but it was timed to start an hour and a half before the first game. I figure, no biggie, we can head to the ceremony pick up his awards and patches then head to the game. Why on earth would I think it would be so simple? I should know by now it wont be that easy. The ceremony itself didn't even start until 15 minutes before we had to leave. Thank goodness they got to my sons award just as we were preparing to get up and head to the game. Of course they were missing some of his patches, we have gotten used to this by now. One day we will sit down and create an organizational system for them, just not today.
Baseball season is about over, we have one more game left. Well, two but the second doesn't count. Why a second game that doesn't count? Because a second game that counts would make way to much sense and be easy. Are you seeing a pattern here or is it just me? On a good note, I got their trophies ordered today and will have them in time for closing ceremonies on Saturday. Man, I probably shouldn't have said that because the trophy situation has gone way to easy and I may have just jinxed it.
I have a crazy habit of talking to my animals. Well, I don't find it crazy and few of my friends get it but most people think its crazy. Anyway, whenever I wrestle around with my cats I have told them they are ferocious beasts, little descendants of the lion. I know, weird...Cant help it. I find it funny, and its my house so I can do that. Well I think they have taken me seriously. This week I have saved my cat from the perilous clutches of my roof....
Twice
I must say I am proud of myself. I only almost killed an ump once this week. Hey, its a record for me and I'll take what I can get.
On a new record though I almost ate a reporter for the local paper. It was his fault, I swear. Just a big P.S. for anyone out there that might not have the common sense to know better. Do not, I repeat, do NOT hide in a corner with a camera taking pictures of my son while he is playing with other children then approach me asking for the child's name. Good way to get eaten. Hasn't he heard I'm crazy? Someone really should have warned him. He knows now. I must take a moment to explain this one though, cause I swear it was his fault. No, really. I'm coaching the game, because our coach cant read a schedule and didn't know we had a game that night, and my son is up to bat. The kids in the dugout are acting up so I turn to tell them to behave. One of my parents approaches the fence and tells me she thought she saw some man standing on the other side of field taking a lot of pictures of my son. I turn to look but don't see anyone and the kids are taking complete advantage of my lack of attention to them and act up even more. I turn back around and begin to get them settled and the parent tells me she had never seen him before. I figure I will keep a close eye out, we are a small town and everyone knows everyone around here. Two batters later we are switching to go to the outfield and I am instructing the kids as to what position to take on the field. Next thing I know there is a man standing beside me with a camera around his neck, never seen him before. He does not introduce himself, does not say hello, no courtesies at all. The only thing he says is "Hey, do you know that kids name? The one wearing number (my sons number) jersey." Of course I want to know why he is asking. He still does not tell me he is with the paper, his reply was "I would like to know how to spell it." He immediately found himself up against the fence, me in front of him and a row of bats within my reach. The inquisition had begun. It wasn't until after that he told me he was with the paper, a reporter. Well hell, how was I supposed to know? The only thought in my head was "pervert". I know I'm a nut, hell I'm even ok with it. But I still think he should have told someone he was there so he didn't look like a pervert lurking in the corner of the field taking pictures of my kids. Anyway, I didn't eat him, I didn't even hit him with a bat. I did good :)

Why am I Insane? Reason #1

2005-06-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

Most of you who have been reading for awhile have probably already come to the conclusion that when it comes to my children I am slightly neurotic and maybe even a bit paranoid. I'm aware of it, doesn't bother me, I'm cool with it. I figure I have lived every parents worse nightmare so I am allowed a little crazy. I have to tell you though, its situations like what happened yesterday that just confirm my craziness or my need to be anyway.
My children are going back home to visit their grandparents for a week this summer. We have been doing this for several years but normally my mom drives here to pick them up and my dad drives to bring them back. This year they decided to fly them. My sister is accompanying them, which is the only reason that I agreed to them getting on a plane. My mother bought the tickets, e-tickets, and forwarded them to me. In looking at what she forwarded it is only an itinerary of their flights. Figuring surely there must be more than that I called the airlines to see what type of documentation I would need to bring to put my children on an airplane. Here's where it gets good.
I explain to the airline representative what is going on and ask what I need to bring to the airport for them to board the plane. Maybe birth certificates or social security cards?
him: "Both of your children are under 18?"
me: "Yes"
him: "Oh well that makes it easy then. You aren't required to bring anything."
me; "No, you don't understand. We don't have the tickets in hand, these are e-tickets and it looks like nothing more than an itinerary. Their names aren't even on here. Plus, I'm not flying with them my sister is. So what do I need to do to show that I ok them getting on the plane and prove that they are who I say they are?"
him: "Ma'am, you don't have to show any proof. Federal law says that they don't have to show identification until they are 18 years of age. So you wont have any problems getting them on the plane. Your sister will have to show a valid drivers license to get her ticket but we don't need anything for the children."
me: "Your not serious"
him: "Yes ma'am, that's the law."
me: "So you mean to tell me that anyone can purchase an adult ticket and a child's ticket and board a plane with a kid without showing who they are?! All they have to do is show a drivers license?!"
him : (slightly hesitating) "Yes ma'am"
me: "DO you have any idea how easy it is to get a fake ID? They don't even have to show who this child is they are taking God knows where?! There are thousands of children snatched from their homes every year and your just going to give them a free ride on a plane?!"
him: "Ma'am we are in compliance with federal law."
me: " Well maybe you need to think about that. I can take any kid I want anywhere I want and your going to give me a ticket to do that?! Don't you find something crazy wrong with that?! (at this point I am screaming) Why not just put up a sign 'Kidnappers ride free'. I can not believe you people do absolutely nothing to ensure the safety of children on your flights. I wonder just how many flights you have booked for children who aren't who you thought they were."

The conversation only deteriorated from there. OK so it wasn't necessarily this guys fault that the laws are the way they are but I was pissed. I cannot believe it is that easy for someone to fly a child away. I know he thought he was making my life easier but all he did was make me scared shitless. Needless to say I am sure there is some type of notation somewhere on the computer system for my children's tickets so I am bringing all of the necessary documentation to the airport with me. Just in case I did make someone stop and think because apparently I was asking questions they weren't accustomed to answering.
You see, its things like this that make me crazy.

Tagged

2005-06-09T06:07:00.000-07:00

OK Herbinator tagged me with this. I was waiting until I had something much more sophisticated to say, but hey, I'm a mom so keep that in mind with my answers. LOL
# of books that you own:
OMG! I own so many books, there is no way I could even guess on that. I am such a book hog. I have 2 book cases full as well as a ton littered through out the house.
Last book bought:
Green Eggs and Ham......I told you, keep in mind I'm a mom and Dr. Seuss rocks! Of course, that was purchased for my son. The last book I bought for myself is hard to remember. See, I am a very avid reader and I normally go through a book in one day, two at the most. So I tend to do a lot of re-reading or my little hobby gets quite expensive.
Last book I read:
I just finished re-reading The Mists of Avalon. I have read it like 6 times or something. It's a good book.
Five books that mean a lot to me:
Hmmm Books in general mean a lot to me. I guess the five that I own that mean a lot would be:
1. Smart Medicine for Healthier Living - This book is so well worn that it is missing the back cover. It is an amazing reference book that should be in every home. It is one of the only books I have found that actually cross references herbs as well as prescriptions with eachother. It gives you side effects, proper dosages, reasons not to administer, how to use the individual herbs, what parts of the plants to use. It also has Bach Flower, Aromatherapy, Nutritional and acupuncture for hundreds of ailments.
2. Psychopsymatics - Awesome book about the brain and how it functions.
3. Animal Speak - Wonderful book on animal symbolism
4. Learning Journey on the Red Road - An amazing book written by Floyd looks for buffalo hand.
5 Anything by Dr. Seuss he rocks!

I miss Her

2005-06-08T07:55:00.000-07:00

Years ago, when we first moved here, I met one of the most amazing women I have ever known. We hit it off right away and became the best of friends. She had children close in age to my own so we found ourselves not only friends but two parents going through the same parenting issues together. We shared similar religious beliefs and had so many interests in common. We spent a lot of time together, she was family to me. She shared my tragedies, helped to pull me through them. She shared my suffering, my pain and was there to help pick me back up again. On the days I didn't want to breathe much less get out of bed, when I finally would force myself up she was there. If doing nothing more than washing my dishes, she was there. For that alone she will always be special to me. We hurt together, we laughed together, I loved her.
She was, at the time, in a marriage that was falling apart. I was there for her. When they moved away in an attempt to start over I was so sad. I knew I would miss my friend terribly. I also knew this wasn't the first time they had moved around and she didn't have much contact with old friends she had made. This was just the way she dealt with moving, it made it easier for her to move on. I knew this, and accepted that about her so I didn't expect to hear from her much. We still have occasional contact, not as much as I would like, but again, I knew this. They eventually ended up in divorce.
Her husband has moved back to this area and made contact with myself and some mutual friends. The mutual friends have been in regular contact with him since his return, I have not. They want us all to go visit him, hang out. I cant do it. I have tried and tried to turn this over in my mind but I cant do it. She was my friend, she is my friend. He was really horrible to her and if I were to go I feel as if I would be betraying her. Even though we don't have the regular contact that we did I cant do that to her. Maybe its silly, but I see it as an act of betrayal and she meant to much to me. Even with distance and time between us she is in my heart, always will be. Maybe I am faithful to a fault when it comes to my friends but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Is it?

MINE!

2005-06-07T06:53:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a good friend of mine yesterday, discussing different topics from news to children. Somehow we got on the subject of our oldest children. You see, I have a daughter who goes off to college in 2 years, hers goes off to college in 3. "You know what they have a college, don't you?" I say
"What do you mean?" she asks.
"Frat parties"
That comment alone caused us both to come to the conclusion that our children are NOT attending college. They can be homeschooled. Yea, that's it. She will be safe then. Because you know I already have it in my head that there is some horrible man just waiting for my baby girl to enroll in college. He's waiting for her, I just know he is. He is going to entice my sweet innocent little girl to drink and party and God only knows what else. I'm not going to think about it, I'm not, I'm not going to do it. I don't want to go to jail.
Then, of course, we have the whole "Senior Trip" thing looming closer and closer. My daughter really believes she is going on one. Poor thing. She will be lucky if she makes it to the stop sign for her senior trip. Because, well, we wont even go into what is in my head to happen on that! She says she is going to Cancun LOL. Lost her mind she has. Of course, I informed her she was not going anywhere. "I will be 18 mom, you cant really stop me." She thinks she is smart, she thinks she can outwit me. "Yes, you may be 18 and legally I may not be able to stop you but do you think that will really hold me back? Or better yet, you can go. Because I'm going with you." I'm the mom, lived longer, way smarter. "You cannot go on a senior trip with me!" she says "Watch me." was my reply. She is never leaving the house again, never. To many people waiting to prey on her, I'm putting bars on the windows tomorrow. Who the hell said she could grow up anyway?! That wasn't in the contract, I didn't agree to this. And nobody prepared me at all for this. I heard about the terrible 2's, about teenagerdom, but nobody said you have to let them go and here is how you do that. Well I say NO! I carried her in my body for 9 months, went through 12 hours of hard labor to get her fat head out. Spent many a sleepless night taking care of her, worrying about her. Clothing her, feeding her, teaching her, nurturing her, loving her. So she is mine, damn it! I claim her and by all rights I can say "hell no" to her right to grow up! I outrank her, she cannot grow up anymore.

That's what little boys are made of

2005-06-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

My children are pretty far apart in age, my oldest is 16 and the youngest is 7. There are several times I have thought my youngest should have had a sibling closer in age to himself. Life would have been easier. Someone to play with all the time, talk to, he wouldn't be bored. Well this weekend we have had a little boy stay with us all weekend. He is just a year older than my son so they have been playing pretty well. Of course, as I have learned, there are the boyish squabbles but overall it has been good for the both of them. It is me that I have found wouldn't have been able to handle having two boys so close in age. Boys are so very different from little girls! I thought I had already learned that, I had more to learn.
When little girls have sleep overs they tend to lock themselves away in their bedroom giggling over God knows what. Playing with barbies, makeup, clothes; all the little girly stuff. They don't come out much except for the occasional fashion show that you must watch or for the "I'm hungry" breaks. Little boys, on the other hand, do NOT lock themselves away anywhere! They run through everywhere holding epic battles anywhere they can wield their make shift swords. They will only be satisfied playing with something as long as it isn't in intervals that last longer than 15 minutes. Then they will run to the next thing making sounds along the way that resemble what must have been war cries in ancient times. They are not quiet, they do not giggle and they are not still. As a woman I am completely lost in this testosterone ravaged territory. Don't get me wrong, I have completely enjoyed having this little boy over and we will have him over several times more. I am just learning here.
I am learning they wear me out!

Assume makes an ass out of you and me

2005-06-04T05:41:00.000-07:00

Being a mother is the most thankless, low paying job I have ever had. It is also the most rewarding and I cant think of one I would rather have. Most of you know I am a SAHM and consider myself very fortunate to be able to do that. It wasn't always that way. There was a time when I was a single mom of two working 2 full time jobs, busting my ass just to make ends meet. It seems so long ago now. I have slowly been getting to know a woman who has reminded me of that time in my life, her situation is different than mine was but I still understand.
Her husband was murdered 5 years ago leaving her with 2 young boys to try and raise on her own. They are good boys, respectful, polite; she has done a good job with them thus far. Yet, she still struggles. She goes to school full time in hopes of getting a better paying job so she can give her kids a better life and chance for the future. She works full time to be able to put what little bit of food she can afford on the table. She enrolls her boys in extra curricular activities so they wont have idle time to get in trouble. She attends everything they participate in and she is the loudest one in the stands shouting support for the kids. The children get good grades because she takes the time to sit down with them individually and work on it. She attends all of their school meetings and is involved in their education. There have been only a couple of men in her life since that dreadful night 5 years ago. Unfortunately they haven't been any who really wanted to be involved in her kids lives.
Now, when she is at a point that she needs a second job in order to maintain their house she has nobody to turn to. She is devastated that the boys may have to quit their extracurricular activities, but what other choice does she have? Who is going to be with the children while she works all night? Who is going to get them to their games? She is a proud woman and doesn't like to ask for help. There isn't really anyone close who can help. She has turned to someone she barely knows. In doing that something inside broke, the reality of her situation hit her. She cried to this woman who was barely more than a stranger not knowing what else to do. Would she help her? Would she shun her as nothing more than some single mother who had gotten herself with two kids and should have known better as other people had assumed?
People stand outside that situation and make assumptions. All they see is a woman with 2 children living in an old rental home, no father in the picture and they assume. They assume wrong. Yes I will help her, I will be glad to help her. I will help without judgment, without expectations. I have been there in my own way, so many women have been there in their own way. We should help eachother pull through this.

Ladies night, oh what a night!

2005-06-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

I received a phone call yesterday from a good friend of mine whom I haven't seen in awhile. She has just recently moved back into the area and wanted to have some friends over for dinner. I have missed her and knew I could definitely use a night out with the girls so of course I agreed. It's about an hour drive out to where she lives since I live so far out in the country but it was an enjoyable drive. Once I got there we popped open the bottle of wine I brought and visited on the front porch waiting for the others to arrive. She lives in this beautiful Cape Cod style home with its big wrap around porch, herb gardens planted decoratively in the front. She lives with 3 other women, one of which I have met recently (Linda) and really enjoyed, that woman's mother and another roommate whom I had yet to meet. The mother was there when I arrived and we hit it off immediately, what a neat woman! We had a lot of interests in common, she owns her own costuming business and I could have just picked her brain all night. Linda arrived home shortly after my arrival bringing with her another woman, I don't remember ever meeting this other woman but she knows me somehow.
Anyway, we all gathered in the living room and back porch through out the night enjoying some wine and eachothers company. How I have missed conversing with a group of intelligent women. I was particularly awed by the relationship Linda shares with her mother. You would never know they are mother and daughter, the mother doesn't look old enough for one. But most importantly they are the best of friends, it wasn't as if someone's mother was there it was a group of friends hanging out laughing and having a good time. I found myself thinking if all mothers could have that relationship with their daughters when they are grown what a wonderful thing it would be. There was a genuine bond between them of enjoyment, happiness and love; they just enjoy eachother. Dinner was amazing! We had smoked salmon over rice and some kind of fresh salad with strawberries and poppy seed dressing. All of the women in this home are artists in one form or another so the interior decorating is breath taking. What a neat group of women!
I knew when I left that we definitely needed to do that again soon. When I got home around 1am everyone was asleep so I crawled quietly into bed beside D. To my surprise he rolled over and smiled "Did you have a good time?" "Yes, I really did. You were right, I needed that." I said. "I'm always right, you should listen to me more often." was his snickered reply. Always the smartass, that one. Jabbing him lightly in the ribs we rolled over with his arms wrapped around me and went to sleep. A perfect ending to a wonderful night.

We did it!

2005-06-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

Last night was absolutely amazing! I don't know what kind of Wheaties my kids ate yesterday but I am going to find out and keep a permanent supply. Yep, we won the game. Not only did we win but we won by the mercy rule. The mercy rule, for those of you unfamiliar, can only be invoked by the ump after the 4th inning. It says that one team has atleast 10 points over the other team. That was us 15 - 5. You should have seen those kids, they were unbelievable! Everyone of them on the ball, I didn't have to yell for anyone to pay attention, there was no dance class going on in the outfield, they kept it together. Hell, even the kids who have never touched the ball with a bat got a hit every single time. I could not believe it, there I was screaming like a banshee. They were so cute, they would see the score and get excited saying "we're winning". I told them "don't get to excited because this has happened before and when you guys get to excited you slack up and then they kick our butts. They are a good team so we need to stay focused and hold them back.". Don't you know they did it! They started telling eachother "calm down don't get to excited we have to hold them back." Then of course once it was over they went nuts, hell I went nuts too! I'm so proud of them, I knew they could do it.

Cook Out

2005-05-31T06:44:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day! It was pretty nice around here. We had originally planned to just get some much needed yard work done and spend the rest of the day relaxing. After about 3 1/2 hours in the yard my daughter changed those plans. Benefit of having a teenager, I suppose. She called and asked if she could bring home some of the kids she works with for a cookout. What the hell, I figured. So that meant a quick trip to the store so there would be food to actually feed these people. I'm not really sure what I was thinking, going to the grocery store for food, on memorial day?! I figured I would run in and grab a few things and run out. It didn't quite work out that way. They were sold out of chicken, baked beans, tomatoes, hot dog buns and steaks. I'm sure they were out of more items but those were the ones I wanted. I guess it turned out alright anyway, I ended up buying ribs which I wouldn't have bought if I could get chicken. I have to say, the ribs were damn good. So we ended up with ribs, burgers, hotdogs, pasta salad, baked beans (made my own), chips and corn on the cob. It really did turn out to be a lot of fun and the kids had a good time.

We have enough weirdos, thank you

2005-05-29T05:51:00.000-07:00

Due to us living in the heart of the bible belt and the fact that my daughter has made the decision that she does not wish to be open regarding her beliefs, there are very few people aside from close friends who know my religious beliefs and practices. Not really a big issue for me, I respect my daughters privacy and there really isn't anyone I wish to tell about my beliefs. The people who matter to me already know. Although there are certain circumstances that arise on occasion where I would really love to open my mouth. One of which occurred yesterday.
My son had a baseball game and arriving early as we usually do I was sitting on the bleachers grabbing a bite to eat before I had to get in the dugout with the kids. As I was sitting there other parents moved to my area of the bleachers to discuss different things related to the team. I really do enjoy most of the parents we have but there are a few that just shouldn't be allowed to breed. Of course those are the few who chose to stay in my area after the conversations were over. I couldn't help but overhear what two in particular were discussing. One of them, lets call her J, had brought some books with her and was sharing them with another woman, we will call C. One of the books had something to do with "How psychic are you?" and they were discussing the "special" powers some people have. J began explaining that psychic abilities were something that everyone had but she found she was particularly gifted in that area, an old witch had told her so. It was because of that she was researching all of her special abilities. She then asked to see C's palm and told her she could feel what had happened in her life. She told her she had experienced a life of poverty (no shit, C lives in a trailer park and announces that regularly), she wasn't going to have any more children (God i hope not she has 5 and she is only 24), she was still searching for her one true love (imagine that, 5 children, 5 different fathers something she also announces regularly). Then J began informing her that C should check out the other book she had brought because there were ancient spells in there to help her find her one true love and bring him to her. At this point I realize that my entire body is beginning to convulse and I must leave the vicinity before I begin shouting at the ignorance. It was then that I heard the last I could hear before losing control of myself. J informed C that this particular book contained ancient secrets dating back to before Stonehenge. As my eyes began to roll back into my head and spittle began to run out of my mouth I steadied my convulsing body enough to stand and ran to the dugout. I so wanted to straighten things out. There was also a part of me that wanted to say "Pick a different belief system we have enough weirdos thank you.". I know mean, but damn do we really need anymore? I also wanted desperately to inform them that spells were not the religion just like praying wasn't the total of Christianity. And that spells were not the way to solve all of your earthly problems especially not your love issues. I have found though, that most people want an easy way out. They don't really want to deal with their own psychological issues so they think a spell will cure them. One day, one day I will straighten it all out.

Schools out for the Summer!

2005-05-27T06:16:00.000-07:00

It is officially that time again. Time for bbq's, frozen drinks, bathing suits, pool parties, beach trips, sleeping in and the fun goes on.
The kids had their last day of school yesterday and I had the privilege of sleeping in until 8 this morning. I know, some of you are laughing saying 8 is not sleeping in. But when you are accustomed to getting up at 5 then 8 is sleeping in. I have so been looking forward to this day. Counting down with the kids on the calendar. As I awoke this morning I realized that this is not turning out how I had envisioned.
upon waking to the cat meowing and smacking me in the face, it was way past his time to go outside and play, I heard some strange noises coming from the living room. Stumbling out of bed I get dressed and head for coffee, I can handle anything with coffee, it makes it all better. Blindly reaching for the coffee pot my hand brushes through thin air, my eyes are open now. Where the hell is my coffee pot? Does someone wish to die?! It;s not in the machine, not on the counter, I'm becoming frantic..... I need coffee!!! My son, my precious little child comes into the kitchen and informs me that the coffee pot is on the table. I look and see it sitting there, next to the cat food bowl and it has water in it. "Why is it on the table?" I ask. "The cats were out of water and that has a water pourer on it so I wouldn't make a mess. See, I didn't spill any water mommy." He was now holding the sacred coffee pot demonstrating for me his blasphemous act. I am torn, kill the child for touching the scared holy coffee well or be happy he was trying to not make a mess that I would wake up and have to clean. I chose the latter and proceeded to make my coffee. The cats had become desperate now and were tag teaming my legs with very sharp claws so I figured I would let them outside, I had to wait for my coffee to brew anyway.
Realizing that I had woken to a strange noise I went in search of it. It is then that I found spongebob shrieking something on the TV. Where was my morning news? Why was it not quietly informing me of the weather? I suffered through the cartoon until my coffee was done figuring I could hibernate in my room with a cup of coffee and my computer until I woke up. As I proceed to get online I find someone is using my phone line. My son, my precious child whom I gave the breath of life too is NOW on the phone with some other 7 year old child discussing the cursed cartoon they are watching. This is all messed up, this is not how it was supposed to be.
This is going to be a long summer.

Yet another Kitty adventure

2005-05-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

Sunday, after taking our company to the airport we spent the day lazing around. By 6pm I was in pajamas curled up on the sofa with Hubby watching TV. Around 8 it was starting to get dark so I went to call the cats inside. All of them showed up except one. I figured he was just running off somewhere playing and wasn't to concerned. He would be back soon and I would just keep an eye out for him at the back door. Around 8:30 he hadn't come back so I was beginning to get worried. I went back outside to call him. I thought I heard him crying but the door was still open to the house and the noise from the TV made it hard to hear. I came to shut the door and told my husband to put his shoes on I think something is wrong. Shutting the door I went back outside to call and listen for the direction of his cries. It sounded like it was coming from the side of the house so I jumped the fence and followed the sounds. Once I got around the side the cries became more frantic and I noticed the neighbors cat sitting on top of my car. As I started towards him he took off and I realized the cries were coming from above me. Looking up I found my missing cat sitting about 20 feet up a pine tree. He was stuck. About this time my husband came outside and saw what was going on. We both tried calling to him but he wasn't budging. You know me, that's my baby and he is stuck, the only logical thing to do is go up after him. My husband looked at me like I had lost my mind and reminded me that I was only wearing a t-shirt. "Shit, ok I'm going to go throw some clothes on. I will be right back, you stay right here with him." I said.
I guess he realized there was no use in trying to talk me out of this so as I went inside to change he began up the tree. When I came out he was about 15 feet up trying to get my cat. I'm freaking out yelling for him to come down and let me go but of course he isn't listening. The particular tree that my cat had chosen as his sanctuary was not a very sturdy one, about as big around as my thigh and my husband is no little guy. I just knew this tree was going to come down with him in it.
Anyway, we were not successful in saving my cat and I did not sleep well that night knowing I was in my nice comfy bed while he was stuck in a tree. My husband was convinced that he would come down by morning, he is a cat and cats can climb. I tried to explain to him that I knew my cat and he wasn't going to come down, this one isn't a climber. Of course he thought I was nuts. Come the next morning, guess what? My cat was still in the tree. My older cat was sitting under it and had been all night as if he was keeping guard.
I spent about an hour trying to talk him down which resulted in him doing a lot of crying, me being very worried and to top it off.......He peed on me. I suppose that was payback for leaving him up there all night.
After a lot of phone calls I found someone with a 20 foot ladder and Justice was kind enough to lend her truck and assistance and we finally saved my baby.
It's never a dull moment around here.

The vow of Silence

2005-05-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

I tried! God knows I tried! I avoided conversation with him, hell I tried to avoid contact period. But damn it if he didn't cause me to lose it. It's not my fault though, you see my husband left me alone at the house with them to go get a bag of ice. Therefore it is my husbands fault hehehehhe
I had listened to all the insults he could throw at D (that's what we will call my friend) that I could stand. From things like....If I wanted to see a 60 yr old woman's body I would watch D get dressed (she's 30); she can talk when I say she can, so long as she listens to me all will be fine. Then of course the final one, the one that broke the camels back (remember hubby left me alone with them so its his fault).
D and I were in the kitchen having a conversation while I cooked dinner, ape boy (that's what we will call her boyfriend and I will explain later) was in the living room watching something stupid on TV. All of a sudden he yells in to her "I don't know what you just said but I'm sure I didn't like it".
"Well I guess it's good that this conversation was between her and I then, isn't it?" was my reply.
"Are you trying to say that it isn't any of my business?" he asked
"Wow, and I thought you were slow, good job catching that one." I responded
"Apparently you don't know how this works, everything about D is my business." he said
"Funny, that sounds a lot like her husband, look where that attitude got him." I said
At this point the phone rang, I couldn't have timed it better myself, it was D's estranged husband. I looked at the caller ID and said "Oh look, it's your twin now." and handed him the phone. When he had handed the phone of to D he turned back to our conversation.
"I am nothing like him, prime rib doesn't get tossed to the side." he said
"Oh now your prime rib. I bet you came up with that yourself because I have only spent 2 days with you and I would say your right down there with hot dogs. You do realize that hotdogs are the left over parts nobody wants? What I find even more fascinating though is that her husband thought the same and he was ranked in your category too." I continued to cook dinner
"I bet you just have a problem with the fact that I take control of things. I take care of everything. A man's job is to take the reigns with a woman or she will just cut his balls off." was his intelligent reply.
"Cut his balls off? Well if your prime rib why on earth would she do that? It seems to me that your hot dog may have a complex and your extremely insecure and perhaps that is why you find the need to overcompensate." I said
"I will admit I am a insecure person" The first intelligent thing out of his mouth
"Imagine that, and I have only known you a couple of days. How long you think it will take her to get tired of all the other ridiculous shit you spew? As far as I'm concerned you can continue to act like her husband. I don't like you anyway and that will only get you out the door quicker. So please, continue."
That was pretty much the end of the conversation and I have to say the rest of the evening was fairly pleasant. My husband even commented that he was tolerable later in the evening. Then I told him of the conversation that had transpired. He just laughed and said "I wondered how long you would hold up". Of course I told him it was his fault and he just laughed and said "of course it was." So see, he admitted it.
I have figured out what is wrong with ape boy though, it hit me last night. Have you ever watched one of those shows on the discovery channel about the evolution of man? You know how they show the different species? I think the one before us was Neanderthal. Well he looks like that, with the large jutted out forehead, really small eyes, jutted out chin and arms that are just disproportionately long. So, I figure the problem is that he didn't completely evolve. That has to be it.

Idiot

2005-05-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have been reading you may remember that my best friend from back home has come to visit me. This is the first opportunity I have had to get online and make a post as they have gone to the city today to do the tourist thing. I am so enjoying seeing her again and the few conversations we have been able to have alone. She has brought her boyfriend with her for me to meet. I have heard so many wonderful things about him and God knows I am trying to see those things. But he is making it so difficult. I am having difficulty seeing past the rude, obnoxious and controlling behavior. She has just recently left her husband of 6 years and it seems to me that she has met a man just like him. Why do women find it ok to settle for someone who treats them with absolutely no respect? Not to mention why do they not even see the lack of respect? I have never been one to bite my tongue, I'm just not good at it and he is so pushing my limits of silence.
Let's give a couple of examples here, maybe I am overreacting so you tell me what you think........
1. We are eating lunch at a restaurant she takes a bite of an eclair and some of the cream gets on her lip. Idiot says "Wipe your mouth". She says "I'm working on it". Idiot says "Now your lip, that's it, that's a good girl."
2. She and I are going to go rent a movie for all of us to watch and let us have some girl time while the guys visit. Idiot says "I'm going to go with the girls. We don't want them getting something stupid and without supervision you know they aren't going to get anything any good."
3. We are riding in the car, I'm driving, she's in the passenger seat and idiot is in the back. He says to me "I'm out of cigarettes, give me one." Now we will just leave the rest of that conversation to your imagination and I will leave you with this question....Do you really think he got one?
4. We are watching television and they are side by side on the loves seat. Idiot stands up and says "I'm not comfortable here, you sit here and I'm going to sit where your sitting."
5. We are watching TV and a show comes on about women buying the right clothes for their body type. She is really into the show when he begins talking. She says "Just one sec baby, I want to hear about choosing the right bra size so they look right again." He says "They never said they could perform miracles, I'm sure they didn't make this show for you."
There are so many more but that gives enough for you all to give me an opinion before I take this into my own hands and just shoot him. I am in need of fertilizer for my roses anyway.

The Perfect Night

2005-05-15T05:43:00.000-07:00

I had gotten up early to get started on yard work seen as it was supposed to rain that afternoon. My husband wasn't real thrilled about waking up that early but he knew we had things to get done. My husband took our daughter to work while I got started and when he returned he headed out to do his part. We spent the better part of the day out there, working in the yard. Once we were finished with the yard work we spent some time sitting on the back porch admiring our work and enjoying the cool breeze.
Around 5pm we were on the couch, drained from working in the sun all day. Realizing there was no way we could go down for a nap (kids, ya know) we decided we needed to do something to wake ourselves up. The next thing I know hubby is putting his shoes on.
"Where are you going?" I asked him.
"Outside, it's nice." He replied, and walked out the door. He was only out there a few moments before returning and telling me to put my shoes on.
"Why? I'm comfortable."
"Because it's pretty outside and the cool breeze will help you wake up." Was his answer. I really did not want to get off of the sofa, I wanted to be lazy and was secretly hoping my husband would take pity on my exhaustion and tell me to go take a nap, he would stay up with the kids. But, I got up and put my shoes on. We walked through the yard talking about the different trees and looking at what was blooming. On the back of our property we have an area that has never been cleared out. A long time ago we had cleared way for a path and cleared a small area for me to have rituals in. It was perfect, it gave me privacy with all of the growth completely surrounding me. As we were heading to the back area my husband pointed out that the path we had cut out was still there, surprising since I hadn't been back there since Yule. He suggested we go and see how the circle had faired and since I was already intrigued at the path still existing, I agreed. Once we were down the path we rounded the corner to the clearing and I saw a chair. Wondering what that was doing back there I picked up my step and saw the most amazing site. There was not one chair, there were two; in between them was a vase of flowers, the fire pit had been re-dug and the stones swept off. My altar had been set with my Goddess candle lit on it and there had been fire wood carried out and placed beside the fire pit. On one of the chairs was a card. "what is all of this?" I asked, extremely shocked. My family has never been able to pull a surprise on me.
"Well, tomorrow is our anniversary and I have to work and we are so broke we cant go do anything but I wanted to do something for you."
I was stunned. I hadn't expected anything. This may seem silly to most of you, but this was the best thing in the world. Most people, my husband included, seem to think that in order to do something for a special occasion it must be extravagant. But that's not me. Spending a lot of money means nothing to me, time and effort means everything. Something personal, something done with love, nothing makes me happier than that. So we sat out there and built our fire up and cuddled. Something I thought was really cool was when we were getting our little branches to make kindling my husband would say "bless you little tree". My husband doesn't practice the same way I do, but he knows this is important to me so he did what he could to be respectful of nature. That alone brought tears to my eyes. He also took that opportunity to teach our son respect for nature. We decided to sit out there and roast hotdogs over the fire and I have to tell you that was the best dinner I have ever eaten. No it wasn't fancy, I don't even like hotdogs normally. It wasn't extravagant, it didn't cost anything but it meant everything. Not only does he love and adore me, he "gets" me. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

Perhaps?

2005-05-12T05:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent quite some time on the phone with Justice Our conversations are normally interesting but yesterday they were even more so. We started out a discussion regarding religion which we do quite often. Trying to solve the worlds problems, you know. I'm not sure how the conversation turned to the habits of women but it did. We were discussing the nature of humans in general and the differences in the interactions between women and men. I was saying, for example, men can have an argument or even a fight and hang out the next day. We as women, for the most part, cant do that. If we have some type of a blow out we aren't talking to that "bitch". God only knows how long we are going to hold this grudge, we're good at that and, as you men know, we forget nothing. Not to mention if you talk to most women they will tell you that they get along better with men than they do with women, they don't trust women in general. Well, we got to discussing the why's and wherefore's of that and you know we just couldn't leave it alone. After taking a step back to evaluate the relationships between women some things occurred to me. Now I recognize that I may be wrong, this is just a thought, maybe a different perspective.
Women, from childhood, are given the suggestion that they aren't good enough. As a child they see the airbrushed models on magazines, they see their mother's unhappy with her physical appearance fighting with diets, they see the television depicting what is perfection and what isn't. As we get older we strive to reach those unrealistic goals of perfection which does nothing more than beat at an already low self esteem. When we, as grown women, see another woman that we perceive as beautiful we tear her apart in our heads. We find every flaw we can possibly find and put a little tick on the scoreboard in our mind. Trust me men, we do this. The less flaws we can find in her the more we dislike her, she causes us to face our own insecurities. If you look at the cover of any woman's magazine you will see articles being advertised like "10 ways to please your man", "new beauty secrets", "What men really want". Most of which is bullshit but we have been buying into this for years. Another example...alot of times if a husband cheats on his wife and she finds out she goes to kick the other woman's ass, or wants to. Yes the other woman may bear some blame in this situation but in actuality he is the one who had a commitment to uphold with the wife. Why do we take blame off of the man and place it on the woman? Because women are the enemy, cant trust them. In reality women aren't the enemy, neither are men. If women were taught to bond closely and value the relationships with other women perhaps a lot of things wouldn't occur. A relationship with a man is amazing, my husband is my best friend. But who is going to understand the constant flood of emotions you are dealing with on an everyday basis better than someone else who deals with that as well? Women having friendships with other women are important. We need to stop fighting with each other because of our own insecurities and come together to cherish who we are. The grass is not always greener. Just because we see a woman who we believe is more beautiful than us doesn't make her perfect nor does it make us any less than we are.
I was faced with a situation that baffled me for a long time about a year ago. My husband has a good friend who happens to be single and was over visiting one evening. He had made a comment that the new girl at the gas station up the street was really pretty, he wouldn't mind getting to know her. I go to that gas station everyday and couldn't for the life of me figure out who this was. Once I realized who he was referring to my first thought was "you have got to be kidding!". She was not at all what I would have considered beautiful, I had ticked off tons of flaws. I remember driving away that day giving a chuckle to myself and thinking he needed glasses. It wasn't until I had given my reaction some thought and went back a few days later. I had decided I was going to take another look without ticking off flaws. When I went back I looked at her, I truly looked at her and she was pretty. It was then that I realized that as women we are looking for an image of unrealistic perfection yet men look at you and the beauty you have. They aren't looking for what we have been taught they are. They aren't looking for some unrealistic idea they are looking at the beauty of the person in front of them. This is not to say that all men will see a woman as beautiful, we all have different taste. But it is to say that what we have been told we need to be to attract a man is false. All we need to be is ourselves and stop attacking eachother. There is beauty to be found within each and every one of us. So I am making a conscious effort to stop the instinctual "ticking" in my head when I meet a woman. This isn't a competition and we have nothing to fear from each other, it is our own insecurities we fear.

Don't mess with the hair Part 2

2005-05-10T05:45:00.000-07:00

Now, I have just seen my sweet innocent child turn into The Incredible Hulk, bounding across two seats to attack and my mind is reeling. There are so many different thoughts running through my head and the principal is pointing out to me how her attack was not in defense of herself but she was the aggressor. "He hit her first!" I point out. "Yes but he was walking away, the initial confrontation was over when your child went after him. Which is why they are both being suspended. He hit her and walked away, she chased after him and hit him several times." This man is looking at me as serious as he possibly can and acting as if we are dealing with a juvenile delinquent here. At this point I notice that my daughter is beginning to slump in her chair and put her hand up to cover her face. She has read my reaction and knows what is coming next and wishes to not be seen as she is embarrassed by her mother acting a fool for all to see. "So you mean to tell me that you want my child to sit there everyday and take someone walking by and hitting her on a regular basis? How do you know that the confrontation was over? How do you know that he wasn't walking back to his seat to set his books down so he could come back for a better hit?" I'm on fire, someone hold me back. "I think that's exaggerating a bit, don't you? This boy showed no signs of coming back to her. Those are the rules Mrs. (my name) they are set in place for a reason. We can not and will not condone violence of any kind." Was his reply. Was he nuts? Could he not see the claws growing out of my hands as I sat there in front of him? Could he not see that I was preparing for dinner and he was the appetizer? This man was no match for me! "Oh you condone violence all right. You condone violence against women. We are supposed to be mild meek little creatures for you to stomp to the ground when you get the inkling. You expect my daughter to sit there and take it? Well I got news for you, that's not how I raised her. She tried to get your help, you chose to ignore her. Well now you got me in your face and I promise you wont be ignoring me!" I am now standing leaning over this mans desk, finger in his face and I can hear this voice in my head screaming "Shut Up Ravyn!!". But no, it has begun, there is no shutting up the crazy neurotic mother bear when she escapes from her cage in my head. It doesn't matter if she is right or not, she is out and cares none. "She was taught she better not be caught throwing the first punch or antagonizing it but if someone hits her she damn well better defend herself. Let's face it, the only reason we are here is because she embarrassed one of your little football players who thought he could pick on a girl and never thought he would get his ass beat by one. She knows how to defend herself and she will defend herself everytime someone puts their hands on her and you wont do a damn thing about it. If you would like to take this all the way to the school board then the courts lets do this, you have no idea who your messing with. If you did nothing regarding this boy continuously hitting her you will do nothing about her defending herself." He proceeds to tell me how I have taken this out of context, he is only trying to do his job, he is not an encourager of abusing women. No, there is no reason for this to go that far blah, blah blah. "that's right because by you punishing my child for defending herself and not punishing him all the times he hit her is preferential treatment. I sure would hate to see the school board involved and you possibly loose one of your precious ball players for God knows how long while I drag this out as long as makes me happy." Now looking back on this situation I realize that I probably over reacted, maybe took things a little far but damn it I was mad. I couldn't help it. Needless to say, my daughter was not kicked off of the bus for two weeks. This boy never bothered her again, although, I believe it was probably because of being embarrassed he got his ass kicked by a girl rather than the principal telling him to leave her alone. Oh well, whatever works. The school thought I was a fruitcake, probably still does but we aren't in that area anymore so I wouldn't know. Oh there was talk all over about this crazy woman who jumped across the principals desk and kicked his ass. No, that's not what happened, but somewhere along the gossip line that's what it turned into.

Don't mess with the hair Part 1

2005-05-07T05:47:00.000-07:00

The phone call came in the morning requesting my presence as soon as possible. I hadn't even showered, the kids had only left for school a short while and I was trying to enjoy coffee and some quiet time. Downing the rest of my coffee and unsure as to whether I was irritated at the loss of my quiet time I headed to the shower. I got dressed and headed to the school wondering why it was I had been summoned to the principals office. I found it very irritating that whenever this happens a part of me drops right back down to 13 years old and filled with dread over being sent to the principal. Upon reaching the school I shake off the dread and remember that he cant call my parents because I am the parent. That feels a little better so lets get this over with. I walk in the office to find my 13 yr old daughter sitting in the chair waiting for me to arrive. "You want to give me a heads up as to what I am about to hear in there?" I ask her.
"You remember that boy on the bus I have told you about? The one who always walks by and hits me on the head?" She says
"Uh-huh"
"Well yesterday my hair was looking really good mom and he came by and I told him not to touch me and he just smacked me in the head again."
"Ok" was all I could say.
"Well I'm tired of it so I got up and hit him back."
"Ok, so why are we here?" I ask
"Because they are kicking me off of the bus because I hit him."
Now I'm thinking no way in hell they are kicking my kid off of the bus because she defended herself. Granted her reasons might have been a little off but the rights activist in me is screaming NO WAY!
We get in the principals office and he proceeds to recount a similar story to hers and says she is being suspended from the bus for 2 weeks. "I don't think so" I say. He looks at me like I am nuts and quickly informs me that I don't have any say in this, its a school matter and they don't encourage fighting. First mistake, don't tell me I don't have any say. I know it isn't mature and I cant help it but I will drop right back down to that rebellious teenager and we're going to fight.
"So you mean to tell me your going to kick my kid off of the bus for defending herself? This boy has consistently walked by and smacked her for weeks, nobody has done shit about it and when she finally takes it upon herself to do the job that you and your staff were obviously incompetent of doing you are going to punish her?!" I'm on a roll here, somebody stop me!
He looks at me as if I have lost my mind and tells me that it didn't happen that way at all. That she shouldn't have handled the situation the way she did. At this point I am demanding to see the tape, I know they have tapes on the school busses now and I want to see it.
After a couple of calls and the bus driver being conveniently close we are able to retrieve it and I'm thinking I want some popcorn cause this is going to be good.
I see the boy walk up to her, she speaks to him and he smiles and smacks her in the head as he is walking past. All of her nicely done hair flies around. You see her sit there for a moment and push the hair out of her face. Then I see this child that I gave birth to, this sweet child, jump up onto the seat and fly across two more seats, tackling this child to the floor of the bus and proceed to knocking the shit out of him. Now I'm torn here, there is a part of me thinking this is not good, and then there is the other part of me screaming "that's my girl!".

Embarrassed? I dont think so

2005-05-07T05:19:00.000-07:00

I am not really sure why a lot of women are embarrassed by it. For me it is something I am proud of, being a stay at home mom. Anyone who has dabbled at the job knows it has absolutely nothing to do with laziness. I remember a conversation with my dad over the Christmas holidays. He was saying that if I had a job we would bring in more money which in turn would allow us to visit more. My husband makes decent money, our bills are paid and there is some left over. Sometimes it is tight but we don't go without. I don't mind working and have for many years but when we got to the point where my income wasn't necessary to run the house we made the joint decision for me to stay home. We wanted one of us with our kids, we didn't have them for someone else to raise. There was even a point in time where I worked and my husband stayed home with them. What sparked this post was this article. There isn't a price you could put on staying at home with your kids. They also forgot the job description of psychologist. Anyone who has a teenager knows that particular job description is a must. I guess my point is how could anyone possibly think that the raising of the next generation, the ones who will eventually care for us, be something to be embarrassed about? What I think is something to be embarrassed about is if you have the opportunity and are staying home with your children and not paying attention to them. That should embarrass you, not raising them.
I like the idea of being paid a ton of money to stay home and raise my kids but to be honest there isn't any amount that would make it worth while. There isn't any dollar amount that you could offer me that would make it rewarding or even desirable. It already is all of those things but because I see it in my children's eyes everyday not because I am being paid. The value of my children's happiness, physical and mental health, their smiles, their trust....I cant put a price on that. Their is nothing wrong with a woman having a career but there is also nothing wrong with the woman's career being her children.

Unforgivable

2005-05-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

I came across this article and I have to tell you, I am pissed off! I cannot believe this is being done. Not only are they taking absolute complete advantage of their authority over these children but they are endangering their lives. At what point did some idiot on capital hill decide it was ok to play lab rat with our nations children?! WTF is wrong with these people??!!! My next question is after deciding that it was ok to play lab rat with our kids why the fuck didn't anyone check up on it?
It was shown that there was a significantly higher death rate among the children who took the higher doses. Now people, we are not talking about testing them to see if a medication works; that would be bad enough. Not only were they testing to see if it would work but they didn't even have a clue as to what the doses should be. They were injecting these CHILDREN with toxins and GUESSING!!!!
I find this interesting : "Some foster children died during studies, but state or city agencies said they could find no records that any deaths were directly caused by experimental treatments." Well now isn't that convenient. Of course you couldn't find any correlation between the deaths and the poisons you were pumping into there little symptoms because that would make you liable!!!
"Wisconsin "has absolutely never allowed, nor would we even consider, any clinical experiments with the children in our foster care system," spokeswoman Stephanie Marquis said." well atleast someone has some sense left.
"A recent Institute of Medicine study concluded those Institutional Review Boards (IRBs) were often overwhelmed, dominated by scientists and not focused enough on patient protections." Did they really think they were concerned about the well being of these children? They were targeting the most innocent in our society and of the most innocent the ones who didn't have anyone there to have a voice for them. How low must you crawl?!
"Many studies that enlisted foster children involved early Phase I and Phase II research the riskiest" Someone okayed this people!!!
If there is anything that could disturb me more it is that these asswipes actually used the defense that if the children were old enough, between the ages of 5 and 10, they were warned of the possible side effects and asked to consent to the study. WTF??!!! Is a 5 yr old big enough to decide whether he should drink beer? Is a 7yr old big enough to decide that he should carry a gun? NO!!!!! But those are the appropriate ages to decide whether they should risk their lives in some science experiment? I think not!
There is nothing more precious than the life of a child, absolutely nothing. And the simple fact that there are parents out there who don't recognize that is appalling. But that our own government not only doesn't recognize it but is willing to exploit them is unforgivable.

*I apologize for not linking but for some reason I am having serious issues with my linking capablities at the moment. Justice help!*

They got a taste

2005-05-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

Last night we had another ballgame, they average about 2 per week. This one was different thought.......They won!!!! You should have seen us out there screaming like lunatics. I was so proud of them they did such an awesome job. The other team was the last up to bat and our kids knew they were winning. Once they heard that third out they knew they had won and came running in, jumping, screaming and hugging eachother. I was so happy for them, I have just been wanting them to get that first win in to lift their confidence. This week is going to be a killer, I hope the kids don't get burnt out. Because the last 4 games they were supposed to have were rained out it seems they are making them all up at once. We have practice tonight, then a game Friday night, a double header Saturday, a game Monday night, Tuesday night and we are back where we began. It is going to be a very long week but at least they got a taste of winning, they needed that

Times Change

2005-05-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

It was 16 years ago. Both of us dating best friends which is how we met. Even with her being able to live the life of a normal teenager and I a new mother, we took to eachother instantly. Back then we thought we knew it all, there wasn't anything you could tell me. We were young, beautiful and dumber than hell. Both of our relationships were horrible and abusive. They didn't start that way, just seemed to progress there at the same time. Our friendship was immediate but the bond we formed grew so strong during that point of our lives. I married the man I was dating, she was smart enough to postpone her wedding day. She was there as my daughter grew, there when I had my second child, there when I was beat down and there when it was over. She was smart enough to leave her boyfriend, seeing that gave me the courage to follow suit. Once I made the decision there was no turning back, a weight was lifted off of me and my life began.
Once we had realized that we deserved better, we demanded better..... Our lives flipped around. We went out to meet it head on. There were crazy nights, wild men, drunken stupers, bar room fights, dancing on tables, taking over clubs, and many many hangovers. We were the girls your mother warned you about.
Times changed and we calmed down, to an extent. I met my husband and everything changed for me. He is my rock, I didn't need to go out seeking that attention anymore. I remember telling him that he had some how managed to bottle a tornado, because that's who I was. One year after I was married she and I went back out for a reminiscing of girls night out on the town. I took her to the club my husband and I used to frequent and it was there that she met one of my husbands friends. She ended up marrying him regardless of my pleading for her to reconsider. He was an ass, always had been, still is. But she was in love. It has been 10 years since that night and she has finally found the good sense to leave him. We haven't hung out in years, I have moved 800 miles away but we still keep in touch. Everytime we have talked on the phone, no matter how much time has gone by, it's as if we spoke just yesterday. We still have that bond. She has never been able to come and see me since she was married to the horses ass. But now, she is coming, she will be here in three weeks and I cant wait.
What I find amazing is that 2 husbands, 3 kids and 800 miles later we still connect. I'm not that crazy girl anymore. I don't start bar fights, don't get kicked out of clubs, don't carry a regular hangover and am at peace with myself and my life. She is too, we grew up but not apart. I am sure we will settle on the sofa with a bottle of wine and giggle about the stupid crazy shit we pulled back then, and all will be good. It's funny to look back on those times, it seems as if it were a million years ago. The people who know me now would probably find it hard to believe that was me, I guess I finally grew up.

No Show

2005-05-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

Well I'm sure most of you are under the impression that I have been very busy with my father-in-law visiting and that's why I haven't been able to post. I must tell you that my house was finished on time and the walls ROCK! After busting my ass all week and rushing around Thursday finishing up we got a phone call around 8:30 pm. My father-in-law was not coming, he had hurt his neck and didn't want to drive. So there I stood, dripping sponge in hand, hair disheveled, panting, sweating, looking like a recently whipped slave. I couldn't decide whether I was irritated or not. I had just about killed myself getting this done and now he wasn't coming?! On the other hand, I know myself and had I not had that push to do it my walls would probably still be half painted. What a horrible way to be left standing, when everything in you wants to be irritable but you cant because you know you wouldn't have done it other wise. So now, I am the house Nazi! My children think I have lost it hehehe. I figure we are expecting visitors from out of town every weekend this month and I refuse to kill myself like that again. They set something down, I scream "Pick that up!". They get something to eat, I scream "Clean that up!". They walk in the door with muddy feet, I scream "Get the mop!". They think I am being completely unreasonable and I am taking a perverse pleasure in irritating the piss out of them.

Self Inflicted Crazy

2005-04-28T04:56:00.000-07:00

Things have been a bit busy here, by my own making of course. You see, I cant do anything easy, I must always make it difficult for myself. My father in law is coming to visit us this weekend, he will be here tomorrow afternoon. He has never seen our new house so I wanted things to look really good. I decided I could paint the living room, but no not just any normal painting. Normal painting would be way to easy and take much to little time to complete. I must use a faux suede finish. Something that looks nicer but takes much more time and effort leaving little to no time to actually clean my house in preparation for his arrival.
Well, here it is Thursday and I have one more side of the room to finish today. Sounds good right? Only one more side then I'm done. The only problem is that I have spent all of my time painting so the laundry is piled up, the bathrooms are a mess, my bedroom is a disaster area and I'm not really sure when I'm going to get to it all. Because in all of this mess that must be straightened up the children still have their extra curricular activities to attend. My daughter must be at dress rehearsal tonight for her chorus concert, the boy has a game and to top it all off, I blew a tire on my car yesterday. So add that to my "to do" list, get a new tire.
You know, of course, my husband took this wonderful opportunity to point out that he thought I should wait until after my father in law left to paint. He now walks with a limp :)